Ceremony time options - Catholic Wedding.

Annie_Warbucks

We have two options for our catholic ceremony since the church has Saturday night mass at 4pm. The reception (our country club) is about 20 mins from the church. The wedding is in September of 2010. 

Which option is better? 

Option #1: 

Ceremony at 2pm. 

After mass - Brief pics at church w/ family/ bridal party. Then FI and I pics. 

Meet limo at parent's house for a drink with bridal party (2 blks from church)

Travel to country club. 

Cocktail hour - 5-6pm

Reception from 6pm - 10:30pm 

11pm - ?? - afterparty. 

Option #2: 

Pictures before ceremony (including seeing FI which I really wasn't too keen on)

Ceremony at 5:30 pm. 

Travel to country club 

Cocktail hour start @ 7pm 

Reception from 8pm-12:30am

Also both sides are catholic, so the catholic "gap" is a pretty normal occurrence for most of our guests. 

I like option #1 better for the picture taking time, not having to see FI before the ceremony, having plenty of opportunity for pictures at the country club while it is still light out. 

I feel like option #2 is more convenient for guests. And would allow more time for getting ready. and wouldn't have the reception end so early ...

Thoughts? 

JK10910

Option 2.  If you plan your day right, you can still get pictures at the club if you really want to prior to the ceremony. 

Brie2010

Option 2, hands down.

Option 1 is rude.  I've been to a ton of Catholic weddings, and even though "the gap" is common it makes me incredibly stabby every single time.  Just because everyone else does something stupid doesn't mean you should, too.  I hate having my entire Saturday jeopardized by a wedding.  I would absolutely adore option 2 as one of your guests, and I would think, "What a thoughtful, logical, awesome bride!" when I got that invite.

anna.oskar

As a guest I would definitely like #2 better.  I hate gaps, especially if I travelled to the ceremony.

lyndausvi

option #2.  

I was in a wedding with that time frame and I really like it.  Once the ceremony was over, we only had a few church pictures to do  then off to the party.

danieliza1127

Option 2 is definitely better for your guests.  If you do option 1, they'll have about 2 to kill, which is sort of annoying because it's not really enough time to go and do anything. 

The best compromise would be to do what we did.  Have the 5:30 ceremony but do as many pictures beforehand as you can without seeing each other.  Do all the bride and BM picks while the guys are away somewhere, then go hide and let the guys do all the guy picks.  Then after the ceremony, your guests go to the cocktail hour while you finish pictures and you arrive in time for the reception.   You really don't need to be at the cocktail hour.  The whole point of it is so that you have something for your guests to do while you do pictures, in my opinion anyway.

sucrets4

Hands down option 2. 

And I agree with Dani, you don't HAVE to see each other before.  You can get a ton of pics out of the way with your family before.

ring_pop

#2. The Catholic gap is also very common in my circle, but I was lucky enough to be able to avoid it. My guests are still raving about how great that was.

[Deleted User]

#2. gaps are the worst. don't be that guy.

Pirata13

option 2 if you have to do it that way.

We are having a 2pm ceremony and the reception will start either 3:30 or 4pm.  We will do pics with our families/guys/girls before, then do group pics after. 

Annie_Warbucks

Yeah, we just got offered the 5:30 time slot and I am really thinking it could work out well. Our church had a 4pm AND a 6pm Saturday mass, so the only time do have the ceremony was 2pm.  But our church scaled back and only have 1 mass now. 

And I totally agree with not going to cocktail hour and do pics with FI then. But it will be dark, and I really wanted to do some "scenic" shots with FI out by the golf course and grounds, which probably wouldn't work post-ceremony. So that is really the only negative about option 2....

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-time-options-catholic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e11695fd-c448-4847-bfe3-bd18ff445b73Post:9f8c193c-4ff8-4023-9fad-e404e2f6fb44">Re: Ceremony time options - Catholic Wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, we just got offered the 5:30 time slot and I am really thinking it could work out well. Our church had a 4pm AND a 6pm Saturday mass, so the only time do have the ceremony was 2pm.  But our church scaled back and only have 1 mass now.  And I totally agree with not going to cocktail hour and do pics with FI then. But it will be dark, and I really wanted to do some "scenic" shots with FI out by the golf course and grounds, which probably wouldn't work post-ceremony. So that is really the only negative about option 2....
Posted by Annie_Warbucks[/QUOTE]

What time of year are you getting married? 

