Wedding Etiquette Forum

hair + make-up...instead of a dress???

I did not pick a bm dress for my wp.  I told them they could wear what they want, under these 2 conditions...  I have asked that the dresses be floor length, and black (no other colors, they could have beading or whatever, just no other colors).

Since they are not spending ridiculous amounts of $$$ (really...no money) for a dress (and all have already told me they have something in the closet they can wear...3 of them wearing bm dresses that they wore before in someone elses wedding) would it be tacky to ask them to pay their own way if they would want to have hair + MU done with me-day of the wedding?

thoughts...comments...

EDIT: the hair + MU is definately NOT a requirement

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: hair + make-up...instead of a dress???

  • You aren't required to pay for their hair and makeup unless you're making them do it.  If you say "Hey, this is where I'm going to be getting my hair and makeup done, and if you guys want to do it it will cost x amount, let me know if you want me to put you on their appointment list for the day of," then you're putting the ball in their court, and you don't have to pay.

    If you say "I want you guys to all get hair and makeup done with me the morning of," then you have to pay.
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  • no, no, definately NOT a requirement. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • The bride doesn't pay for BMs hair and makeup.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hair-upinstead-of-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d9a8c975-4d3b-4a02-863b-02e073a73e11Post:87c97347-1d23-4e30-b7ae-9265f764fa71">Re: hair + make-up...instead of a dress???</a>:
    [QUOTE]You aren't required to pay for their hair and makeup unless you're making them do it.  If you say "Hey, this is where I'm going to be getting my hair and makeup done, and if you guys want to do it it will cost x amount, let me know if you want me to put you on their appointment list for the day of," then you're putting the ball in their court, and you don't have to pay. If you say "I want you guys to all get hair and makeup done with me the morning of," then you have to pay.
    Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    Ditto...if you are requiring it then you need to pay. If its just an option they need to cover it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hair-upinstead-of-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d9a8c975-4d3b-4a02-863b-02e073a73e11Post:11d8af03-d7d4-42de-865c-da3cb42afe0e">Re: hair + make-up...instead of a dress???</a>:
    [QUOTE]The bride doesn't pay for BMs hair and makeup.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    I did.  And their dresses and shawls too.

    In any event, the bride doesn't HAVE to pay for their makeup, UNLESS she requires it be done professionally.
  • Perhaps it varies by region or circles you travel in. In my circles, when brides have chosen for hair and makeup to be professionally done, each BM paid their own way. Never heard of a bride paying. Its no different than a BM paying for her dress or shoes. 
  • I booked time at a salon- if they want their hair and makeup done, they are paying for it.  Some are having it done and some are not.  They chose their dresses (I picked the color, but their dresses are not identical) and I'm not asking for identical hair and makeup either.  I think as long as you make it optional, it's not your responsibilty to pay.  My sister, who is my MOH, is not getting her make-up done and I'm fine with that - she has 5 kids and doesn't have money for it.  But she's getting her hair done and her daughter's hair done (not an updo, but a braid or curls) and I know she'll look great!
  • I have always paid for or did my own hair and make up when I have been in weddings and I didn't think it was rude.  I want to look my best in front of the ceremony for myself and for my friend!
  • thank you ladies...thoughts + comments appreciated!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hair-upinstead-of-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d9a8c975-4d3b-4a02-863b-02e073a73e11Post:b0a2b631-2950-4f03-bfaf-9b321046cd85">Re: hair + make-up...instead of a dress???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Perhaps it varies by region or circles you travel in. In my circles, when brides have chosen for hair and makeup to be professionally done, each BM paid their own way. Never heard of a bride paying. Its no different than a BM paying for her dress or shoes. 
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    It IS different.  It's not supossed to be a requirement either.  That it was done is one of those etiquette blunders that happens until it gets corrected.
  • If you are offering the the OPTION of these services then it's fine to let them pay.

    Like "hey gals, I'm hiring a makeup artist and hair dresser for the day.  If anyone wants to use her too, she charges $X for her services.  Let me know if you are interested and I'll book a time for you."

    But you can't expect everyone to go for it unless you are footing the bill.
  • No, unless you're requiring them to have something done they can't do on their own-- but if you want to, it would be nice.
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  • If it's not a requirement, then it's FINE! Just let them know how much hair and make up each cost, then ask each girl if she would like either/both done so you can let the person/people doing it know. As long as it's not required by you (ie, you want them all in a french twist, in which case you'd have to pay), then it's fine.
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