Out-of-towners, advice?

tkayphoto

Newly engaged and planning our wedding in either MD (rural + close to my grandparents home) or in Long Island, NY (close to my fiancee's fam). The problem is we recently moved to NC. Many of our friends are in Florida and will be asked to travel. 

We are keeping the wedding small, 30 people tops, but how can I make our wedding as convenient as possible for my traveling guests?

-How to reserve a block of hotel room? What to expect as far as price goes (do they dscount considerably, etc)?

-Best day of the week for a wedding where the majority of guests will have to travel (Saturday? That way guests can arrive Friday and leave Sunday after the wedding)?
-Are we responsible for paying for their hotel rooms?

An idea I had was to put together welcome totes for each hotel room including a printed list of contact numbers, itinerary and addresses for each event, reccommendations on food + entertainment in the area, and something small for each guest from the area as a welcome gift.

I'd rather not invite all out of towners to the rehearsal (since it's such a small wedding, that would be more than half of our guest list, lol).

After the wedding, I'm planning on hosting a Thank You Brunch for my out-of-towners with small goodie bag of travel food for the road + travel coffee mugs with personalized cardboard coffee sleeves as a memento.

All that aside, is it even reasonable to think that our guests would travel all that way for a wedding? Feeling guilty even asking!

Thank you for your help! Any advice would be appreciated, Tiff

Cortney1982

To reserve a block of hotel rooms, call the hotel.  I do not know if they discount considerably, I'm sure you can ask at least for the AAA members rate.  If the reserved rooms do not get booked, it's my understanding you are liable to pay if your guests decide not to book those rooms.  I am not blocking anything.  I am having my guets decide where they want to stay.

As for the welcome totes, that is very nice of you.  I am not sure why an itinerary is needed if the invites have that information on them.

I do not think the brunch is necessary.  The thank you is the reception.  I think the goodie bag on top of the welcome tote is over the top and too much baggage for your traveling guets.

It is reasonable to think the guets would travel if they care about you and can afford the trip.  Definitely don't feel guilty about asking them.  It is up to the guests to decide whether they can attend.

sarabear23

I had a a lot of guests travel to come to my wedding, from all over the country.

Definitely set up a hotel block. I'm sure the discount varies by region. Calla few hotels, and get info.

You're not responsible for paying for rooms. Saturday is a great day for a wedding, especially for travelers. 

Welcome gifts are a good idea, lots of people do them. Everyone loved the ones we gave out. I like your idea of a list on contact info!

People that can travel,will. The ones who can't, wont. If you want them there, invite them, regardless of how far they live. They'll feel important just to be invited, whether they can come or not.

HTH!

hbatchel2

The block just depends on the hotel. The discount I got for my block was only like 20 dollars. All you have to do is call and give them the dates you want the rooms blocked. Then when your guests make reservations they just give your name to get the discounted price. Make sure you find out the hotels policy on unused blocked rooms. Some hotels will require you to pay for them. Also, make sure you get the date your guests must make reservations by. To get the discounted price in my block, the room had to be booked a month in advance.

Also, I think it just depends on your guests and their situations if they will travel that far for the wedding. Some people may not be able to afford it, but don't feel guilty asking.

tkayphoto

Great advice so far, thanks! 

@Cortney, here's my rationalization for offering brunch.... I guess I was just thinking that with a 20+ hour drive from Florida to NY for one night of a wedding, just to turn around the next morning and drive another 20+ hours back, it might be a nice gesture to offer a brunch (most of our friends are opting to drive vs fly because they have multiple children and the tickets are too costly otherwise). But I see what you're saying, and maybe this is better: have the hotel leave a small Thank you tote on their hotel beds while they are at the wedding reception. When they get back to their room, they will find the bag filled with a thank you note, a travel coffee mugs for the adults, starbucks card and a small favor box of donut holes for an easy on the road breakfast. Found a great website that does custom totes for a good price, so making 15 or so of these bags is not a big deal money-wise.  

