Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping?

Dallasdoslak

My fiancé and I are eloping, just the two of us, to a remote island off the coast of Fiji. However, we work together and have several clients that we would like to announce our upcoming nuptials to. Instead of receiving endless bottles of liquor and champagne, we would like to receive some gifts that could help get us started in our new home.  Is it appropriate to send an official announcement of our wedding with a list of where we are registered at the bottom, even though we are getting married privately (with no guests)? We are still considering throwing a party for friends and family when we get back but that would be months and months away. Please advise. - 

Jackie D.

DramaGeek

Announcements are to be sent out after your wedding to announce that you are now married.  It is never ok to include gift giving information in an invitation or announcement.

I don't know what kind of clients these are, but I would find it very strange to get a wedding announcement from a business acquaintance.  Perhaps this is the norm in your industry though.

kmmssg

Announcements do not generate gifts and as pp stated, it is never appropriate to include any kind of gift information.  My oldest DD's wedding was moved up 5 months and the guest list was chopped dramatically. We sent announcements the day after the wedding to the extended family that was not invited.  No gifts were received as we expected.

hoffse

I would also find it strange to send announcements to clients, particularly if you want them to give you something in return.....? What field are you in?

zantster

I agree with PPs but I don't see anything wrong with putting your wedding website on the announcement if you have one.  You can do a free website and just post pics from Fiji, video, stories about yout two and have the registry info on there.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-we-send-out-wedding-announcements-wout-gift-registries-even-though-we-are-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de553a72-2ddb-4705-952f-9ba3ffd42297Post:d39917ea-0807-4c21-8207-9f21c1f28b0a">Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PPs but I don't see anything wrong with putting your wedding website on the announcement if you have one.  You can do a free website and just post pics from Fiji, video, stories about yout two and have the registry info on there.
Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]
I don't think this belongs on a wedding announcement.  The announcement is just for the purpse of announcing the wedding.  It should also be sent as soon as possible after the wedding.

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-we-send-out-wedding-announcements-wout-gift-registries-even-though-we-are-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de553a72-2ddb-4705-952f-9ba3ffd42297Post:1bbcac28-1b92-47f9-9744-a1432e327b7e">Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping? : I don't think this belongs on a wedding announcement.  The announcement is just for the purpse of announcing the wedding.  It should also be sent as soon as possible after the wedding.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

Right.  I see where you're coming from.  But since they went to Fiji and in keeping with people using websites nowadays, I don't see how putting a website on there could be  seen as gift grabby since it allows the couple to share more from their day for people who are interested without focusing specifically on the registry.  It seems to be a gray area unless there's some etiquette rule I'm unaware of that pertains to websites on announcements.  If so, then of course that changes things.   

Loopyseven

People have the announcement angle covered so I'm not going to I there. As far as your plan to have a "reception" later, a wedding reception is what you host for your wedding guests who attend the ceremony. Feel free to host a party in a few months, but it really isn't a reception at that point and should not have anything to do with your wedding.

allychase

Personally I'm a little confused as to why you would even consider making a registry when you aren't having ANY guests... 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-we-send-out-wedding-announcements-wout-gift-registries-even-though-we-are-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de553a72-2ddb-4705-952f-9ba3ffd42297Post:9ea76eff-6957-4aac-89de-589139affd19">Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping? : Right.  I see where you're coming from.  But since they went to Fiji and in keeping with people using websites nowadays, I don't see how putting a website on there could be  seen as gift grabby since it allows the couple to share more from their day for people who are interested without focusing specifically on the registry.  It seems to be a gray area unless there's some etiquette rule I'm unaware of that pertains to websites on announcements.  If so, then of course that changes things.   
Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]

Because you're kind of rubbing it in their face that you went to Fiji and got married and they weren't invited.

Wedding announcements are to announce the change in your relationship status to those who may be interested. Not to "share" special parts of your day with more people.

My dad's cousin eloped and brought back a video of the ceremony (in Hawaii) to his parents - you know, people who might be interested. They did show it to the rest of the family as well. But I would think it was weird if I got information from a friend I don't keep in touch with or a really distant relation with their wedding video and registry info. I'm just not that interested. Knowing they are married? That's something relevent to me.

BUT I'm also touch and go on whether or not to even put registry information on a wedding website, so don't mind me. I might be an outlier. (FWIW, I am pro-wedding announcements, although a few people will tell you they're gift grabby. I don't think they are.)

RebeccaB88

If you want to 'share your special day' with people, the best way to do that is by inviting them to witness it.  If you're eloping, you're choosing to not share it with anyone.  Nothing wrong with that, but you can't do it both ways.  You can't share something and keep it private at the same time.

Do not make any mention of a gift registry unless someone asks you about it.  An elopement is not usually a gift-giving event, so I wouldn't count on getting anything from anyone.  No one has to get you anything.  You can make a  very small registry just in case someone does ask, but I wouldn't plan on getting anything from it. 

ginadog

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-we-send-out-wedding-announcements-wout-gift-registries-even-though-we-are-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de553a72-2ddb-4705-952f-9ba3ffd42297Post:ea51bc0e-be80-4da5-8ab8-bc25daede7d2">Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you want to 'share your special day' with people, the best way to do that is by inviting them to witness it.  <strong>If you're eloping, you're choosing to not share it with anyone</strong>.  Nothing wrong with that, but you can't do it both ways.  <strong>You can't share something and keep it private at the same time</strong>. Do not make any mention of a gift registry unless someone asks you about it.  An elopement is not usually a gift-giving event, so I wouldn't count on getting anything from anyone.  No one has to get you anything.  You can make a  very small registry just in case someone does ask, but I wouldn't plan on getting anything from it. 
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

I disagree 100% and am really shocked at this notion.  That is absurd that your marriage should be kept under wraps if you eloped.

We eloped and eloping does not absolve you from sharing your joy with others! 

People will still get you gifts whether you like it or not.  A small registery could be created, but share it/mention it ONLY when someone asks you directly.  I had a few people ask us directly.  I am very surprised at the number of gifts we are getting.  Very touching!

I agree with the others regarding adding registry info to annoucements.  The only time registry info goes on any paper would be for a shower (baby/bridal) which is hosted FOR YOU by someone else.  Otherwise you never mention gifts up front or have it printed.

Cortney1982

1.  Don't send the announcement until after your married.  Do not include registry info on these announcements.

2. Don't expect any gifts.  You likely will not receive any as you do not have any guests.

3.  You can throw a party when you get back, but I would not call it a reception.

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-we-send-out-wedding-announcements-wout-gift-registries-even-though-we-are-eloping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de553a72-2ddb-4705-952f-9ba3ffd42297Post:29ddd5bd-7fbf-48fd-a51f-8a2753dfa4e8">Re: Can we send out Wedding Announcements w/out gift registries even though we are eloping?</a>:
[QUOTE] We eloped and eloping does not absolve you from sharing your joy with others!  Posted by ginadog[/QUOTE]

Of course not.  You can share your joy with anyone you want.  Eloping just means you chose not to share THE MOMENT with anyone else, by having them be there.  Once you invite people to attend the ceremony, it's not private anymore.  If you want to get married alone or almost alone, then do it, and it's all good, but having a super-private ceremony and a huge blowout reception just seem to work against each other. Pick the option you truly want, and own it.  (Like you did, and it looked wondeful.)

ginadog

Poeple misunderstood me.

She made it sound like if you elope, you cannot share the news with anyone because you chose to do it privately.  As if it were a secret.

I think WE all know you don't expect gifts at all elopeing or full wedding event.  That wasn't my point at all.  It's the secretness of eloping and you don't get to share the joy at all.