What should I give?

Starqueg

My FI and I are attending the wedding of friends late this summer.  We've already RSVPed, and are looking forward to it.  I looked at their website after we got the STD and the only registry is a honeymoon fund.  I sort of scoffed at it, and figured that I'd give a donation to the organization (which is one of the options).  I have no interest in paying for their lodging, meals, or alcohol (also options).  I know how they work, and that it's really just asking for cash, hence the donation instead.  Anyway, the bride's status on FB right now is crowdsourcing honeymoon location recommendations.  It also says that she hurt her ankle, so maybe they had to cancel the trip, but I don't know.  Personally, I think they're just hoping to take the trip one day, not any specific date because they don't have the money to go unless we all chip in.  

So, my question is, what should I give?  Should I still give a donation to the organization?  

CN: Wedding registry for friends is only for a honeymoon fund to a specific location, bride is currently crowd sourcing honeymoon locations on FB.  I planned to donate to the organzation listed on the registry as my gift, still a good idea?

Simply Fated

I would definitely skip the HM fund. I mean, you know they probably won't even be taking the trip and even if they do, what ever you give them, they won't be getting all of.

I'm not a big fan of donation registries, either. 

If you like giving money, I'd bypass those donations and HM funds and just cut a check. if you'd rather not fund either of those things, perhaps a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond or some great, new towels or something.

HandBanana

I would just do the card and a check per usual.

Kate61487

Give a donation to what organization?  it makes it sound like you can make a donation to the company they did the HM registry through the way you worded it.

I'd probably just write a check b/c cash is our go-to gift for a wedding.  If you're not comfortable with that, or want to make a point about a HM registry being rude then buy them something off registry like PP suggested.

bonge

I would either just do a gift, or a check. Whatever is normal for you. 

I had a registry which some used for ideas for gifts for the shower (then i took off, no duplicate gifts at all) but we got almost all cash, people were generous. Most give cash nowadays don't they?

Starqueg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-should-i-give?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e36f9a6d-e72d-4018-b612-3ed322a7c6f9Post:5c638387-a8b2-40bb-aaf4-fe385482d726">Re: What should I give?</a>:
[QUOTE]Give a donation to what organization?  it makes it sound like you can make a donation to the company they did the HM registry through the way you worded it. I'd probably just write a check b/c cash is our go-to gift for a wedding.  If you're not comfortable with that, or want to make a point about a HM registry being rude then buy them something off registry like PP suggested.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]
<div>No, not to the company that did the HM registry.  I didn't realize it sounded that way.  I was being vague on purpose on the off chance that the bride, or any of the other guests are on this site.  Although I doubt the bride is given her choice of gift.  </div><div>Anyway, the location of the trip is a place of scientific importance that has a non-profit set up.  The funds would go towards maintaining the site and caring for animals.  </div><div>
</div><div>I guess giving them a check would work.  It sure beats clicking the box to provide them with lodging at a place they may never visit.</div>

Nickie431

An off-registry gift idea that I like (though have not yet ever given) is a "date night" via a gift card to a nice restaurant in their area and tickets to an area attraction.  Depending on their interests, this could range from the symphony to a sporting event.  (Often you can purchase passes through ticket venues that can then be redeemed by them fora convenient date.)  Especially if they're not able to take a HM due to an injury, this might be something they'd enjoy without you catering to the HM fund.  Though it's popular among gift-givers and recipients alike, I dislike giving money, because it seems less personal to me.