The guest list

MrsL2014

So for my wedding we are just trying to get a guest list put together and we have a max of 200 guest. Because my fiance and I have very large families we can only have up to our great aunts and uncles, no second cousins unless they are younger than 18.

But we both have a few first cousins who are in their 20's and 30's. Is there a rule for letting them bring a guest? I mean of course our wedding is 2 years down the road and if we feel they are in a serious relationship then they can have a guest, but is it okay to plan for right now not letting them have a guest with them?

If numbers werent already tight i wouldnt worry about it, but like I said 200 is our max and we are already pushing 180 with out having any of our friends and or close church friends.


EDIT: Also, if cousins are married their whole family is welcomed. Our family all knows eachother. But I also have 30 first cousins, age range from 11months-32 yrs old. So lots and lots of family

andrea2473

+1's are nice if you can allow for them.    Inviting significant others is a must.  I also think a +1 for OOT guests is a must as well.  Or guests who might not know anyone else.  Just don't leave out SO's or leave someone hanging in the wind so to speak. 

ETA: Yes, plan on them having a guest.  That way you won't go over your numbers  in the event that they are in a relationship that time. 

Edited again for grammar failure.

JaxInBlue

Ditto PP.  Significant others - no matter how long the relationship - must be invited as a social unit.  If you are two years out, it will probably be easier to plan for all of your currently single guests to bring someone. 

Those who are truly single when your invitations go out do not need to be invited with a guest, but even then I still recommend a cushion. I missed SOs of two cousins despite asking/Facebook research who needed to be added in.

SB1512

You are at 180 guests without having any of your or FI's friends on the list?  Yes I would plan on all the adult family members having a guest since the wedding is 2yrs away, singles may be in relationships by the time the wedding rolls around.  If you want to make room for friends (and their SO's) to make the guest list, you may have to make cuts to family.  I know you said both you and FI come from large families, but are you close to everyone that is currently on the guestlist?  I mean if you are OK potentially having a weddng that is only family and no friends (because it sounds like this might happen) then that's great, but if you want to be able to invite friends you might want to look and see where you can make cuts on the guest list.

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_the-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dafe55ea-0a70-402a-98a9-c06f5529711fPost:c7aa9492-76c1-451c-bb15-08c39d1ecb28">Re: The guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]You are at 180 guests without having any of your or FI's friends on the list?  Yes I would plan on all the adult family members having a guest since the wedding is 2yrs away, singles may be in relationships by the time the wedding rolls around.  If you want to make room for friends (and their SO's) to make the guest list, you may have to make cuts to family.  I know you said both you and FI come from large families, but are you close to everyone that is currently on the guestlist?  I mean if you are OK potentially having a weddng that is only family and no friends (because it sounds like this might happen) then that's great, but if you want to be able to invite friends you might want to look and see where you can make cuts on the guest list.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

There is some family I would love to not invite and that would cut 11 people out from just one family, but its kind of hard to not invite them since it is my uncles family, and I dont need the drama in the family. :P We are looking at a few options because if we do take the budget buffet for our reception the meals would go to $14 a person instead of $20 so then we could have extra guest too.

MandyLovesMarc

Personally, I would cut an uncle's family that I'm not close to.  We're paying for our wedding.  I'm actually not inviting several people in our families, because 1...I'm not close to that person or 2...because I don't need the extra drama. 

Will people complain...sure...but it's our day, and honestly, I don't need people there who aren't loved & cherished. 

If you have 180 already, and can only have 200, i would definitely consider cutting some of those members/distant cousins.  That's just me though.

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_the-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dafe55ea-0a70-402a-98a9-c06f5529711fPost:98b2a061-879d-4e66-8b1a-17897b1654ee">Re: The guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I would cut an uncle's family that I'm not close to.  We're paying for our wedding.  I'm actually not inviting several people in our families, because 1...I'm not close to that person or 2...because I don't need the extra drama.  Will people complain...sure...but it's our day, and honestly, I don't need people there who aren't loved & cherished.  If you have 180 already, and can only have 200, i would definitely consider cutting some of those members/distant cousins.  That's just me though.
Posted by MandyLovesMarc[/QUOTE]

That is kind of how I would like it, but they are a bit crazy (drugs) and go to all the family get togethers so the last thing I would want is them showing up for christmas with a gun. :/