Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions


I have a problem with the unity part of the ceremony. I definitely want it included but I come from a disfunctional family and my mother refuses to light the unity candle (and also my wedding is outisde so it will get blown out anyways) and I am not too excited about the unity sand idea either. Is there any other thing that we could combine in place of a candle or sand?

Re: Unity......?

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    You've said that you definitely want it included, but just a suggestion:  think of your whole wedding as a unity ceremony, because that's what it is.My DD was married in July in an outdoor wedding, and they didn't have any "unity" thing, (other than saying their vows to each other, exchanging rings, kissing at the end, being introduced as Trix and Wolfgang "*lastname*).  No one really missed it at all.Other than that:  some people have a wine thing where they mix two kinds of wine, some people plant a tree, some people have a dirt thing (dirt from childhood homes).  Handfastings are done.I just googled unity ceremonies in weddings and came up with this page:, don't know how to make it clicky)GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    We're including the rose ceremony - basically, you and your dh exchange a red rose as your first gift to each other. Then you're supposed to pick a spot in your home to leave a vase and put a rose in it every year as a recommitment to your marriage. Not necessarily a "unity" thing but very meaningful to us.
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    Unity cocktail.  We finally found the perfect glass for it.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    You can do a unity candle without the mothers lighting the two candles. Ours were pre-lit before the ceremony. You can also skip it since the whole ceremony does a good job of conveying the unity idea :-)
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    'unity part of the ceremony'?  huh?  you don't have to do a candle, or sand, or anything.  vows will suffice for the unity.
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    We didn't have any special unity candle, sand, anything. . . We had two readings, a song sung by two family members, exchanged vows, exchanged rings, and we went on our merry way.
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    What about a Hand ceremony instead?
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    we did a tree ceremony.
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    You and your fiancee can light the candles yourselves
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    I agree with skipping it then. We come from complicated families on both sides and it just got too complicated. The ceremony and exchange of rings are all about unity so we focused on that part of the ceremony and made the wording tailored to fit to us, including our vows.
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    We're doing the wine ceremony I like it more because it focuses on just us and our marriage
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    My cousin combined two different vases of water into a beautiful vase. One was dyed with yellow food coloring, and the other was red food coloring water. When they mixed, they created orange. Orange was her main wedding color! It was really cute!
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    To hvnlydevil:  I saw your posts on a different thread.  Would you be able to email whatever was read for your unity tree ceremony?  Thank you sooooo much in advance, I appreciate it!My email:
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    jmg110683-just sent you an email with the wording. Hope it helps!
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    Can I also get the wording for the tree ceremony? Thanks!
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