Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Shocked

so I posted a picture of me and my bridesmaids at my bridal shower today.... I did not identify it as being from the wedding shower. Someone comments on the picture saying they hoped I had a good time. A former close friend (haven't seen or spoke to in 5+ years comments saying it looks like a shower... Hope you got good gifts. I replied yes it was and its weird to get gifts for getting married. She replies even weirder I wasn't invited.

Then sending me a PM about how hurt she was and she clearly values our history more then I do and goodye. And unfriends me.

I replied saying we are having a small wedding, I haven't seen her in over five years and didn't want to look gift grabby. I thought she would understand but I was sorry she felt the need to be so public about it and we both feel bad on my shower day and I was sorry she felt the need go unfriend me over having a small wedding,

I guess I'm not really looking for advice because clearly she is to angry to salvage this now Facebook friendship..... Just wanted to put out a seriously people???? Rant

Re: Shocked

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    This is why it's not a good idea to post on Facebook or tweet about weddings or wedding-related matters-someone out there will feel the need to put their two cents in and post spiteful and obnoxious things.
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    Yeah that's the thing I in NO way identified the picture as from the shower or called them my bridesmaids..... Only when she asked did I confirm...... She took a ticket on the crazy train.
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    I would hate to have someone I have barely any contact with behave this way over a picture. Why couldn't she just be a grown up about it?
    We are in the same boat as you and I have had smeone pitch a fit and when she didn't accept my "we can't have everyone we would like" response I got from the knot I told her I was sorry our friendship had come to this and she hasn't spoken to me since(not that we talked before!!).
    I am sorry you are dealing with this. I hope she is the only one and as far as FB goes there is no reason you shouldn't be able to share something like this.
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    sorry your friend acted a little cray cray.  I'm all for not putting wedding stuff on FB but IMO that doesn't apply at all to photos of your shower or bachelorette or wedding.  Of course you're going to post photos of these fun events - even if you didn't others would and you shouldn't feel bad it. 
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    In Response to Re:Shocked:[QUOTE]This is why it's not a good idea to post on Facebook or tweet about weddings or weddingrelated matterssomeone out there will feel the need to put their two cents in and post spiteful and obnoxious things. Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

    I don't plan on refraining from Facebook when it comes to wedding related events. If one of my friends decides to act like a nut ball like this I will be happy to eliminate them from my life. It's a good filter, I'd say.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:da5f0ad2-54d0-40aa-b7db-7ad723160f8ePost:2e1a6445-186c-462d-a2d4-321667a3c8b6">Re:Shocked</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Shocked: I don't plan on refraining from Facebook when it comes to wedding related events. If one of my friends decides to act like a nut ball like this I will be happy to eliminate them from my life. It's a good filter, I'd say.
    Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]

    The point isn't that you wouldn't be justified in dropping a friend who behaves badly; the point is that somehow Facebook, other social media, and any other kind of public discussions of anyone's wedding seem to bring out the worst in such people.  They'd behave the same way if you'd announced it on the 6 o'clock news.  So if you don't want to receive that kind of attitude from the crazy jerks of the world, it's better not to put anything that's important to you out where they can use it against you.  Either that or you have to have the world's thickest skin and not let it bother you.
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    I feel your pain.

    I just had a friend email me a response after receiving my save the date, telling me that she didn't think she'd be able to attend my wedding (in June) because her life was just too busy during that time of year. She went on to tell me that she was so lost when it came to our friendship since she never saw me or heard from me anymore (last time I hung out with her was this past July)... she just didn't know where to begin again. Basically telling me she didn't want to bother being friends anymore anyway.

    I was baffled and hurt, just as you are. The input I received from the ladies here on TK was that I was better off... and they're right. She's a nutball and it sounds like your friend is too. Move on and don't spend anytime worrying about her reactions to your life. 

    Anniversary
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    Truth. I go back and forth.... On one hand I am sad because I did have a good friendship with her but we went our separate ways but enjoyed being Facebook people. Keep in contact but not really. Then I realize what have I lost? Really..... Nothing. One the other hand..... I now have a fabulous story to tell. Glad to no I'm not the only one that has had a crazy thing like this happen.
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    In Response to Re:Shocked:[QUOTE]This is why it's not a good idea to post on Facebook or tweet about weddings or weddingrelated matterssomeone out there will feel the need to put their two cents in and post spiteful and obnoxious things. Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

    I try to keep things off FB but the simple act of me changing my relationship status from "in a relationship" to "engaged" caused some people to inquire about being invited. Some people feel that they deserve to be invited to everything in their FB friend's life.



    OP, sorry that happened to you! Some people are super cray cray! Be glad to be rid of her!
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
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    You're well within your rights to post pictures from your own bridal shower. Wtf?? If anyone has a problem with that that's their own problem. They're clearly going to have hurt feelings whether or not you post the pictures. It's not like everyone in the photos were holding up a sign saying HAHA SO AND SO WASN'T INVITED. Some people are lunatics.
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    A wedding is a big deal in people's lives.  As long as it's not overkill, I don't see the big deal in posting random stuff like "finally found the dress!" or anything that doesn't give away details.  Like stage said, you should be worried about the feelings of those who DON'T speak up, not those who do.

    There was a girl I was friends with in HS (close friends) but after the fact we rarely talked.  About 3 years ago she got married and I was her photographer.  After I gave her the photos, I heard NOTHING from her since (not even a congrats when we got engaged).  She was on the original invite list but before we sent out STDs we had to make some cuts and because she and I hadn't talked in like two years, she was cut.  Someone had written on my wall a couple weeks before the wedding that they couldn't wait for it.  This girl then wrote a snappy comment about not being invited.  I just deleted the comment and moved on.  Two days before the wedding she sent me a novel of a FB message telling me what a horrible friend I was and that she did SO much for me in HS, therefore I pretty much owed her an invite.  I wrote back that I apprecitaed the friendship we had in HS but that we had drifted apart and we couldn't invite everyone we wanted to, but that I'd be happy to catch up next time she was in town.  She freaked out some more and sent me some more natsy messages.  I then deleted (and blocked) her because I knew she wasn't going to drop it and I really didn't want to deal with it 48 hours before I got married. 
    People suck, but that's what makes them rude, not you.
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