Mrs. or Ms???

kedaugs

Fh's sister in law kept her maiden name. How do I address the invites?

Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Kate Jones?

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith?

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Kate Jones?

Thanks in advance lovely brides!

Calypso1977

She'd probably prefer Ms. Kate Jones and Mr. John Smith, but technically, she is Mrs. John Smith.

no she is not.  i dont have my husband's name therefore i am NOT Mrs. John Smith.

the proper way is Ms. Kate Jones and Mr. John Smith, all on one line.  the "and" signifies married.

Lyss5782

I work with a woman who kept her name, and she corrects you if you call her Mrs. MaidenName.  She prefers Ms.

pirategal03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mrs-ms-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e49d54a3-9901-469b-96ab-1ca48acaedcfPost:c9dcd24a-e15b-4938-9d5a-cf8fbbc2762a">Re: Mrs. or Ms???</a>:
[QUOTE]Lady first: Ms. Kate Jones and Mr. John Smith
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]


This is correct.

Mrs. denotes that the woman is the wife/mistress of the named person.  Since she can't be her own wife, she can't be Mrs. Kate Jones. 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mrs-ms-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e49d54a3-9901-469b-96ab-1ca48acaedcfPost:06feafad-145b-4aef-8088-b0edc9570d04">Re: Mrs. or Ms???</a>:
[QUOTE]She'd probably prefer Ms. Kate Jones and Mr. John Smith, but technically, she is Mrs. John Smith. no she is not.  i dont have my husband's name therefore i am NOT Mrs. John Smith. the proper way is Ms. Kate Jones and Mr. John Smith, all on one line.  the "and" signifies married.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  If she didn't change her name, she's not Mrs. John Smith, technically or otherwise.  </div>

brookelynpaisley

I see your point, but Mrs. means "wife of." She is still his wife, even if she didn't take his name.

Albireo

Some people like Mrs. but I've never heard anyone insulted by Ms.

Mrs. John Smith is ridiculously out of date. She has her own name, and if she kept her own last name I think she would rather not be called by his name and would probably also prefer Ms.

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mrs-ms-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e49d54a3-9901-469b-96ab-1ca48acaedcfPost:9b7c6c69-ee15-488b-8ac1-8feed894a9c9">Re: Mrs. or Ms???</a>:
[QUOTE]I see your point, but Mrs. means "wife of." Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

Where are you getting that information? I've seen people on the Knot say that, but I've never seen a source for it and as far as I can tell, it's simply not true. I'd be really curious if anyone can point to where they're getting that information.

At any rate, she is Ms. Jane Doe, technically or otherwise. Jane Doe is her name and it would be incorrect and insulting to address her as anything else.   

brookelynpaisley

Eh, I can't find it. I agree that if she's kept her name, Ms. is appropriate. I personally, however prefer Mrs. Dan Lastname. But then I took his name. Some would prefer Mrs. Hername Lastname. So it's all a matter of preference. Certainly not something I want to argue about, especially considering it's a personal matter.

Calypso1977

if id taken my husbands name i'd have no problem with Mr. and Mrs. John Smith because in my opinion, that's what you agree to when you take yoru husbands name.

However, if i were being addressed singly in a situation where i had my husbands name, i dont like Mrs. John Smith even tho its technically proper.  i'd rather be addressed Jane Smith or Mrs. Jane Smith.

and yes, i've never heard that "mrs" means "wife of" either.

boogerbearoriginal

According to Dictionary.com Mrs. is the abbreviation for Mistress and is the title given to a married woman. Therefore if she is married, she should technically be titled Mrs. MaidenName. However some women prefer Ms. as it doesn't indicate marriage, it is simply the title used for addressing a female.

You should use whichever the lady prefers as both are perfectly acceptable. If you say Mrs. John Doe that is likely to offend her but as long as you use her name the title shouldn't cause an issue.

flamingtwig72

I'm not sure where everyone else is getting their information, but the man's name is always listed first, no matter what. And her name should be Mrs. Jane maiden name. Technically, Ms. is meant to be the polite option to use when you don't know whether or not a woman is married.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mrs-ms-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e49d54a3-9901-469b-96ab-1ca48acaedcfPost:2608be2f-4f4f-49e7-9d62-2a3872812762">Re: Mrs. or Ms???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure where everyone else is getting their information, but the man's name is always listed first, no matter what. And her name should be Mrs. Jane maiden name.<strong> Technically, Ms. is meant to be the polite option to use when you don't know whether or not a woman is married.</strong>
Posted by flamingtwig72[/QUOTE]

<div>No.  Ms. was invented to be a female version of Mr.  It doesn't matter whether you know her marital status or not, Ms. is correct for any adult woman, regardless of marital status, the same as Mr. is correct for all men.  </div>

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mrs-ms-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e49d54a3-9901-469b-96ab-1ca48acaedcfPost:2608be2f-4f4f-49e7-9d62-2a3872812762">Re: Mrs. or Ms???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure where everyone else is getting their information, but the man's name is always listed first, no matter what. And her name should be Mrs. Jane maiden name. Technically, Ms. is meant to be the polite option to use when you don't know whether or not a woman is married.
Posted by flamingtwig72[/QUOTE]

I'd be really curious where you're getting your information because you're completely wrong on  both counts.

The woman goes first always when the names are separated or if there are just first and last names, no titles. See Crane's, the go-to in etiquette. Or well, any other etiquette source.

"Technically" Ms. can be used for any woman married or not. Many married women who change their name choose to go by Mrs., which is pretty much the default. Most married women who choose to keep their own names choose to go by Ms., though of course there are always exceptions. Again, see Crane's or any other etiquette source.