Address my own thank you?

Sharpschruter22

I apologize if this has been discussed before. Obviously, I am new here although I have lurked for quite some time and it is not in the FAQ file.

Recently, I have noticed a trend among wedding showers where you are handed an envelope upon arrival and you are expected to write your name and address on the envelope so the bride or mom to be does not have to spend any time finding your address and writing it out.

Should I write my own thank you note too? I spent the time to go out and purchase a lovely gift for your new life and you can't spend 30 seconds writing down my address? Are you kidding me?

This is being spread over pinterest like wild fire over what a great idea this is and what a time saver. Please ladies, validate that this is a major etiquette faux pas?

Legu

Here's your gift, here's your preaddressed envelope... Now WRITE ME MY THANK YOU! Urgh. How insulting.

getaclue44

About 8 years ago the MOH at my brother's wedding told us that she was going to do that at the shower. My sister and I flipped on her and told her that we would take the envelopes away from the guests on our side. She couldn't figure out why it was rude.

[Deleted User]

Good grief!!! I simply typed the address list that my MOH requested as labels.  All she had to do for the invites was print and all I had to to for my thank you notes was reprint.

That's just downright lazy to have a guest address their own!

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-my-own-thank-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e273a012-149c-46e5-a9ec-8ebc9da82449Post:b77ef0ba-81e9-4515-91de-141fb5a79e93">Address my own thank you?</a>:
[QUOTE]I apologize if this has been discussed before. Obviously, I am new here although I have lurked for quite some time and it is not in the FAQ file. Recently, I have noticed a trend among wedding showers where you are handed an envelope upon arrival and you are expected to write your name and address on the envelope so the bride or mom to be does not have to spend any time finding your address and writing it out. Should I write my own thank you note too? I spent the time to go out and purchase a lovely gift for your new life and you can't spend 30 seconds writing down my address? Are you kidding me? This is being spread over pinterest like wild fire over what a great idea this is and what a time saver. Please ladies, validate that this is a major etiquette faux pas?
Posted by Sharpschruter22[/QUOTE]

<div>That sounds ridiculous to me. I can't believe people are even doing that. This is why I have a love/hate with Pinterest. People think that Pinterest automatically means it's a great idea, even when it's not.</div>

shanliann

that seems a bit much.

i saw it done at a going away party, where the gal that was moving give away everyone an addreessed envelope to her new address, and had everyone address an envelopes to them selves for her. basically saying hey im moving but want to keep in touch! i thought it was cute because now a days, not everyone will sit down to write a letter to a friend, its all text, email, facebook etc. but i couldn't imagine asking people to do it, to save me time. how weird would it be to get a card in the mail with your own handwriting on the envelope?

[Deleted User]

It's not a big deal to me. Maybe because I'm used to doing SASEs, I don't know. There are more important things to get all up in arms about. It's just an envelope.

AdeleDazeem

I'm that girl who looks at the envelope and says "Really?" to the person who tells me to write my name and address on it.

I think it's lazy and tacky, sorry. 

kmmssg

I don't think it is the greatest of ideas, but I'm with Seshat - this just isn't worth getting a wrinkle in my panties.

OwningAHome1981

I went to an engagement party once where instead of envelopes the grooms mom came around with an address book and everyone put their info in it. I think that's better than the envelope thing. Plus, if u are sending out invites for a shower or eng party, wouldn't you already have the addresses anyway?

TheSlowskys

I've seen this done at showers before maybe a wedding too. It didn't bother me but I wouldn't want it done at my own shower or wedding. Then again I haven't had my shower yet but I've already addressed all my thank yous. Which is presumptuous but no one will know.

kmmssg

I wouldn't put the blame on the brides here.  This is something the shower host usually does.  I cohosted a shower a year ago with my SIL for our niece.  I had NO idea she was going to do this, but she did.  Wasn't my niece's fault.  Like I said, I don't think it is the most tasteful thing, but life is just too short to make this such a big deal.  I have attended many showers that do this, and it is the hosts who come up with the idea, not the bride or mom to be.

gurrlballa10

I can definitely get down with this.  This actually happened at one of my showers and I tried to rectify the situation, but no one would allow me or could understand why I wanted the envelopes taken away.  I let it go, but I definitely didn't like it. 

crash2729

Meh.
I'm with Sesh. I don't see the huge deal.
Did I personally do it? No.
Do I get offended if someone asks me to do it? Not really.
It's just an envelope, IMO.

Meegles4

Agree with Crash. It's happened several times at my friends' showers, and I'm not going to get all judgey on it. But sure, it's kinda dumb that you're really only saving the bride about 30 seconds of time in the process and it's not as though she doesn't already have everyone's address.

I actually find shanliann's example even weirder. I would find it super odd to go to a going away party and fill out my address or have to fill out HER address in hopes I'd write to her. Now, I'm just left with an envelope that I may or may not use because I rarely write physical letters anymore. At least at the shower, there's a specific reason for correspondance, and thus a reason for the envelopes.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to Re:Address my own thank you?:[QUOTE]I've been to a few showers where people did this. I think it's tacky and poor etiquette, but I kept it to myself and simply won't be doing it at my shower. It takes no time to print out the lables needed, especially when you keep all the invite addresses on a spread sheet. So easy.nbsp;And yes, lables are techinically also a nono, but it's a very minor one and my handwriting is awful.nbsp; Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

Why are labels a no no? I think they look nice

reppunzel

I've been to several showers now where this was done and didn't care for it.  Was I "offended" ... no, I wouldn't put it that strongly, and I didn't experience significant wadding of undergarments, but I made a *huge* mental note to be sure that it wasn't done at any shower I host or ones given for me (if I have any input at all!).

At the first shower it was worse because they actually said, "So that <bride /> won't have to be bothered with all that writing."  Really?  Three short lines?  As PP said, that was on the MOH who was making the announcement, not the bride.  It just gave the impression that we, the invited guests, were incoveniencing the bride and shower-givers by coming to celebrate with her and bringing a gift.

It's also weird when it comes to you in the mail.  Like getting those appointment-reminder postcards from the dentist. 

I've done it (self-addressed the envelope); I'm sure I'll wind up doing it again, but it's nothing  that I would want my guests to experience.

kmmssg

"significant wadding of undergarments", I like that.

lahlah12bk

I agree with op. I can't stand this. It gives me the feeling that the note inside is perfunctory, rather than sincere. It reminds me of my fi's boss, who always writes "thx" rather than thank you. We always joke that if actually writing "thank you" is just too much for you, you're not really thankful. I feel the same way about the addresses. I know its usually the host, rather than the bride, but it's still insulting.