We're 6 weeks away from the wedding. Its a very casual wedding due to budget and our own personal low key existence, but to be honest, all I care about is marrying the man of my dreams.. However, there is a little etiquette issue on his side of the family, that I am feeling a bit put off by, and I know that I shouldn't, but can't seem to shake the feeling, so I thought I would ask everyone here for a good dose of reality!
So my fiance's grandfather (FFIL's dad) died after the invitations went out. (Mind you, I have only met these grandparents 1 time in the 7 yrs we have been together, and my fiance was not particularly close with him) Now his step-grandmother is planning to hold a memorial luncheon the Thursday before our Sat wedding. We have suggested to them that it would be much easier for us to attend (as well as my FMIL) if they held the lunch on Sunday or Monday after the wedding, given that we're doing most of the wedding DIY (as in: the flowers are being delivered Thursday so that I can make our own fresh flower bouquets! Oh, and I will be making side dishes up a storm with my FMIL that day Friday is for finishing bouquest and bout's to make sure we got everything together *was hoping for a mani but thats unlikely..* and get whatever we can packed into cars so I can go to my hair appt Sat am without feeling too too rushed). For some reason, the family (mostly the out of town relatives who my fiance has not seen them/talked with them in over a decade) thinks that doing it right before the wedding is just the best idea.
I admit, I was a little bummed that the whole memorial lunch was putting a sense of grief into our happy occasion, but I'm sensible enough to have gotten over that pretty quickly due to my love for logic. And while I get that it makes (totally logical!!!) sense for all of the out of town family, including the step grandmother, to have this luncheon while everyone is in town, I cannot help feeling that they are being inconsiderate in not taking into consideration that we would like to be included, but they are planning it in a way in which we can't!!
My inclination is to go if they schedule it so that I can go, but not to try and straess myself out too much in the days leading up to the wedding. The hardest part for me is that I want to get to know this side of the family so that perhaps we can form some stronger bonds, but i am very put off at they way they are going about this.. Not to mention that they have not even so much as called myself or my fiance (our phone number is on the map w directions to the venue) but they have been communicating only through my FMIL.
You know, I'm not sure how much of thispost is to vent or to ask general thoughts, but I feel much better having shared this question with all of you lovely brides out there and I look forward to reading your thoughts!! How would you feel about/ handle this situation?