Our ceremony is in May, at 6, so we're taking outdoor pictures probably around 6:30 or 7 and my photographer says it's one of the best times to get good light.

Annie_Warbucks

I'm a nerd and looked up when sunset would be for our date. It averages around 6:45 pm for Sept 25th. 

But I would say we would not be at the country club until about 7:20, which won't be pitch black, but probably not sunny. So, if I wanted the pics, I would just have to suck it up and see him pre ceremony. I feel like since we chose such a nice venue that allows for great outdoor pics, it would be a shame to not use that amenity. 

ggmae

2.

crfische

Gaps fucking suck.

And annie warbucks? ARe you kidding me with that name?

Anyway, gaps suck. Don't do that to your poor guests.

Brie2010

Haha, I just looked in your bio and I grew up about 15 minutes away from your reception venue.  Good choice!  It's beautiful.

Annie_Warbucks

man. I like my screenname.....

It's a heck of a lot better than some of the crap I've seen on here....

Annie_Warbucks

Brie - where'd you grow up? My fam is from Beverly. 

Do you post on the Chicago board? 

Brie2010

Grew up near Chicago Heights, but I went to high school in the Frankfort/New Lenox/Mokena area.  I miss it!

I sometimes post on the Chicago board, but we've booked most of our vendors already, and I don't have vendor reviews yet, so I haven't been around much lately.  They are generally a pretty helpful local, though!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Option 2, hands down.

You can do pictures with your respective families and "sides" of the WP before the cermony so that you can do the pictures of just you and FI after the ceremony, during cocktail hour. (I'm doing the opposite - family pics after the ceremony - but do whatever works best for you AND your guests.)

ThePinkSuperhero

#2, for sure.

MairePoppy

#2. You're lucky that your church allows Sat evening weddings. I wish ours did. Skip the recieving line at the church so you have time for a few outdoor shots.

MairePoppy

I just thought of this: Your photographer will probably be able to get some beautiful sunset shots at that hour.

Calypso1977

#2 because gaps are not ideal, even tho for some they are apparently commonplace.

we took all of our pics before, not to avoid a gap, but because it made sense.  you are more relaxed, as you dont have to rush (nor does your photographer) as you arent cramming everything into one hour (the cocktail hour).  also, you tehn get to join your guests for the cocktail hour.  you paid for it, why not be there to enjoy it?  and it will save table visits as you can meet and greet at the cocktail hour.  also, everyone is fresh, not tear stained, wrinkled, sweaty, etc.  i highly recommend pics before. 

especially with an evening wedding.  you have all day long free to do pics.  why make yoru guests wait at the reception while you take pics?

ExpatPumpkin

Option #2.  

We had a 2:30PM ceremony, but we started our cocktail hour at 4:30PM, started dinner at 6PM and went until midnight.  The gap was about 30 minutes, BUT it was a DW and all the guests were staying at that hotel AND the hotel was instructed to start serving whenever people showed up (even if it was before 4:30PM)...

We saw each other before the ceremony - although I was originally opposed to the idea - and it worked out great.  We were able to get a bunch of family pics out of the way before the ceremony.  Then afterwards, we escaped with the photographer for about 30 minutes and did our solo shots (like the one in my signature).  We showed up at the cocktail hour at a little before 5PM.

In the end, you really want to have happy guests.  Option #2 will make them happy

lmw4253

If gaps are normal in your circle, than I would go with the 2pm. Mine is at 2pm and cocktails at 5 but I am going to have a few things for peopel to do in the 2 hour gap if they want, like maybe a tour on a trolley of the area or somethign. I considered doing cocktails earlier but had family members actually telling me they prefer a gap to go back to rooms (its a huge beach resort) freshen up and have drink.

So either think of something for them to do in the meantime for those who might mind a gap but if this is the norm for you, I would stretch the day out as long as possible and do it at 2.