Wedding Etiquette Forum

destination wedding gift.. whats proper?

How much money is it proper to give as a gift at a destination wedding? My thought was about $40 because I am spending money to go on the vacation AND there isn't a reception or anything. Just the ceremony in St. Thomas and then back to the cruise ship to party. $40 sounds cheap to me though... thanks in advance :)

ps- if this was the wrong board, so sorry. I couldn't find a destination wedding board.
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Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper?

  • it's under the "wedding theme" section.

    but to answer your question.  i don't think that is too cheap.  i had a few friends that traveled out of town to a wedding and didn't get a gift because they spent so much money to get there. (this was when we were in college).  the B&G understood, they didn't invite them just to get a gift.
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  • Spend whatever you feel comfortable spending, DW or not.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • There's no reception...?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-gift-whats-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2912aac-8eff-4f58-a8b6-2f025ba42712Post:0216b246-fbfb-4484-b5de-e357eb06b07c">Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Spend whatever you feel comfortable spending, DW or not.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    I agree.
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  • Is there no registry ?

    $40 sounds reasonable to me
  • No wedding registry.. I have actually enver heard of that.

    I am going to the shower though and spending about $50 on a gift.

    No reception.. just ceremony in St. Thomas and then we're all going to party on the island and then get back on the cruise ship.

    Thanks for the comments ladies!
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  • Yea, give what you're comfortable with, and if that's $40 that's fine.  FI and I accepted way back when we decided to have a DW that we may not get the same gifts as we would if our wedding were local, which is understandable.

    As for the no reception, I don't get that.  It's a lot to ask of people to travel to your DW, then not provide a meal of some sort.  But it's not under your control, so hopefully the partying is fun.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-gift-whats-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2912aac-8eff-4f58-a8b6-2f025ba42712Post:af33ba64-c9c0-4a1c-adde-836eadade390">Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yea, give what you're comfortable with, and if that's $40 that's fine.  FI and I accepted way back when we decided to have a DW that we may not get the same gifts as we would if our wedding were local, which is understandable. As for the no reception, I don't get that.  It's a lot to ask of people to travel to your DW, then not provide a meal of some sort.  But it's not under your control, so hopefully the partying is fun.
    Posted by carrieoz_76[/QUOTE]


    Isn't the food free on a cruise?

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-gift-whats-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2912aac-8eff-4f58-a8b6-2f025ba42712Post:282fb6fc-f24f-4411-b8f3-764a9e4688d7">Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper? : Isn't the food free on a cruise?
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]
    That's what I hear, although I've not been on one myself.  It sounded like they're doing the ceremony in St. Thomas, though, followed by "partying", then re-boarding the cruise, so I took that to mean they're not arranging for some sort of meal.  I suppose if it was well-fed partying, that would probably qualify, as well.  :)

    ETA: Re-read OP and they're partying on board.  I still think there should be a hosted group meal of some sort to thank the guests for going so far out of their way, but I don't know how you'd do that on a cruise when ppl paid their way.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-gift-whats-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2912aac-8eff-4f58-a8b6-2f025ba42712Post:08ef4875-92eb-49ba-8968-9a77e651ae3a">Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper? : That's what I hear, although I've not been on one myself.  It sounded like they're doing the ceremony in St. Thomas, though, followed by "partying", then re-boarding the cruise, so I took that to mean they're not arranging for some sort of meal.  I suppose if it was well-fed partying, that would probably qualify, as well.  :)
    Posted by carrieoz_76[/QUOTE]


    But everyone paid their way on to the cruise ship... so, they paid for their reception.  This bugs me.  But whatever - hope everyone has fun!
  • I didn't even think about there being a problem with not having a reception. Yes, food is all inclusive on the cruise, so I would understand why they wouldn't want to spend money on an organized reception. But I guess it makes me wonder about them expecting gifts?

    Now i'm annoyed LOL... thanks for the help ladies. I will probably stick with a small amount.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-gift-whats-proper?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2912aac-8eff-4f58-a8b6-2f025ba42712Post:df5cc22e-9da8-4bd7-a0e1-4575c436f03d">Re: destination wedding gift.. whats proper?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't even think about there being a problem with not having a reception. Yes, food is all inclusive on the cruise, so I would understand why they wouldn't want to spend money on an organized reception. But I guess it makes me wonder about them expecting gifts? Now i'm annoyed LOL... thanks for the help ladies. I will probably stick with a small amount.
    Posted by lilcassers[/QUOTE]


    Haha!!  I'm sorry for pointing it out.  Go.  Have a good time.  And give exactly what you want to give - don't feel pressured to give a penny more. 
  • I'm having a DW, and I told the guests who are attending the wedding to NOT give us gifts, as they are spending their precious vacation time and money to attend.
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  • I'm having a DW and do not expect one gift (which you should never expect) but I'm sure I will pass the word along when our STD/Invites go out. But they are paying their way.
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