Bridal party change...for a legitimate reason?

BMG2013

I have made a few previous posts about some issues with my cousin who is a bridesmaid in my wedding party (she was angry that I hadn't bought bridal party gifts for her yet, despite my wedding not being until July). We have not had much contact since then but something just happened that makes me unable to imagine her in my bridal party any longer.

Without going into too much detail, my family discovered that she stole a few thousand dollars from my father. This by itself would be disgusting enough to me but she had a hard life growing up and my Dad was one of the only people who took care of her, both emotionally and financially when her own parents did not. In addition (I can't believe there is more), she tried to sell confidential information about a company he owns to one of his competitors. 

I have read these boards and understand that kicking someone out of the bridal party is generally frowned upon and considered wrong. But my Dad is the world to me and I pretty much cannot stomach even looking at her anymore, much less doing anything wedding related.

Can I classify this as an exception to the "don't ever kick out a bridesmaid" rule? At this point I would be okay never speaking to her again as a result of this mess. All advice appreciated

thejucheidea

I think that because you're never going to speak with her again, this is okay. Just don't replace her.

hoffse

As long as you recognize that it's a friendship-ending move, I think it's fine.  It may be a bit more complex since she is related to you, but plenty of families have people who don't interact with each other.

Personally, I would be concerned having her around the card box, but that's just me.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party-changefor-a-legitimate-reason?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e369d979-ff04-48e4-8a97-d52edb15862aPost:2ab2f725-f4d7-445a-b46c-03006b9dd409">Re: Bridal party change...for a legitimate reason?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal party change...for a legitimate reason? : Me too. I would talk to your dad and make sure he is on board (this is his neice, and the child of his sibling, correct?) and then drop her from the WP and the guestlist. Worse things than stealing have been done and forgiven in families, but so have worse things than being kicked out of the WP.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

So would I.  Stealing is criminal behavior, which I think does allow a bride or groom to drop the wedding party member in question.  In and of itself it's friendship-killing behavior, so a bride or groom should be able to throw out a thief.

misssunshine17

OP, sorry you've been dealt with this crazy girl. Ditto PPs. I think you should not have to in the wedding. Maybe it'll be the lesson for her that she can't get away with the behavior. 

kmmssg

She is toxic and she has stolen - and not just 20 bucks out of your dad's wallet.  She went after his livelyhood too.  I don't see any problem in the world with kicking her out because I would make sure she would not be part of my life.  She tried to ruin your dad - I'd be done with her.

BMG2013

Thanks everyone. I have no intention of replacing her, just am not sure how to tell her she's out. It definitely is difficult because she is family (I will probably still have to invite her) but I feel a lot better knowing that people agree with me that she can't be in the bridal party.

Carson386

I agree with everyone else. Give her the boot and find a way to lock your card box and possibly try to either have someone near it (that can be trusted) or place it in an area that people will notice someone goign through the box. We have people inmy family that like to steal money and are locking our card box and my step father will be near it until everyone is in, then he is locking it in his vehicle.