destination wedding - reception at home

lexakita

I am planning on getting married in June 2013 in Niagara Falls.  I was starting out with an intimate ceremony and then just a simple dinner with my family/close friends afterwards.  Suddenly my small/intimate wedding is now almost 30 people.  I feel like it got a little out of control.  I have 4 aunts and 1 uncle with their SO's, then older cousins in serious relationships also.  Its just adding up to quickly, thats just my side! My fiance still needs to give me an idea of how many people he would want..

Is it bad form to have my intimate wedding, maybe borderline elope, and then a dinner/party back home ( live in capital district of NY) instead?  Even with my family knowing i am getting married in Niagara Falls, there is no set date yet, so could i say due to circumstances we are having a get together/reception back home in albany, NY, after our wedding 'to celebrate our marriage'? 

If that is acceptable, when do i send out invitations for the celebration?  I am picturing a private room at one of my fave restaurants and a nice dinner and a cake afterwards.  Nothing major.
Thanks!!

Maggie0829

For this I would suggest a small (meaning immediate family only - parents, siblings and grandparents) ceremony or it could always just be you and your FI and then a nice "We're Married!" celebration later on.

If you want to keep the actual wedding date quiet, like you would like to surprise people that you got married, you could mail the celebratory invites out directly after the ceremony.  This way it will serve as an announcement and also an invite.

How many people and how far away do your guests live from the restaurant that you would like to hold your celebration at?  This will affect when you should have the celebration.  If all the individuals live in the same town then you can get away with having the reception 2 or 3 weeks later, but if you want OOT guests to come you may need to wait 2 months or so.

redheadfsu

Have the small destination wedding. Then throw a non-wedding related party after. Just a party (no first dance, cake cutting, etc).

Inviting non-wedding guests to a wedding related event can be seen as rude.

lisa3185

At home receptions are very common following a destination wedding and have become very accepted.  Most people on this board will tell you its okay to have a celebration as long as its not wedding related...but to me that defeats the whole purpose, KWIM?  Not at all saying you should have a wedding redo, but you also shouldn't pretend its a "for no reason" event.

I am having a private ceremony (just the 2 of us) followed by a brunch back home 3 weeks later.  Everyone I have talked to (IRL) says what a great idea it is and everyone seems genuinely excited to attend something different than a standard run of the mill wedding. 

Check out the DW board.  Those ladies have some really great ideas and you can get the feel of how other DW brides are planning their events!

Knottie1443721062

 I have an Aunt that actually did almost the same thing. She was married in Niagara Falls and then came home and had her reception here (in Michigan). We all refered to it as a Wedding reception. She wasn't asking for gifts or money, it was just a party to celebrate the marriage, same thing a reception is. No one felt that it was rude. They just got married, her family/friends were happy for her.

lexakita

Thank you!  I have most of my family in NY, the relatives that would come in from OOT would probably make arrangements to stay with other family, like they usually do when they come up for a visit.  I really just wanted my immediate family (dad, stepmom, 2 stepsibs and my bro), the fiance has his bro and a mutual friend of ours that he would have coming.  Thats what i wanted to keep it at, I dont know how it got to be 30 people! 

I think the at home party will work out, im planning on getting married early June, so maybe a get together early August.  thanks so much!!