Should I be upset about this?

KBSK12

Our wedding was 9.1 and I loved everything about it. The venue posts photos of ceremony/reception set ups on their FB page, and I noticed the wedding from 9.2 was posted as well as mine. They used A LOT of my decorations (vintage bottles, crates, doilies, etc.) that I worked so hard to collect for over a year. They even used my left over flowers and it was so obvious! No one from the venue asked if I would be okay with it. I don't think the other bride was charged for these things, because use of supplies is included in the venue price. I'm just really irritated about this.  What would you do?

itzMS

So what you're saying, is you left your personal decorations and flowers at the venue?

You really can't be upset if you failed to take the things with you at the end of the night.

I'm not really sure what you mean by "use of supplies is included".

If the items belonged to the venue, they can use them how they would like. If they belonged to you, it was your responsibility to remove them.

sarabellam

Exactly what can you do? I get being upset about it, but to what end?

lcatterton

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-be-upset-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de85267f-d906-4f32-bff6-53bfe33073f0Post:9dac6efc-9357-4224-b5d9-a7ac21c25a36">Re: Should I be upset about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]So what you're saying, is you left your personal decorations and flowers at the venue? You really can't be upset if you failed to take the things with you at the end of the night. I'm not really sure what you mean by "use of supplies is included". If the items belonged to the venue, they can use them how they would like. If they belonged to you, it was your responsibility to remove them.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

I'm confused, as well.
Who did the decor belong to?
If it was yours, you should have removed it. Unless the venue discussed you being allowed to pick them up at a later time or something. Then MAYBE I could see you being upset about them being used. But, really, what are you going to gain from this?

"Imitation is the highest form of flattery."

brilibby4

Why did you leave your decor at the venue?

KBSK12

I'm not looking to gain anything. And yes, I was told I would be allowed to pick up my items later in the week. They were my decorations that I purchased and spent time collecting. The venue has a collection of vases, filler, etc. that is free to use. But all of my things were collected and left in a designated spot for me to pick up at a prearranged time.

I get that there's not much I can do about this. I'm just generally annoyed about it.

Stackeye210

Oh yea, if they agreed to let you leave them there to pick up later I would be upset they let someone else use them.  I mean if they mixed your items and their items together how do you know if you're even getting them all back? 

There definitely is nothing you can do but I really understand being upset over it.

lcatterton

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-be-upset-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de85267f-d906-4f32-bff6-53bfe33073f0Post:551b9528-0b59-49ff-85f6-04fd9cb3f980">Re: Should I be upset about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not looking to gain anything. And yes, I was told I would be allowed to pick up my items later in the week. They were my decorations that I purchased and spent time collecting. The venue has a collection of vases, filler, etc. that is free to use. But all of my things were collected and left in a designated spot for me to pick up at a prearranged time. I get that there's not much I can do about this. I'm just generally annoyed about it.
Posted by KBSK12[/QUOTE]

In that case, I'd definitely complain to the vendor about it. That was very rude of them to do without asking you. If they don't offer to compensate you for the rental of your items, the only really option you have is to give bad reviews for the venue and spread the news about what they did. That really does suck. I'd probably be just as pissed as you, but unforunately there is not much you can do about it. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif" border="0" alt="Frown" title="Frown" />

RailWayWife

If they said you could pick them up later in the week yes I can see why you are upset. I personally would mention it to the vendor, your items could have been damaged or gone missing because they were used for another wedding.

jessicabessica

I get being annoyed.  I would mention to the venue that you were disappointed that they didn't keep your stuff in its spot until you picked it up per your prior arrangement.  If they had charged the other couple to use your stuff, I would ask for that payment, since it wasn't their stuff to rent out, but it sounds like maybe they just put it in with their general use items that are included.  If your experience was otherwise positive, I probably would not trash them in reviews or anything like that.

AdeleDazeem

oh, I'd be angry if I left my stuff there to be picked up later in the week and the next person used it.  That's weird.

But, I have some logistical questions.

1. Are you SURE they are your things?  Like, 100% sure?  Could it be possible that the next bride bought similar things?  Let's be real - only so many wedding things are original these days, especially if the venue has a theme to it.

2. Why would the following bride use your things?  How does that even happen?  I'm sure she planned her wedding well in advance and it's not like she walked in there with nothing and expected to use whatever other brides had left behind.  This goes back to question number one, now.