@Sarabear, thanks! The contact info idea came from Martha Stewart, clever lady that she is

tkayphoto

Thanks, @hbatchel! Good advice I wouldn't have thought of. Especially "book by" date!

Avion22

- Reserve hotel rooms:  Each hotel will have it's own policy, so your best bet is to call hotels you are interested in and ask what they can offer you.  Some will ask you for a deposit, some will hold you responsible for un-booked rooms, and some will just release rooms that aren't booked a few weeks before the wedding.  Some will offer a big discount for guests who book through your block, and some will not.  We had a hotel offer us a discount that ammounted to TWO DOLLARS off what guests would pay if they booked on their own.  We didn't go with them.....

- Best day of the week?  Generally Saturday works out better for guests (they can travel on Friday and Sunday without missing much work -- maybe a half-day), but Saturdays are also more expensive for venues.  You can try a Friday or Sunday, which might work, especially on a holiday weekend.

The welcome totes/bags are a good idea -- you can just use gift bags if you want to save money.  I've also seen people use those re-usable grocery-shopping bags (just about everyone will re-use those, and they're not terribly expensive).   The departure bags might be a hassle if people are flying, since they will already be packed and now have an extra bag to contend with.....

You don't have to invite all OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner.  We are, because pretty much EVERYONE is from OOT and we are having a super-casual picnic in a local park, and want to give people more time to hang out and catch up with each other.  If you WANT to invite everyone, then you can always go with something more casual (even pizza or bbq), but if you want something more formal you don't have to invite everyone.    

A lot of people are traveling to our wedding, from as far away as Korea.  Just give your guests plenty of notice to make travel arrangments -- save-the-dates are great for this!

- You are NOT responsible to pay for hotel rooms for your guests

jessicabessica

I would rather have the brunch than the goodbye bags.  Your guests are driving 20 hours, it's nice to spend a bit of extra time with them, since you probably won't be able to really relax and spend much time with them at the reception.  We did welcome bags and then had everyone at the RD and brunch (all out of town), and we had a good amount of extra snacks and bottled water from the welcome bags to give out at the brunch for those about to get on the road.  

For the welcome bags, I think an itinerary is good, and then have some snacks and stuff that are expensive to get when you're staying in a hotel.  We didn't end up putting in contact info, because I figured that anyone that needed to reach me knew how to do it, and I didn't really want to encourage people to be calling throughout the weekend.  

On the hotel blocks, you're not expected to pay, and I personally wouldn't set up a block at a hotel that required me to pay a deposit or be responsible for unfilled rooms.  We got married in a touristy area over a holiday weekend, and I was able to set up 4 decent blocks--1 where we married, and 3 at other hotels.  I remember I looked up the current online ("best") price, and I was able to get 1 of the hotels to give me a block at that price that would be good until something like 4 weeks before the wedding for booking (their initial offer was $10 more/night).  

tkayphoto

Thank you all for the advice! I appreciate it  

We are hoping to have a small wedding, ceremony under a long tree-lined driveway in MD, reception still undetermined, hopefully tented on the same property but not 100% yet. Since it's not a popular venue, the day of the week of the wedding isn't an issue, luckily. I think Saturday will work best for us, after listening to the advice from you all. 

For the people who will have to fly, a departure bag with goodies doesn't make sense, and a brunch may not allowed per their travel times. As we get closer to the date, I will need to determine if more people will be in town the Friday pre-wedding, or the Sunday post-wedding. Since we are having such a small wedding, and lots of out of towners, I hope to get to spend lots of time with everyone, so we'll try to plan either a casual Friday dinner or Sunday morning brunch accordingly.

Thanks for the hotel block advice! Hopefully we'll be able to find several options for our guests

MyUserName1

I think you have some very thoughtful ideas, Tkay.

Don't feel guilty asking people to travel!  Even if they can't make it, I'm sure they'll be glad you wanted to include them.

Stick around, Tkay.  We like articulate folks who graciously accept the advice they request!