Not Invited Guests Want to Throw a Party - HELP!

blythegridley

Ladies, I need your advice on how to best handle this sticky situation. I am getting married in the city where I have lived for 8 years now and not my home town. As a matter of fact, I'm not really inviting many people from my home town at all. 

However, many of my neighbors from growing up and some of my school-aged friends parent's have reached out to my mom saying that they would like to have a party or shower for me. I am not inviting them (nor the school-aged friends as I have lost touch with most of them) to the wedding and feel a little uncomfortable about allowing them to throw me a party. I'm starting to feel obligated to invite them and I just can't...I am at my site's capacity as is.

One other thing to mention is that my home town is a 4 hour drive from where I currently live, so it would be a full weekend commitment for me and I'm just about out of available weekends.

Anyone else have a similar situation happen or advice on how to handle? I'd love to hear your perspective. Thanks in advance!!

Habs2Hart

You can decline, and I would.  Tell them that it is sweet of them to offer, but you are just really busy and don't have a weekend free anymore. 

kcscejal

Just decline the party.

achiduck

I would politely decline this.

LovinLong11

I never say no to a party.

aragx6

It sounds like you really need to decline this -- both from an etiquette and a time perspective.

Buit since it seems they care about you, why not tell them you'd love to have a get-together back home once all the wedding craziness has subsided?

MelissaAnne88

I would decline.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-guests-want-throw-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e465c216-1416-428b-926c-0d417c74e1b6Post:7ce5c88b-0ccb-4716-895e-02e141cfae9d">Re: Not Invited Guests Want to Throw a Party - HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I never say no to a party.
Posted by LovinLong11[/QUOTE]

Ugh. Go away.

Ditto the other (sane & polite) PP's - you're free to decline the party, but thank them graciously for offering.

em01092

Yep, just politely decline. Say you are busy but you appreciate it. I also like the idea of getting together after the wedding. Only mention the fact that you are keeping the wedding intimate (as in, not inviting them) if absolutely necessary. It may be, because it sounds like some of these people are sort of assuming they will be invited. Obviously you don't want to bring out that card unless you have to though. 

Brandiewine11

Just politely decline and suggest that you just have a low-key GTG next time you are home after the wedding to catch up.

blythegridley

Thank you to everyone who posted. You have confirmed my original thinking. Best wishes to everyone on their upcoming weddings!!

AbbeyS2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-guests-want-throw-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e465c216-1416-428b-926c-0d417c74e1b6Post:ed1eadc5-2ffd-492c-85e4-05a8359522ce">Re: Not Invited Guests Want to Throw a Party - HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like you really need to decline this -- both from an etiquette and a time perspective. Buit since it seems they care about you, why not tell them you'd love to have a get-together back home once all the wedding craziness has subsided?
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

I was thinking the same thing.  Tell them you would love to get together after the wedding but you are tied up until then. 

hcontreras3

I remember my sister's fellow employees threw her a shower. She was really uncomfortable with it since only about 2 of them were invited (two that she went to school w/). But that may be a little different.

I would have to say decline and mention that you are grateful but can't. Sorry, good luck!

jmucheech21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-invited-guests-want-throw-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e465c216-1416-428b-926c-0d417c74e1b6Post:6e57b36c-488d-4a0f-9c3a-051b167e3351">Re: Not Invited Guests Want to Throw a Party - HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I remember my sister's fellow employees threw her a shower. She was really uncomfortable with it since only about 2 of them were invited (two that she went to school w/). But that may be a little different. I would have to say decline and mention that you are grateful but can't. Sorry, good luck!
Posted by hcontreras3@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

I agree, I do think that is a little different.  I think most work places do some kind of shower/acknowledgement.  I've worked at 2 different elementary schools and both always have done wedding showers, but I think everyone knows there is no way the whole staff could ever be invited to the wedding.