Ok so....I'm newly engaged (as of Monday), and my FI and I are visiting both sets of parents this weekend. My parents are going to be financing most of the big stuff, and my FI and I will be paying for the little stuff (like decos, invites, etc). This weekend I will be asking my parents more specifically about what they will graciously cover, but there was never a question that they would contribute. My parents are not rich but have the means to contribute.
Now comes my dilemma. My FILs don't have the means. I am not planning on them contributing because the last thing I want anyone to do over our wedding is to go into debt. However, in the past there has been some tension with my FMIL specifically because my parents have more means- she feels like less of a mother I think, which I don't like but can't control. She knows that my parents are contributing and I don't want her to feel like less of a mother by leaving her out.
So, should we ask my FILs about what/if they can contribute? Just to be fair and ask both sets of parents? I know she wants to be able to contribute and live up to the groom's family's traditional roles and I want to make my FMIL feel as involved/important as possible because I do not want any "class" tensions between the families going into this marriage... I don't see a problem with the income difference but she does!
Help and TIA!!
