Rehearsal Dinner

cnh31

So I know I have to invite spouses to rehearsal dinner but what about boyfriends/girlfriends.  I would definitely include live in ones but I don't think it is necessary to invite non live in ones.  Is that ok?

misshart00

In Response to Re:Rehearsal Dinner:[QUOTE]So I know I have to invite spouses to rehearsal dinner but what about boyfriends/girlfriends.nbsp; I would definitely include live in ones but I don't think it is necessary to invite non live in ones.nbsp; Is that ok? Posted by cnh31[/QUOTE]

All SOs need to be included. Just because someone chooses not to live together doesn't make them any less serious.

AddieCake

Ditto PPs. It's a courtesy to invite boyfriends and girlfriends. Wouldn't you want that courtesy extended to you in that situation?  We went out of pizza for our RD. It wasn't that expensive, and everyone had a great time. 

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:Rehearsal Dinner:[QUOTE]So I know I have to invite spouses to rehearsal dinner but what about boyfriends/girlfriends.nbsp; I would definitely include live in ones but I don't think it is necessary to invite non live in ones.nbsp; Is that ok? Posted by cnh31[/QUOTE]
Couples who live together aren't neccesarily more serious or even more committed than nonlive in couples.

LaSak87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-80?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4dc566c-bda2-4413-83f7-65819b1ba76cPost:74dbe7ac-8c8b-47d8-826c-c57c79e5e5ad">Re:Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Rehearsal Dinner: Couples who live together aren't neccesarily more serious or even more committed than nonlive in couples.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
This.  H and I were engaged before we started living together.  Soo...we weren't serious then?

CallaLily25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-80?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4dc566c-bda2-4413-83f7-65819b1ba76cPost:0dd540c8-f476-4ba7-b807-e62c632ffa12">Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]So I know I have to invite spouses to rehearsal dinner but what about boyfriends/girlfriends.  I would definitely include live in ones but I don't think it is necessary to invite non live in ones.  Is that ok?
Posted by cnh31[/QUOTE]

Invite ALL significant others. It isn't your place to judge which relationships are "serious" enough.

cnh31

In general I wasn't judging who was serious and who wasn't.  I honestly don't care.  And it isn't a financial thing.  There were just 3 particular people in the wedding who I know are having more of a hook up relationship.  Which is fine, I don't care what they do but me and my fiancee were saying these aren't people that we have met or that they really bring around so we thought it was kind of odd to invite them.  I still do but I guess when it comes down to it I could care less if they are there, just don't know why they would really want to be but whatever!

CallaLily25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-80?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4dc566c-bda2-4413-83f7-65819b1ba76cPost:3506bc00-10bb-49a2-a44f-de5a374d0f12">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In general I wasn't judging who was serious and who wasn't.  I honestly don't care.  And it isn't a financial thing.  There were just 3 particular people in the wedding who I know are having more of a hook up relationship.  Which is fine, I don't care what they do but me and my fiancee were saying these aren't people that we have met or that they really bring around so we thought it was kind of odd to invite them.  I still do but I guess when it comes down to it I could care less if they are there, just don't know why they would really want to be but whatever!
Posted by cnh31[/QUOTE]

I see where you're coming from, but I'd just extend the invite and go from there. That way you know that you're being courteous and if they choose not to come, then it's on them.

libby2483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-80?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4dc566c-bda2-4413-83f7-65819b1ba76cPost:3506bc00-10bb-49a2-a44f-de5a374d0f12">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In general I wasn't judging who was serious and who wasn't.  I honestly don't care.  And it isn't a financial thing.  <strong>There were just 3 particular people in the wedding who I know are having more of a hook up relationship.</strong>  Which is fine, I don't care what they do but me and my fiancee were saying these aren't people that we have met or that they really bring around so we thought it was kind of odd to invite them.  I still do but I guess when it comes down to it I could care less if they are there, just don't know why they would really want to be but whatever!
Posted by cnh31[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, I don't think you have to invite anyone's f*ck buddy.  But, if your WP members consider themselves to be in a relationship with those people, as in acknowledging those people as a boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others, they should be invited.  </div><div>
</div><div>Edit: If it were me, I would just invite them and let the WP members decide whether to bring them or not, but according to etiquette you don't *have* to if they don't consider themselves to be in a relationship.</div>

cnh31

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-80?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4dc566c-bda2-4413-83f7-65819b1ba76cPost:30705ab2-3882-4f39-85ee-e15ed8b8983f">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner : FYI, the first bolded sounds pretty judgy, so if you don't mean it that way, you should rephrase it. I'd be annoyed if my friend called a guy I was dating "more of a hookup relationship" unless I called it that first. As for the second, they might not want to and decline. H's cousin invited me to her rehearsal dinner, but H went and I declined so I could spend more time with my fam since we were only in town for the weekend and would be seeing his for the actual wedding. Even though I didn't want to go, I would have been insulted if she didn't invite me.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

I don't think it needs rephrased, I said it wasn't judgy.  I think there is a clear difference, atleast with my friends who I know well, when someone is dating and someone is hooking up.  And again, I don't judge for hooking up.  I think that is something most people have done.  I just was thinking, as someone else stated, they are are probably not necessary to invite.  And I still think that.  I will anyway because really what is the difference in three people.  I'm also pretty sure they wouldn't come.  Thank you everyone who answered my question kindly.  I appreciate the feedback:-)

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-80?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4dc566c-bda2-4413-83f7-65819b1ba76cPost:1740a50f-0270-47da-b447-be51152ad23d">Re:Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Rehearsal Dinner: <strong>All SOs need to be included. Just because someone chooses not to live together doesn't make them any less serious.</strong>
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]
agree 100%

Jager1219

One thing that hasn't been said yet.  I'm assuming that you're inviting the SOs to the wedding.  So wouldn't it be logical that if the SO was coming to the wedding, that they'd be traveling with the BM for the RD?  And what would they do during the time that the BM were at the rehearsal and RD?  Sit in the hotel room by themselves?

cnh31

I was asking about a particular three. They are all local. No one would be sitting in a hotel room. 3 people out of a 20 person wedding party do not have a SO but I know all three happen to be hooking up with someone. Like I said, it really isn't I big deal to invite them, just wasn't sure if it was necessary. I know if I were just hooking up with someone I wouldn't go to a rehearsal dinner if a wedding he was in. I'll leave it up to them to decide. Obviously I know significant others need to be invited.

Peledreamsofrain

Eh, I think you are overthinking it.  Three isn't a massive number, just extend the invite and let the couple decide if they are 'just hooking up' or not.

If they decide to accompany each other to a wedding, that kind of answers itself.  It's not iron-clad, but usually taking a date to a wedding is subtly expressing that the relationship is more on the serious side.

cnh31

I know SOs need to be invited. I was unclear in my original post about the seriousness of these relationships. I don't think you need to live together to be serious, but in this circumstance they are not. I know this because they are my friends. But I do think its only 3 people so why not.