When people don't send you addresses...

LuluP82

Despite persistent requests. What do you do? Just take them off the list and assume they don't want to come? We're talking numerous follow-ups (email and phone) over a 4 week period here.

strlzfan11

Do you know anyone who might have it?  Have you tried Yahoo people search?

quotequeen

Yep.  I have a "friend" who did this to me.  I mentioned my wedding to her a while ago, and she seemed interested in coming, but since then I asked her for her address about 5 times and she never responded.  Oh well!  Nothing more I can do.

kellyb1487

After a few follow ups and you still haven't heard anything, then to bad-so sad no invite for them!

xyrius

Really depends on who it is, and their relationship to you, but for friends/acquaintances I think that I would give up as well. 

If you think it's possible that you have outdated info (they may have moved/changed e-mails, etc.) I agree with pp to ask someone you know in common.  If the e-mail/phone hasn't changed than I would take it as a hint that they don't want to come.

twilight.rose

I would just remove them if they haven't responded after numerous attempts to get in touch.

PirateintheSky

I plan on sending e-invites to people I don't know the addresses of.  There is one friend in particular I know will be receiving one because he is planning a backpacking trip through all of March, which is the month before the month of wedding.  I understand its not a preferred measure, but I would hate for someone I want there to not come just because they are forgetful about sending their address.

EDIT--- I just read other responses, and if truly they aren't answering at all to your replies, then yes drop them.  Its not like you can actually get ahold of them anyway.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If your parents don't have it, try whitepages.com. If that doesn't work, they're SOL with getting an invite, I guess.

[Deleted User]

whitepages.com

I used it a lot even for some family. For family that we only had phone numbers for or cousins who have moved out of their parents homes, it was our best bet because for the most part it allowed us to get this info with out having an hour long conversation with each person.

quotequeen

In my case, I happen to know that my "friend" has moved twice since the address listed for her on whitepages.com.  I even know the intersection where she lives now because she posted it on facebook.  But I don't know what building or the apartment number.

LuluP82

They are more acquaitances, I guess. Boy insisted in inviting them since he went to his wedding a few years ago (before we met, and we've been together 4 years). We've had dinner with them exactly 3 times in the 4 years we've been together, so I was totally cool with not inviting them, but he thought that would be rude. They'd have to travel for us though, and I can totally see why they wouldn't want to come (that said, Boy travelled to theirs, too. But I feel like they were probably better friends then).

Anyway...just wanted to check what people on here thought, since I can't decide if part of the reason I want to scratch them off is that I didn't think we needed to invite them in the first place!

xyrius

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-dont-send-addresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dade5634-4b3c-4ab0-ac93-b8983913a2a1Post:f1bcd76c-f77a-43cc-8a99-e4e67fda0c81">Re: When people don't send you addresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]They are more acquaitances, I guess. Boy insisted in inviting them since he went to his wedding a few years ago (before we met, and we've been together 4 years). We've had dinner with them exactly 3 times in the 4 years we've been together, <strong>so I was totally cool with not inviting them</strong>,<strong> but he thought that would be rude</strong>. They'd have to travel for us though, and I can totally see why they wouldn't want to come (that said, Boy travelled to theirs, too. But I feel like they were probably better friends then). Anyway...just wanted to check what people on here thought, since I can't decide if part of the reason I want to scratch them off is that I didn't think we needed to invite them in the first place!
Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]

In that case I would definitely cross them off.  You aren't obligated to invite them if they invited you to theirs.  If that'st he only reason to invite them, I would give that spot to someone else.

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-dont-send-addresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dade5634-4b3c-4ab0-ac93-b8983913a2a1Post:c5cafda4-29ea-414b-b653-ef2f5102e45e">Re: When people don't send you addresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When people don't send you addresses... : In that case I would definitely cross them off.  You aren't obligated to invite them if they invited you to theirs.  If that'st he only reason to invite them, I would give that spot to someone else.
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

Yup, that was my argument all along...but I wasn't going to have a fight over people who we figured probably wouldn't come anyway. I sent one more email. Let's see what happens.

MairePoppy

I have been able to find addresses on whitepages.com.
If you have already left messages for the people and they don't answer, you can cross them off your list. If you do manage to send them an invitation, plan on chasing them down for a response.

debjwes

We had quite a few people on our list that we could not get addresses even after being persistent. Since we lived 800 miles from  everyone, we sent extra invites and had our family members just hand them their invites. These were people that MIL insisted be invited. 

I know more than likely it is  bad etiquette but it did happen.

marisah83

If you can't find the addresses online, and they continue to ignore your calls, I would just cross them off the list.  I bet you would have trouble getting RSVPs from them later anyway.

rbtrumpet

if they don't give you an address after 3-4 times of asking (phone, in person, e-mail - yes, I did all 3 to one person :-p), then honestly they're probably not that interested in coming.

Just cross them off your list.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-dont-send-addresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dade5634-4b3c-4ab0-ac93-b8983913a2a1Post:4931510d-4b08-4dc5-b965-2493b35784d8">Re: When people don't send you addresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]I plan on sending e-invites to people I don't know the addresses of.  There is one friend in particular I know will be receiving one because he is planning a backpacking trip through all of March, which is the month before the month of wedding.  I understand its not a preferred measure, but I would hate for someone I want there to not come just because they are forgetful about sending their address. EDIT--- I just read other responses, and if truly they aren't answering at all to your replies, then yes drop them.  Its not like you can actually get ahold of them anyway.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

Do people not rent PO Boxes when they leave for months? What happens to his other mail? He must have a forwarding address.

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-dont-send-addresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dade5634-4b3c-4ab0-ac93-b8983913a2a1Post:3f6910b4-11c9-4b6c-a9a4-11e74addb67d">Re: When people don't send you addresses...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When people don't send you addresses... : Do people not rent PO Boxes when they leave for months? What happens to his other mail? He must have a forwarding address.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Yeah, but this guy didn't move away for a month, he's constantly traveling for a month.  When my friend did the Appalachian Trail, there were post office type places along the trail that would hold packages for hikers, but I wouldn't rely on them for something like this.

If it were me I would make sure he knew the location and other info well before he went on the trip, and send the letter to his parents or his 'normal' mail as a formality.

ETA: Actually since the wedding is so far off, I would treat this guy like an international guest and send his invite out well in advance so he can make his accomodations and other arrangements before he leaves.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I'm dealing with this right now too OP - but I will try whitepages.com before giving up on them.

Honestly - if they don't reply after several attempts at contacting them - they don't want to come.  At least not enough to want to make sure that they get invited.  If they bring something up to you about it after the wedding's over, and why didn't they get an invite?  "Well, you didn't tell me where to send it."