Is it possible that the venue thought your stuff was owned by the venue/brought by this bride and was to be put out for her wedding?

I'd talk to them about it.  If they used it incorrectly, let them apologize and help their employees know in the future what is theirs and what is not. 

Calypso1977

id be annoyed at my stuff being used too, but at the same time, what were you planning on doing with it?  if you didnt really have a good legitimate re-use for it, and was planning on just storing it away or tossing it, then i dont really see the big deal in someone else getting use out of it.  the money and time you spent on it cant be gotten back (unless you really thought youd be able to sell them for what you paid). 

but i agree, its the principle of them just using it.  that would miff me too.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-be-upset-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de85267f-d906-4f32-bff6-53bfe33073f0Post:3d9e2e90-d106-4d2b-a394-44b9683b4cbc">Re: Should I be upset about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]2. Why would the following bride use your things?  How does that even happen?  I'm sure she planned her wedding well in advance and it's not like she walked in there with nothing and expected to use whatever other brides had left behind.   
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

This exactly. I think most brides would not be thrilled about using the "leftovers" from the previous day's wedding or even bold enough to do so (even if the things were gorgeous, which I'm sure yours were).
It shows some irresponsibility of the venue management to allow someone else's things to be removed from storage and reused.

KBSK12

[QUOTE]1. Are you SURE they are your things?  Like, 100% sure?  Could it be possible that the next bride bought similar things?  Let's be real - only so many wedding things are original these days, especially if the venue has a theme to it. 2. Why would the following bride use your things?  How does that even happen?  I'm sure she planned her wedding well in advance and it's not like she walked in there with nothing and expected to use whatever other brides had left behind. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

See the picture for a comparison.  I am 110% sure they're my things. And my mom spent hours gluing lace to votive candles, which they also used and burned.

Question 2 is what's making my head spin.  What would she have done if she didn't have my things??  The entire dessert table used my decorations and flowers.  Most of her centerpieces were her own, but a great majority of everything else came from my wedding.


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Loopyseven

Did you pack your stuff up and leave it there for later pick up, or was the venue supposed to do it?

tally7

Let them know you know and write a bad review - since weddings take so much planning I bet the other bride didnt know those were your things and thought they belonged to the venue

KellyBrian2013

I would definitely be upset that the venue re-used my items; especially if I was planning to resell (or reuse) them.

However, just a thought: does the venue take these pictures prior to the wedding? I'm wondering if the venue staff got confused and put your stuff back out by mistake (especially if it was two sets of staff on your night and the next day). When I arrived to my venue, they were already 3/4 of the way done putting out my items, so I wonder if the bride may have had her own items that needed to be swapped out after the above pictures were taken?

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-be-upset-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de85267f-d906-4f32-bff6-53bfe33073f0Post:022b9900-5c9f-47d6-b65d-4c5cb583a298">Re: Should I be upset about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would definitely be upset that the venue re-used my items; especially if I was planning to resell (or reuse) them. However, just a thought: does the venue take these pictures prior to the wedding? I'm wondering if the venue staff got confused and put your stuff back out by mistake (especially if it was two sets of staff on your night and the next day). When I arrived to my venue, they were already 3/4 of the way done putting out my items, so I wonder if the bride may have had her own items that needed to be swapped out after the above pictures were taken?
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

I'm thinking this too- it was a mistake, someone just probably got confused. I mean if I walked into my wedding and some other bride's stuff was out, I would make them change it to what I asked for.

DramaGeek

I was thinking along the same lines as Kelly.  On some website somewhere, a recently married bride is posting how pissed she is because her venue reused the decorations from the night before instead of the ones she brought :-P

KellyBrian2013

Exactly. I think there's a lot of assuming that the second bride intended to use OP's things and that very easily may not have been the case.

KBSK12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-be-upset-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de85267f-d906-4f32-bff6-53bfe33073f0Post:df70ed3b-9781-4178-8a77-5fd3f81b9b58">Re:Should I be upset about this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Exactly. I think there's a lot of assuming that the second bride intended to use OP's things and that very easily may not have been the case.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm definitely more upset with the venue than the bride.  I'm not going to dwell on this, maybe I will say something to the venue, but at this point... I'm married, our wedding was beautiful, and we spent 9 days in Hawaii.  Life is good. Thanks to everyone who made me feel like I wasn't over reacting.