Invitation ettiquette

sweetpea0911

CN: FI and I need to cut our list from 100 to 75.  We're getting married in his church using my reverend from home; should we invite his pastor and his pastor's family to the wedding/reception?

Details:  FI and I originally started off with 200 people on the guest list for our wedding, and have been slowly wittling it down.  We're down to 100 right now, but after speaking with my stepmom, may need to cut it even further - dad is only willing to pay for about half, and we can't afford to pay for another 50 ourselves.  My mom can help pay for about another 25; FI doesn't want to ask his family (who are in the midst of family drama).

We are getting married in his home church, but using MY reverend from home to do the ceremony.  FI's pastor and family were on our original list of 200, and have made the cut down to 100 so far.  Needing to cut another 25 though, they are making their way to the chopping block.  I do not care for his pastor, and his mother has already said she would not be upset that we do not invite him.  his father has not been consulted; FI refuses to tell me his opinion.

So, ettiquette wise, are we required to invite the pastor and his family to the wedding since we are using his chuch, but not soliciting his services for the ceremony?

kikibaby

It seems like if you're using his church, it might be a little rude to not invite him.  But, if you can't swing it, I don't think it's a huge deal. 

Kati0105

Maybe break the 75 down and give 20 to his parents, 20 to your parents, and save 35 for yourselves?  That way they can decide if they want the pastor and his wife to be included.  I *really* wish we had set guest list limits for the different sides.

squirrly

I don't see why you're obligated to invite him.  Are you inviting everyone else who works at the church?

Ultimately, though, I think your FI needs to weigh in.