She Invited Herself! Now what?

RedCat6

So my wedding day is in about two months, invitations are out, RSVP's are coming in, and everything is on scheduale.

Everyone at my job knows about my wedding, I invited (discreetly) the few I want to go, the ones I am close to. I gave there invitations either by hand away from others eyes or had them delived to there homes. I have been trying to be careful not to talk about the wedding with those at work who are not invited, but they all know it is going on. We are a small bussiness, word gets around fast haha.

So, my fiance was at work keeping me company, and remarked how nice it was outside and how he hopes the weather will be like that on our wedding day... an evesdropping boss (one of my three) came over and said, "oh, when is the date again?" to which i replyed "may 15th" to which she replyed "oh, i will make sure it is free, wouldnt want to miss it!" and then walked off!! She certainly did NOT receive an invitation, or any details. I have not even slightly hinted that I want her there. We have a very tight budget and limited space, also, I really cant stand her.

My fear is that she may find out from someone else (i did invite my favorite boss) and will show up anyway, possibly towing along her two kids and husband, which we have room for none of them!

How can I stop these domino's from falling! Its driving me insane! She signs my paychecks and controls the timeclock and although I dont want her there, I also dont want her to have animosity twords me, I do have to keep working there after the wedding.

Any advice is appreciated, THANK YOU!

AmoroAgain

Hm.  Inviting one boss instead of all boss's is kind of a bad proposition for me.  If you're inviting anyone from work, I always feel it should be them, even when you dislike them.  That's just my personal ettiquette. 

ZRex

I think this is a tough one, because with work, you should really just do none or all.

I don't know, I mean, she can't possibly be so clueless that she thinks that you can just tell someone you're coming when you haven't received an invite, much less bring her whole family.  I would just count on her getting the hint, and if she shows up, just roll with it.  Most venues plan for around 3% extra or something, don't they? Hopefully you'll be so happy and busy that you won't even notice.

Cause really, the alternative is to say, "hey, i know i didn't invite you or anything, but in case you were planning to crash my wedding, i'd prefer that you didn't."  I don't see that going anywhere good.

redheadfsu

I agree with the" none or all" advice  b/c this can hurt your work relationships.

I mean you can tell her b/c of space only close friends & family are invited, but she will definitely find out other work friends went. I would invite everyone now so my job wasn't hurt by it.

squirrly

Honestly, it would be completely inappropriate and unethical for her to penalize you at work in any way for not inviting her.  The first thing I would do is talk to the boss who is invited, and probably knows this one well.  Explain the situation, and see what advice the "good" boss is able to offer.

If and when you talk to the uninvited one, I would keep the comments very light - "It's so sweet that you want to celebrate with us; unfortunately, we're just not able to invite everyone we'd like.  Perhaps you and I could go to lunch one day?"  You don't need to tell her why, just that you're unable to unvite  everyone.  If she pushes the issue, "I'm sorry - I'm just not comfortable discussing that."  And then change the subject.

danieliza1127

Since your wedding is still 2 months away, I'm guessing that she doesn't realize that invitations have already been sent out.  She'll realize when the time gets closer and she didn't get an invitation that she's not invited.  Make sure your other coworkers know not to discuss the wedding details with anyone at work.