Who Goes Dress Shopping?

mrandmrsrobert

Hi guys! I'm just curious --- who all is supposed to go dress shopping? My FI and I'd like for him to come with me --- he will be there the 1st time we go when I'll probably try on a million dresses. He has great taste and I'd like him to see some choices so I know what he likes too! Anyway, my maternal grandmother who is very overbearing and controlling of prices wants to go and my FMIL has mentioned in the past when its come up that she would go. Well.... I'd really kind of like it to be just my mom, FI, and my MOH.....

Do you think it would be bad for it to be just my mom, FI, and MOH the first time and then once we narrow it down to invite the others? The thing that makes me most nervous is because FMIL is a bean pole (love the woman like she was my own mom) but I'm a size 14/16 and she's tiny tiny.... she has never come out and said I'm fat.... but has made quiet comments and I'd love to just feel beautiful without the hassel or nerves of what she's going to think or say. So, with that being said... who goes dress shopping?

Thanks ladies!

hz80408

Agreed with PP.  I brought my mom, sis(MOH) and best friend.  Both DH and I agreed we didn't want him to come (he would have been bored out of his mind)

janinekk

I don't think there's a rule of who should/shouldn't be there. Definitely take people that will make you feel good about yourself while still being honest. I went alone, due to logistics, but would've wanted my mom and MOH there for a second opinion. =O)

jmorford

i took my mom and grandmother, and we chose a dress and bought it.
i showed everyone after, and if they didn't like it, they haven't told me. it's my dress and my decision.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

The first (and only) time I went it was just with my mom. She lives in another state and was visiting, so I knew it was the only time she could go with me. If I had gone back, I probably would have invited both my BMs (so 2 people). As it was, the 3 of us went to try on BM dresses for them.

The rule I've always heard is the less people, the better. Ever watch SYTTD? See how well it works out when the bride has 8 people with her. I think your FI and mom would be perfect. But break it gently to FMIL and try to include her in something else - maybe venue tours or cake tasting.

dancerbrat531

I went with my mom and sister,who is also my MOH. If I were closer to my grandmother, I would have invited her. And my FMIL did come the second time to see the dress that I had picked. I second the thoughts of hz80408 about your FI maybe being bored to tears. My fiance would also have been bored to death, but I didn't want him there anyway. But it is really entirely up to you who you ask to come! 

Wiscisbliss

You can and should ask only who you want to be there and feel comfortable with. 

I went with my Mom and Grandma.  We went once. 

tenofcups4me

You can go with whoever you want. The first time I got married, I went with my mom and dad. I trust both their opinions. No way would I have wanted to be with a group of people and multiple differing opinions.

thevegetariana

I took my mother, my FMIL and my MOH.  Although I would have enjoyed it more if it was only my mom and MOH, I think it really meant alot to my FMIL that she was included. 2-3 people was just right for me. 

Although I didn't really expect to find a dress the first time I went shopping, I did.  And before I even had the dang thing zippered I was crying.  There was no question about it being the dress.  You may not be a cryer so it may not be an issue... but in case you are, are you okay with your fiance knowing which dress you fell in love with? 

opalsky007

Ouch, I wouldn't want the negativity of either the MIL or the grandmother being there.

Maybe say you'd like to keep it small, but that you'll take some photos to show them later? Getting feedback later will be less stressful than having your MIL judge your appearance while trying stuff on, and your grandma won't be able to check price tags and get judgmental.

Beazilla

I didn't vote because nothing matched.

Take along whoever you want. If your FI wants to go and you welcome his input, by all means take him along. My FI gave me his input on things he did or didn't like when I looked at dresses online or magazines at home, but didn't go  shopping with me. And it is nice, IMO, to get some input from the groom, even if he doesn't want to see the actual dress.

If you want it to be just your FI, mom, and MOH, then that's who you should take along. You can take along other people then or later if you want to or just send them pictures of you in possible dresses to get their opinions. If you're afraid of strongly negative comments from certain people that want to be involved in the dress hunt, pictures of you in the dresses or just pictures of the dresses, may be the best way to go with them.

mica178

I went with my mother and my two MOHs.  If MIL lived nearby, I might have invited her too because she has always wanted to go wedding dress shopping (so far only her sons have married, so she's never involved in dress shopping).

noodle_oo

Take who you want.  There is no rule, though if your FMIL wants to come, I might invite her just to not offend her (if you get along).  I went shopping *many* times and took different people to different appointments, but it was mostly just my MOH because my family lives out of town.

