Hi,
My FH and I are about 4 months away from the wedding, and have just purchased invites but have not yet written them out. Over the holidays, we created a wedding website that we sent out as our save the date and it contained all the info about us and the wedding.
Recently the FFIL has sent out his own email to a few new people and included our website saying " and here is how you are invited to the wedding". Each time he's already sent the people an email, then told us, not asked, a day or two later. The people he has invited are extensions of friends of older family members that are not around for other events and my FH has only ever spent maybe 1 event meeting them in his childhood. I know his dad is just doing this to try and show off to anyone and everyone he can think of what "he" has produced etc. It's not his wedding! FH has a hard time standing up to his dad because he is afraid of hurting his feelings, but I know if we let this fly, its going to open us up to years and years of him trying to take over our lives.
Is it completely jerky if I speak to FFIL directly and point out that it is our choice to have a smaller more intimate wedding, and its not our personality or style to make a big fanfare and invite the whole world? He has 4 other kids to do this with. How do I make him understand he has to back off, we've conceded to him on a bunch of other issues already.