Wedding Etiquette Forum

matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?

Hello ladies.  I have a small issue here. When I first got engaged and asked my girls to be in my bridal party by BFF (long time friend) was married, so I asked her to be my matron of honor.  My other BFF (old college roommate) I asked to be my made of honor.  Now Bff #1 has some slight jealousy issues with Bff #2 although I don't really understand why.  She's been this way for years though.  I thought that with my choices for their positions it would make them both feel special yet limit the competative aspect. My problem is now my Matron of Honor, BFF #1, is getting a divorce. So, what title does that leave her with? Does that mean now she's just a bridesmaid?  Does it even matter?  I'm confused.  Please help.
Pregnancy Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic IAmPregnant Ticker

Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?

  • You can have two maids of honor. Or just have two bridesmaids.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • edited May 2011
    you can have two maids of honor. i am having 3!! but i wouldn't say anything about the title change to your friend getting divorced. if you print it in the programs, just do it without saying so. you are not taking away her honor, so it doesn't change who she is to you in the wedding. 

    edit: if your friend brings it up, obviously you can talk about it but i don't think that you should be like "hey, cause of your divorce you're just my maid of honor now"
    White Knot Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Two maids of honor. "Demoting" her to being a bridesmaid because she's getting a divorce is adding insult to injury, don't you think?
  • I might ask her if she would prefer to be called a "maid" or "matron" of honor. You can have two maid's.
  • I thought you couldn't be a maid of honor after you were married.  Every divorced woman I've ever known who has been an honor attendant has still gone by the title of "matron of honor."
  • She's still a matron of honor -- once you've been married, you don't revert back to "maid." Or you could call them both "honor attendant" if you want.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor-getting-divorcewhat-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:da601e3f-cc2d-48ae-8726-3b8b33da8368Post:e3705caf-f0f3-45fe-986c-fbec64367821">Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought you couldn't be a maid of honor after you were married.  Every divorced woman I've ever known who has been an honor attendant has still gone by the title of "matron of honor."
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

    Who is going to check on this? The wedding police?  Seriously, ask her if she'd rather be listed as Maid or Matron and do whatever makes her happy.
  • Why do you have to demote her?  I am having two MOHs.  I agree with PP about adding insult to injury.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor-getting-divorcewhat-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:da601e3f-cc2d-48ae-8726-3b8b33da8368Post:f7dd1fc6-50a4-4e24-b3da-8af9d2f6e967">Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now? : Who is going to check on this? The wedding police?  Seriously, ask her if she'd rather be listed as Maid or Matron and do whatever makes her happy.
    Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

    This. It might be true, but I don't like that once you've been married and divorced you are a "matron" forever.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Step 1 be a supportive friend.  Step 2 have 2 maids of honor. 

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I'm not trying to demote her.  I'm trying to keep from hurting her feelings but I would like to know how to word this on the programs and such. She knows that I still love her just as much as I did when she was a "Mrs."  
    I do like the "honor attendant" suggestion.    I think I'm just going to bite the bullet and talk to her about it to see what she wants to be called.   Thanks ladies!
    Pregnancy Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic IAmPregnant Ticker
  • OP- Don't worry about talking with her about this. She'll understand. I had a similar situation. My MOH filed for divorce while we were planning our wedding, and the divorce was going to be final a few weeks after our wedding. I finally had to break down and ask her what name she wanted me to use in the programs (her married or maiden, which she was going back to after the divorce). She totally understood why I was asking, and thought it was funny that I felt weird bringing it up. Just talk to her, she'll help you figure it out. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor-getting-divorcewhat-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:da601e3f-cc2d-48ae-8726-3b8b33da8368Post:f7dd1fc6-50a4-4e24-b3da-8af9d2f6e967">Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now? : Who is going to check on this? The wedding police?  Seriously, ask her if she'd rather be listed as Maid or Matron and do whatever makes her happy.
    Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

    <div>I didn't say it was the only way to do it.  I said I thought that's how it was supposed to be because that's the only way I've ever seen it.</div><div>
    </div><div>OP, ask your friend what she would prefer.  </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor-getting-divorcewhat-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:da601e3f-cc2d-48ae-8726-3b8b33da8368Post:d86b0178-5a0c-49fa-9e4f-c080dbaa44f7">Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: matron of honor getting a divorce...what now? : I didn't say it was the only way to do it.  I said I thought that's how it was supposed to be because that's the only way I've ever seen it. OP, ask your friend what she would prefer.  
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, I didn't mean to be snarky.  I just think that this is one of those little detail things that honestly doesn't really matter.  I think taking her feelings into account is more important than sticking with the "traditional" title.
  • titles are stupid.
    they are both friends and if they love you they wont care who is maid matron or whatever.
    perviously known as wannabecrunchymama
  • Does it matter if she is married or not? I thought this person was your best friend? i didn't think there were stipulations?!! well i say leave her be.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image Future Mrs.Hellem
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor-getting-divorcewhat-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:da601e3f-cc2d-48ae-8726-3b8b33da8368Post:d5157c13-6412-43c2-b9b1-1c0076472284">matron of honor getting a divorce...what now?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello ladies.  I have a small issue here. When I first got engaged and asked my girls to be in my bridal party by BFF (long time friend) was married, so I asked her to be my matron of honor.  My other BFF (old college roommate) I asked to be my made of honor.  Now Bff #1 has some slight jealousy issues with Bff #2 although I don't really understand why.  She's been this way for years though.  I thought that with my choices for their positions it would make them both feel special yet limit the competative aspect. My problem is now my Matron of Honor, BFF #1, is getting a divorce. So, what title does that leave her with? Does that mean now she's just a bridesmaid?  Does it even matter?  I'm confused.  Please help.
    Posted by lisarene77[/QUOTE]

    <div>Um she can still be a MOH - if she is already divorced when you do the programs (*if* you are doing programs) then put "maid" and if she isn't, put "matron."</div><div>
    </div><div>None of your guests are going to care anyway.</div>
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards