Does not compute.

Brie2010

A friend of mine posted on FB that she is quitting her job (she's a teacher) solely to try to get pregnant.  Her logic is that she does not want to work AT ALL while she's pregnant.  This just does not make sense to me.  She and her FI are both from wealthy families, and he has a good job, but I just don't understand why you would leave a perfectly good job just to TTC.  It obviously takes two people, and he's not quitting his job, so, uh...I don't get it.

Also, hi.  I haven't been around much this week.  How is everyone and what's your Friday night plan?

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:8a4f043e-0ffa-4151-b43f-bdfce8eb91d3">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not the sex part that bothers me when you know people are TTC because they were probably doing that anyway.  It's just that once they announce they're TTC, then it would become really awkward after a certain amount of time has passed and nothing has happened yet.
Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes, I agree.  I know of two people who are openly TTC - including my SIL's sister - and they're both healthy 26/28-year-olds and it's been 10/13 months (respectively)...  Poor them, because now everyone knows and thinks there must be a problem :( 

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ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:6c82ba44-448a-403e-9ed2-35ae86d1e5cc">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]She gave notice so she's leaving at the end of the year.  The status was something like "90 days of school until I'm a SAHW/M!"
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>So she just doesn't want to leave after starting a school year.  Same as my SIL's sister.  Hope it works out for her...

</div>

jajph1974

Stress actually does affect your ability to conceive, so if that's the case I can kind of see where she's coming from.

But if she's just looking for a reason (excuse) to not work, then I think that's just dumb.

Celles

Stress does affect some people like that.  My best friend's cousin tried for years to conceive.  She and her husband bought a big, beautiful house in one of the best school districts in Southern California for the family they wanted to start...  Eventually, they gave up, quit their jobs, sold their home and moved into a two-bedroom condo in Hawaii. 

They got pregnant within months.  Twice.

Still, re: the OP's friend...  I don't get it, either.  (And I'm a little jealous.)

ExpatPumpkin

Celles - Welcome!  Just wanted to say that I LOVE your pup!  Which kind is he/she?  

Celles

ExpatPumpkin - Thanks!  She's a brussels griffon, and she is very, very lucky she's cute because she is a real terror.  Her name is Misfit. 

SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:7f9e051f-9dc7-4111-90fd-2c42af9e27d0">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does not compute. : So she just doesn't want to leave after starting a school year.  Same as my SIL's sister.  Hope it works out for her...
Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]
That makes a little more sense.  I wonder if she's officially quit for the next school year already.  That would kind of be a counting your chickens before they hatch situation (ha!) though.  But maybe she just wants an excuse to not work.  I'm pretty sure I would hate being a SAHW/M, but to each her own. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:8a4f043e-0ffa-4151-b43f-bdfce8eb91d3">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not the sex part that bothers me when you know people are TTC because they were probably doing that anyway.  It's just that once they announce they're TTC, then it would become really awkward after a certain amount of time has passed and nothing has happened yet.
Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]

Really? I don't sit around and think about my friends' sex lives. Announcing you are TTC is pointing it out and inviting a flash of your naked rump (and your husbands) in the other person's mind. Unnecessary, IMO.

Brie2010

Yeah, she's quit for good.  I doubt she'll ever go back to work.  She's always been very open about ONLY wanting to be a SAHM her whole life, and her mission in college was just to find a husband.  Which she did.

I didn't think about the leaving mid-year thing, which makes sense to me at least a little bit. 

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:70fac0bb-eeed-4716-bc07-b1c0a03764c6">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]ExpatPumpkin - Thanks!  She's a brussels griffon, and she is very, very lucky she's cute because she is a real terror.  Her name is Misfit.  :)
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, she's adorable!  I hear you about how being cute can be their saving grace!  I have a shih tzu named Oscar ;)</div><div>
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SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:e0f89a92-3b29-46a7-ba3d-2328ee00f0d2">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does not compute. : Really? I don't sit around and think about my friends' sex lives. Announcing you are TTC is pointing it out and inviting a flash of your naked rump (and your husbands) in the other person's mind. Unnecessary, IMO.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
It's not the rump that would be flashing through my mind.

Future.Mrs.Carter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-compute?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2823732-ae59-4a1f-8072-9e7fa73e01a7Post:589a4ded-9ced-4394-9981-8dd7174af40f">Re: Does not compute.</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, she is very open with her friends about the fact that she does not like sex and thinks it's gross.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

<div>That is probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard. "I think sex is gross but I'm willing to do it a few times so I can have a baby." I think she needs a reality check b/c babies can be super gross since they tend to puke, poop, and get runny noses. I'm surprised that she managed to wrangle a guy when she doesn't like sex. Unless he didn't know before they said "I do."   It's an important part of a marriage. I'd be pissed if my FI decided that he didn't like sex. She's nuts.</div>

redheadfsu

I get very bad mental images when my friends/ family tell me they are TTC. You are asexual to me if you are family/ friends/coworkers. And I never know what to say other than, "good luck."

krmabojo

Even if I had the money I could not quit my job... I would get bored. Also, I do not want to sit at home preggers doing nothing...

cbvcru67

I had a friend in a similar situation.  She wasn't a teacher, she was actually Sr. HR manager at a pretty large company.  She quit a couple months back so that she and her husband could start TTC.  I can't say for sure whether they had tried before or not, they hadn't said anything one way or the other.  But they both are past 30, both had very solid careers.  From what she said, the long hours she was keeping, coupled with the stress of her job just seemed to be getting in the way of the life they wanted.  And no, I know I am phrasing it wrong, because hey work gets in the way of my life too!  But, really, there just wasn't a need for her to work at this stage of their life, and they had things they wanted more, like a family, than they needed her income.  They haven't conceived yet, which makes me think maybe she was having some problems all along, but at least in her case, I understand and agree with her decision.