I had let my future FIL know that on the wedding day, the speeches that we were slating in were FOB (hosting), MOH, Best Man and FI (if he felt so inclined to say something) in that order, and then dinner would start.
I told FIL in a really nice way (in an email while going over the weekend's schedule, asking his opinion on processional things, rehearsal time, etc.) that he should speak at the rehearsal dinner (he's hosting) and if he wanted anyone else to speak to have them do so that night because the order above was what I wanted to write in for the actual wedding day toasts. Just FYI, one of the reasons I wanted my Dad to be the sole toaster (?) of the parents is that he is hosting and doesn't get to have moments like that (I have two brothers and he didn't give a toast).
FIL is now extremely hurt by the fact that I am "dictating to them how to act at their son's wedding" and wrote me a note saying so attached to an email signed by his wife. He also forwarded this note to my FI and my mother (who doesn't want anything to do with this whatsoever, obviously).
I have never had problems with my FILs before and, quite frankly, was stunned to receive this as a response to my email.
Thoughts? TIA