Want to share in fun of wedding with co-workers but they won't be invited to wedding.....

MNturnsVA

Hi there ladies! So we are on a budget wedding, paying for most of it ourselves. I'd love to do some of the fun stuff like showers & bachelorette parties, but at this point can't invite any of these people to actual wedding due to budget. Is it ok to ask them to still come to a shower or party if they aren't invited to wedding??

rsanna

No, it is not.  If someone is invited to any pre-wedding parties, they should be invited to the the weddign itself.

jessicabessica

First of all, you don't throw your own shower or bachelorette party.  They are gifts that someone would offer you.  If they're not offered, you don't have them.  

Second, anyone invited to a pre-wedding party must be invited to the wedding, as PPs said.  There is an exception, though, for work showers.  If someone at work offers to throw you a work shower (during work or right afterwards, coworkers only), that's ok.  I didn't invite anyone from work to the wedding, but they offered to take me us out to dinner to celebrate.  It was really sweet, we didn't talk nonstop about the wedding (more just a friendly dinner), and DH and I baked treats that I brought in later as a thank you to everyone.  

edited for clarity

misssunshine17

Bring me a gift, but you don't get to come to the real party. Doesn't sound okay, does it?? Don't do it, people will feel really slighted. 

Loopyseven

Nope - anyone who is invited to a shower/b-party needs to be invited to the actual wedding - again with the exception that if someone at work throws you a work only shower, you're not obligated to invite co-workers as a PP mentioned.

Jen4948

The only way you can do this is through an "office shower" or "office party."

Any event that has non-co-workers at it along with co-workers will require that the co-workers are invited to the wedding.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-to-share-in-fun-of-wedding-with-co-workers-but-they-wont-be-invited-to-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df17d16c-9ffa-46d9-bb2e-e41c090c5290Post:7c4c80e7-c0f8-4a76-adff-6f91a6a75e4e">Want to share in fun of wedding with co-workers but they won't be invited to wedding.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi there ladies! So we are on a budget wedding, paying for most of it ourselves. I'd love to do some of the fun stuff like showers & bachelorette parties, but at this point can't invite any of these people to actual wedding due to budget. Is it ok to ask them to still come to a shower or party if they aren't invited to wedding??
Posted by MNturnsVA[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>IF your coworkers choose to throw you a shower, that is fine.</div><div>If your coworkers say, "Hey, let's go out to celebrate," that's fine.</div><div>
</div><div>You should not host your own shower or bachelorette.</div><div>
</div><div>Your coworkers should not be invited to any other shower(s).</div><div>Your coworkers should not be invited to an official bachelorette party.</div>