Wedding Etiquette Forum

Just a short vent - Invitations

So a "friend" of mine got married this past Saturday and I'm a little frustrated with a few things.


 1. I never received a formal invitation but she provided the date and time for the ceremony a few months ago when we saw each other at our marriage preparation classes. (We got married at the same church a month ago). She told me she had a VERY tight budget and wouldn't be printing any. I get to the church and saw that a few people had formal ones.

2.  she told me the reception would be a quick lunch at her house, so after the pictures at the church, I ask her mom if they were doing off site pictures and what time they'd be home and she looks at me confused and says "oh no, it's not at our house, it's a reception hall down the street"

 

After I saw/heard this, I just left, I felt as if I wasn't good enough to celebrate with them. She did invite me via FB but I wasn't given the final details. I then felt guilty because I could tell everything was so unorganized, she had sponsors so she had never met her vendors before the wedding, everyone was scrambling and nobody was providing any help at all. I thought I would’ve been able to help but my H declined the reception “invitation”.

I told my H that she was probably upset that I didn’t want to buy her invitations for her so she didn’t send us one.  In her family, they are used to having “Sponsors” (padrinos) for everything, e.g. drinks, hall, food, band, photographer, etc.

 

She and I have been friends for over 17 years so I’m sure I’ll get over it but it’ll take a little more time…..

 

WWYD?

Re: Just a short vent - Invitations

  • Yes. Sponsors as in her family and friends pay for the wedding and reception. I'm not sure if it's a cultural thing but her family has done this for all major events. (weddings, sweet 16's). I sent her a formal invitation to our wedding and we paid for ours ourselves. IDK, i just thought i was wrong for not attending the reception.

    I'll get over it but I'll have to have a discussion with her of some sort. Just so she knows it was rude.

    Thank you. :)
  • I would not have attended the reception either for the very reasons you mentioned, I would not be entirely sure that I was supposed to go. Agree with pp, take some time to be upset, I would be too.
  • Without a proper invitation I would not have attended the wedding.  If you can't afford to print on cardstock at home the very least you can do is make invitations from copy paper.  It's better than nothing and more respected than a FB invite.

    Heck, I'm still irritated that both the baby showers I have been invited this week and next week has been by facebook and text.  Doesn't anybody send a proper invitation anymore?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-a-short-vent-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dba12467-50ac-4a8c-a9bd-0bc208feb218Post:7e421b91-aed7-4102-8c0c-59819da8899e">Re: Just a short vent - Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just a short vent - Invitations : I can see this going over well. Or not. At all.  If this is what her family does, then so be it.  Rude, yes.  What what is telling her that going to accomplish?
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
    yeah i can see that now that i got it out. I guess i'll just let it go. I think not attending sent the message.
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