Can I use these?

Soon2bD2014

Hi I was wondering if it's ok to use BM dresses that really aren't BM dresses? I want my girls to wear these in the pink color: http://www.debshops.com/lace-trim-party-dress/1000028256,default,pd.html?cgid=1089&prefn1=colorName&prefv1=purple

There a lot cheaper then real BM dresses and everyone's budget is $75 so these are less and there the right colors and I like them and I hope they will to, but I don't want to show them if it's not ok. Can I do that?

lizzywiz

maybe if your wedding's in vegas.....

UberBiz

omg that looks like sexy lingerie! I say if they like it, and you like it, then there's no reason to feel like you HAVE to have a "real" bridesmaid dress. What's in a name, right?

Stackeye210

It looks cheap and trashy, but to each their own.  Oh and $59 for that?  That's way over priced. 

Soon2bD2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:d6585262-0df1-4255-b588-37efc936e1cc">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]It looks cheap and trashy, but to each their own.  Oh and $59 for that?  That's way over priced. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]



Ouch.

Soon2bD2014

Thanks for your advice, everyone! I know we all fit right in dresses from DEB, so that's why I'm looking there. I'll look at the store you recommended though, Edie. Thanks!

baystateapple

It's very, very short, so I'd make sure that your girls are all okay with the length and style before you commit to saying this is the dress.  Personally, I would not be okay with a dress that length, but again, every woman is different.

ETA: Also, I do agree with Stacks that $59 for a Deb dress is overpriced...mainly because Deb does use cheap quality material.  I bought a dress from Deb for a semi-formal I attended in college (it was a floor-length halter dress) and it fell to pieces within two wears.  Something to be aware of -- these will not be dresses that can be reworn.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:d6585262-0df1-4255-b588-37efc936e1cc">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]It looks cheap and trashy, but to each their own.  Oh and $59 for that?  That's way over priced. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto.</div>

Soon2bD2014

Yea, I do want everyone's dress to be the same, but if people are uncomfortable I totally don't care about picking something new. EDIT: I mean, I don't mind picking something new. That kinda made it sound like I don't care if they feel good and I really do.

HockeyFan4

to me, it looks like lingerie...but if you and your girls like it....

midgetthemighty

Dresses from non-bridal stores are perfectly acceptable for bridesmaid dresses. I personally think you can do a lot better than that dress, even at Deb unless it's changed since I was in HS (I got all my dance dresses there except Prom). For sure get your BMs input on a dress before comitting.

Soon2bD2014

Thanks Midge, that's where we get all ours too. I wouldn't pick without everyone's approval since its not my dress anyway. I think they will like it but we'll all look around the store. It kinda feels like some of you are being intentionally mean, lol...

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:cadec935-fc3b-4cfa-bd2d-4212113f944a">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks Midge, that's where we get all ours too. I wouldn't pick without everyone's approval since its not my dress anyway. I think they will like it but we'll all look around the store. <strong>It kinda feels like some of you are being intentionally mean, lol...</strong>
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]
I don't think anyone is trying to be mean to you.  I think that they're being blunt.  It is not really a bridesmaid's dress in the traditional sense...it is very short and it DOES look like lingerie.  But you know your friends better than we do.  Maybe your friends would be okay wearing it.

Also, in my case, I was trying to let you know, there are plenty of stores that have nicer, better-made dresses than Deb, probably for a cheaper price.  Do you have a JCPenney near you?  I got my rehearsal dinner dress (black and white damask) from there for $40.

daveANDkristen

They're just being honest... and I have to agree that I don't like this dress for a wedding, even a more casual one.  The dress you posted does look too much like lingerie IMO.  But buying a "non-bridesmaid" bridesmaid dress is fine!  My bridesmaids are wearing these dresses, which we got on a 50% off sale for less than $40.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:d6585262-0df1-4255-b588-37efc936e1cc">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]It looks cheap and trashy, but to each their own.  Oh and $59 for that?  That's way over priced. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL.</div>

Soon2bD2014

Bay, I didn't think your comment was mean. There's a difference between honest and hurtful. I know I can't control what other people say, but I was just asking if it's ok to have a dress that isn't labeled for bridesmaids. The cheap and trashy comment kinda hurt my feelings...

CarolineandDean

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:cadec935-fc3b-4cfa-bd2d-4212113f944a">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks Midge, that's where we get all ours too. I wouldn't pick without everyone's approval since its not my dress anyway. I think they will like it but we'll all look around the store.

It kinda feels like some of you are being intentionally mean, lol...
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]



They're just being bluntly honest.

This dress may fit you and your girls' style, but you also have to think about your audience, venue, and future pictures. This dress belongs in a club, not a wedding. In all honesty, the material and lace really does make it look like lingerie.

baystateapple

Yikes, I didn't even THINK about your venue.  Are you getting married in a church?  My priest would have a heart attack if someone showed up with bridesmaids in that dress.

