Invite Etiquette

Shia

My best friend has been engaded for about 10 months and she picked a date, but instead of sending out STDs or formal invitations. She sends me a facebook wedding invite through a private message. Should I respond or ignore it? Also should I give her a few tips on etiquette? I am truly excited for her but this is not okay. I need advice on how to handle this. 

daveANDkristen

When is her wedding? Maybe she is using the Facebook message as an informal STD. There's no polite way to school someone in proper etiquette. If you can work it in naturally, maybe tell her how much you enjoy the boards on TK and tell her to check it out.

musicalcanadianbride

She doesn't HAVE to do STDs. Personally, I think they are a waste of paper and postage. Call your friends/family and just tell them the date! Anyways, I digress... I would just ask her if a formal invitation is to follow. 

mlg78

If the wedding date is more than 2 months out this is likely just a very informal save the date. You could always ask if she has started looking at invitations yet along with venues, dresses, etc...

Shia

Okay, thanks. I am truly happy for and will accept the invite. Thanks for all your help. 

nicoleandersonmd

Hmmmmm... Well, i sent a private "event" thing to a group of friends basically saying "Hey guys, FI and I are getting married in Mexico a year and one month from now. Just giving everyone a heads up!" Then we sent out STDs 6 months in advance and formal invitations 10 weeks in advance. My brother had email invites that were sent out 3 weeks before his wedding. I didn't bat an eyelash.

AroundTheBlock

There is nothing fundamentally wrong or rude about issuing invitations by Facebook private message. It is a perfectly common, normal everyday way to issue an informal invitation.

True, most wedding hostesses plan a formal wedding, and good etiquette does require a consistency between the level of formality of the event, and the level of the formality of the invitation. It *is* bad manners to send mixed messages, because the confusion can lead to guests' not knowing how to dress or how to respond.

But there is no etiquette rule that says all weddings have to be formal; and there is well-defined etiquette for informal situations as well as for formal situations. If this bride is having an informal modern wedding celebration, using informal modern invitation technology is perfectly appropriate.