Karen's MOH

At least the first few times, I would only take people who you are really comfortable with and whose honest opinions you want. For me, that was my sister/MOH, and my mom. Since it sounds like your grandmother and FMIL really want to come, in your case I would consider going with your mom and MOH, picking out your favorites, and then bring them back to help you decide. Or invite them to a fitting. Also, keep in mine in some stores you pretty much change right in front of everyone, which might be awkward!

My FMIL loves across the country from me, so I just emailed her a picture of the dress after I bought it, but I was able to schedule my first fitting for a time she was here, which I think did mean a lot to her. She has 3 sons, so she'll never get to be mother of the bride.

bellebride116

I took just my mom and then another time my mom and best friend came. For my final fitting my dad came too so he could see . You can bring whoever you want, but I agree with pps, don't bring too many!

firsttimersluck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_goes-dress-shopping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dae97696-0792-4fea-95a9-55fa64a1eda9Post:3cbd1b3c-bb64-4d88-b10e-c6c86e976175">Re: Who Goes Dress Shopping?</a>:
[QUOTE]You can ask anyone you'd like to come along. I'd just caution you to not bring too many people as it can get overwhelming with all the opinions being tossed at you with each dress.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Agreed.
My mom is out of state so I went with my Fi the first time, then my FI, Aunt, and Grandma the second time. Three people was nice because you never have a split opinion since it's always 2 against 1 haha! Invite who you want and who you know WANTS to go.

SparrowSong

Whoever wants to. I think it was just me and my sister, MOH. Mom came along for a second look once choices were narrowed down.

I really don't think having 3-4+ people is a good idea. Too many cooks in the kitchen. Take one or two people along who understand your style and taste or who have opinions you would appreciate. That's all that is necessary.

allyson+williams

I don't think there are hard and fast rules, but I would recommend bringing as few people as possible.  A lot of salons aren't that big, and it'll be overwhelming.  I would DEFINITELY not bring anyone who is overbearing or opinionated...sorry, Grandma  

I went to a bridal salon where there was also a customer who had brought nine other people with her.  They claimed every chair in the place and refused to give up any of them to my 38-weeks pregnant SIL or another woman who had had surgery and was on crutches (the manager herslef asked and they still said no).  Clearly these people were just outliers of rudeness, but it's not fair if your entourage detracts from the experience of other customers.

hbatchel2

When I called a place to make an appointment, they told me that I was only allowed to bring 3 people with me because they didn't cave the space for large groups. I don't know how common that is, but it may be somehing worth looking into if you plan to shop at smaller stores.

jdrose5

I would take only who you want and how you feel comfortable with.  Some people want everyone included.  If I had my way it would be my MOH and my step-mom.  Since step-mom lives in Alaska and I am in Indiana that is not likely but that would be my ideal.   She is near by cause her mom is in a nursing home and she is staying with her family in WI.  So she is going to TRY to make it down for a few days to visit.  If she does, I want to take her to look at dresses with me.

susie829

i took my mom and my sister(MOH) and that's it. i didn't want my FMIL there so i just didn't mention it until after i had found my dress. i took pictures of me in it and showed it to her. she didn't seem upset that she wasn't invited.
take whoever you want and are comfortable with. there's no need to have people there just because their feelings might get hurt if you don't invite them. they'll get over it. it's a day to have fun so go have fun!

hcontreras3

You should bring whoever you want to be there.

I had my mom, FMIL, MOH (sister), FSIL (bridesmaid) and my other 3 of my other four bridesmaids. I know they really all wanted to be there, but honestly its a lot of people to have at a fitting since there will likely be other brides there with their crew (space for seating, etc can be limited). I was lucky that I didn't have a tough crowd.

terrichael

I went with just my mom the first day. It was special to share that with just her. The next day, I invited all four of my bridesmaids and I showed them the top contenders. It was a great experience for us all and the best part is that the winning dress was a unanimous choice! Have fun and do it the way that will make the best memories for you

Lisa50

I didn't see a place to vote for what you and FI want ... the two of you going shopping.  That's my vote.  Have fun!

EmmyBelle

First time I went my FI, BM, and MOH went with me.  When I went the second time to make my final decision my MOH, FMIL, Mom, and a couple of really close friends went with me.

smokeybailey

When I went it was me, my sister (MOH), my mom and one of my BMs.  When my sister went shopping it was me, my mom, 2 of my besties and her hair stylist.  We were totally expecting something different.  We had wine and cheese.  Boy were we disappointed.

Oh, she bought the second dress she tried on.  I bought the 3rd or 4th.  We were both done in an hour.  It doesn't matter the quantity of people; what matters is that you are all on the same page.