Soon2bD2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:03afbd2e-7382-4d7f-8b18-599decab5167">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]They're just being honest... and I have to agree that I don't like this dress for a wedding, even a more casual one.  The dress you posted does look too much like lingerie IMO.  But buying a "non-bridesmaid" bridesmaid dress is fine!  My bridesmaids are wearing these dresses, which we got on a 50% off sale for less than $40.
Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]



Your BM dresses are very pretty. I'm sure everyone will look very nice in them!

rsaleh84

Have you tried to go to the Gap, or something similar to that?  You can find really cute dresses there that will be made much better and most likely fit their budget...I don't care too much for the material...I think if the material was different, and maybe the dress a tad bit longer it would look much better....

kmmssg

Yeah, no one is trying to be mean but this is a pretty blunt place.  In all honesty, people would be talking about the BM dresses all night and I just don't think it would be because they are amazingly beautiful.  I'm really not trying to be mean but that dress screams hooker to me.

I am going to guess that you are not having a church wedding, correct?  Lots of brides choose dresses that aren't BM dresses but I'm really going to encourage you to rethink that dress.

Soon2bD2014

No, no church or anything like that. We're having the whole thing at a pavilion at a park and FI's uncle is doing that certification thing online and he's going to marry us.

KBSK12

Honest opinion? I think it looks like lingerie. And it's very very short. If I were a guest at a wedding where the BMs were wearing that, I know I'd be side-eyeying. But, to each her own. That said, you could do much better at a store like Macy's and probably around that price point too. They are always having sales and carry better quality dresses.

Habs2Hart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:49c9fae7-4998-47fc-b2d1-39434c05157b">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bay, I didn't think your comment was mean. There's a difference between honest and hurtful. I know I can't control what other people say, but I was just asking if it's ok to have a dress that isn't labeled for bridesmaids. The cheap and trashy comment kinda hurt my feelings...
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]

Nobody was trying to intentionally hurt your feelings, they were giving a blunt opinion.  I agree that it looks like lingerie.  It's not a very good dress for a wedding.  My 85 year old grandma would say some very colourful comments if she went to a wedding where she saw even a guest in that (grandma speaks her mind).  It's very risque for a wedding and people are just letting you know that it's overpriced for what it is and you can likely do better than that. 

Is it the colour that appeals to you?  I bet you can find the pink/black combo in a really cute dress for under $75 no problem. 

Soon2bD2014

What about this: http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=Promo_Prom&ProductID=2000042187&VariantID=012 Or this: http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=Promo_Prom&ProductID=2000035651&VariantID=034 Or this: http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?Br=F21&Category=DRESS&ProductID=2000043381&VariantID=

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:49c9fae7-4998-47fc-b2d1-39434c05157b">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bay, I didn't think your comment was mean. There's a difference between honest and hurtful. I know I can't control what other people say, but I was just asking if it's ok to have a dress that isn't labeled for bridesmaids. The cheap and trashy comment kinda hurt my feelings...
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]

I think you need to develop a thicker skin.

It's perfectly okay to have bridesmaid dresses that aren't "bridesmaid dresses."  Mine were from Modcloth and department stores. 

Those really do look like lingerie, not a dress. The material looks cheap and the dresses are sort of slutty looking. 

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:49c9fae7-4998-47fc-b2d1-39434c05157b">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bay, I didn't think your comment was mean. There's a difference between honest and hurtful. I know I can't control what other people say, but I was just asking if it's ok to have a dress that isn't labeled for bridesmaids. <strong>The cheap and trashy comment kinda hurt my feelings...</strong>
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]
She didn't call YOU cheap and trashy. She said the dress looked that way. Big difference. I agree with others that it's very short and looks like lingerie. I personally don't feel it's appropriate for a wedding, whether it's in a church or not. <div>
</div><div>To answer your original question, no, you don't have to pick a dress that is labeled bridesmaids. There are plenty of beautiful and less expensive dresses out there. My MOH got her dress at Century 21. My mom got her dress at Nordstroms (not the bridal section). I think you'll have beter luck if you look at department stores. For that same $60, you can find something much better quality & more appropriate.</div>

baystateapple

All of the Forever21 dresses are much nicer than the original Deb dress, IMO.

But please do check with your girls and make sure that they're okay with them before you commit.

Soon2bD2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-use-these?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0743e62-b2f2-4601-8791-f53d0ade5224Post:3c15d499-cd35-4aa3-8c70-db6602a16ab8">Re: Can I use these?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can I use these? : Any of these would be great! I especially like the first two.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]



Thanks! Me too. I like that they're similar and if they are the same color then maybe some could wear the strapless and others wear the 1 shoulder? Some of the girls have big boobs and they might not want strapless.

[Deleted User]

I like the dress, but only if I'm about to go hop into bed with H. To be honest, I'd side-eye someone wearing that at a wedding.

ETA - I like the first one in the orever 21 links. And the one that habs posted.

Habs2Hart

What about something like this (<-- clicky)