Announcement/Save-the-Date/Invitation Etiquette Question--Please Help!

jdalke88

Hey Everyone!

So, here is my dilemma--I have a limited number of people I can invite to my wedding and most of my friends and family understand this and realize they may not be invited to the wedding.  With that being said, -I- know that both my and my fiance's family are traditional and would still like to receive some sort of printed wedding annoucement/save-the-date with pertinent information about the wedding and registry information.  And our personal friends who will be unable to attend would like to receive some an electronic equivalent of the printed info we will send to our respective families.  What sort of wording would I use and what kind of printed item would I send?  I know you are -supposed- to send invitations to everyone that gets a save-the-date, so I'm trying to stay away from those.  Any help would be appreciated!

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_announcementsave-dateinvitation-etiquette-question-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dcb14e5e-a330-4469-8419-15e5b700add1Post:406a2cef-f657-4f91-9ed2-68bdd5d2c28d">Announcement/Save-the-Date/Invitation Etiquette Question--Please Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Everyone! So, here is my dilemma--I have a limited number of people I can invite to my wedding and most of my friends and family understand this and realize they may not be invited to the wedding.  With that being said, -I- know that both my and my fiance's family are traditional and would still like to receive some sort of printed wedding annoucement/save-the-date with pertinent information about the wedding and registry information.  And our personal friends who will be unable to attend would like to receive some an electronic equivalent of the printed info we will send to our respective families.  What sort of wording would I use and what kind of printed item would I send?  I know you are -supposed- to send invitations to everyone that gets a save-the-date, so I'm trying to stay away from those.  Any help would be appreciated!
Posted by jdalke88[/QUOTE]
Don't send save-the-dates to people unless you do, in fact, wish that they make a date available to attend your wedding. Why would they save a date for a party they're not invited to? That sounds silly, right? It is.

If you're going to send announcements, then you put them in the mail  (or email, as the case is) the day of the wedding or very shortly after. Send invitations to people you want to come. Send announcements to people you want to know about it. Don't include registry information in either one.

Brandiewine11

You are correct. If you send STD that means an invite. There really is no polite way to send your gift info, etc before the wedding to those that aren't invited. It looks gift grabby as in "you're not important enough to come to my wedding, but give me a present anyway." The only thing you can do is the send annoucements AFTER the wedding (do not include registry info). Those family members that are not invited and still want to get a gift can ask your parents, etc for info or search online for registry info. Hope that helps.

jdalke88

So far the responses have helped, and I understand not putting gift info in announcements or invites--I know most people get that information from the couple's parents.  But, there are people I know whose only point of contact are myself or the groom (they don't know my parents, maid of honor, etc) and they know that they won't get a wedding invite (for any number of reasons) but still have requested wedding and registry information.  What do I do in this situation?

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_announcementsave-dateinvitation-etiquette-question-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dcb14e5e-a330-4469-8419-15e5b700add1Post:6ff132b1-6ff6-4e9e-bb7d-04199bee2b7e">Re: Announcement/Save-the-Date/Invitation Etiquette Question--Please Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]So far the responses have helped, and I understand not putting gift info in announcements or invites--I know most people get that information from the couple's parents.  But, there are people I know whose only point of contact are myself or the groom (they don't know my parents, maid of honor, etc) and they know that they won't get a wedding invite (for any number of reasons) but still have requested wedding and registry information.  What do I do in this situation?
Posted by jdalke88[/QUOTE]
Well, you tell them the date of your wedding and where you're registered and leave it at that.

Brandiewine11

Yup, just tell them verbally. Or they can search online and find it.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_announcementsave-dateinvitation-etiquette-question-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dcb14e5e-a330-4469-8419-15e5b700add1Post:6ff132b1-6ff6-4e9e-bb7d-04199bee2b7e">Re: Announcement/Save-the-Date/Invitation Etiquette Question--Please Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]So far the responses have helped, and I understand not putting gift info in announcements or invites--I know most people get that information from the couple's parents.  But, there are people I know whose only point of contact are myself or the groom (they don't know my parents, maid of honor, etc) and they know that they won't get a wedding invite (for any number of reasons) but still have requested wedding and registry information.  What do I do in this situation?
Posted by jdalke88[/QUOTE]

<div>If they are directly asking you, say "we're getting married on June 5, but with our families, we probably won't be able to invite many friends.  We've registered at Macy's."  </div><div>
</div><div>But really, if people want to know, they'll find it.  They can ask you, google it, or ask at the stores where everyone registers.  They don't need to ask your parents, and you certainly don't need to send them the info.  </div>