Wedding Etiquette Forum

before i mail my invites

first a couple questions:

1. how do i spread that our wedding is adult only?
2. what do i do if i don't have phone numbers for FH's family that rsvp with kids? AND him nor his mom will get them because they think it's okay they bring their kids?
3. Is it EVER okay to facbook/email people about adult only reception? We live an hour from these people and IF i don't get phone numbers how do i get ahold of them?

now the back story:
 so i just posted about how my aunt/uncle won't be attending my wedding due to their kids can't come.  This is on my mom's side of the family and it was spread by word of mouth.

well my FH came home yesterday from being OOT for 2 weeks. I was telling him about an encounter with my friends (that i had also posted about) and he said that EVERYONE brings kids and brings a guest NO MATTER WHAT THE INVITE SAYS.  I told him that etiquette says that it's only for the people addressed and that I will have to make phone calls for the people that RSVP for kids and/or guests.  he said I had lost my mind.  When saying something to his mom her words were something to the effect of "well our family thinks that free food is a great time to get together and will bring anyone and everyone weather they're invited or not"....when I told her that wasn't right she pretty much said oh well.....

my FH and I are paying for our own wedding and needed to cut somewhere.  Kids and guests once cut took ONE HUNDRED people out of our guest, i go back to my questions above....ANY HELP would be amazing!

EDIT: another questions, if they're going to be rude and do whatever they want, how rude is it to just copy and paste etiquette on my facebook since they read it?  (i'm not going to, but I AM REALLY REALLY tempted)
image Our 6 year old hugging daddy after she jumped of the swing...later finding out she broke her arm....
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