Wedding Etiquette Forum

Plus one etiquette.

First, I will confess that I am older than many brides here.  As such, I realize that my exposure to wedding etiquette is different (perhaps out of date) than most of yours.  That said, I am curious about the etiquette of inviting "plus ones."

At the time of my first wedding (1992), the rules of etiquette dictated that each guest involved in a significant relationship should receive an invitation addressed to them and their SO (defined as the person they'd been dating for a year at the time of the wedding, or someone they're living with or engaged to).  Random "plus ones" were never invited (as in Friend + Unknown Guest).

Fast forward to 2011, it seems this has morphed to sending an invitation to anyone a guest is dating -- no matter how new the relationship might be.  Is that truly the deal?  And, is the guideline a bit looser for members of the bridal party?  In other words, if a GM has been dating someone for 6 months when the wedding rolls around, should that person be invited?  What about random plus ones these days?

Re: Plus one etiquette.

  • What about a bridesmaid who is on her 2nd try with a guy I can't stand? I have a feeling he could be more trouble then not at the wedding. She is a very close friend of mine, but also very young. I have already informed her, that though there will be alcohol at the receoption, because she is under age, I do not want her to drink. I think it is fair, considering I can be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. However, her boyfriend told her (in front of me) he would sneak her in some vodka. I am worried. She knows I do not like him, and after they broke up 2 months ago after a 8month long relationship, I was relieved. I didnt think I would have to worry about it.. They are now back together, and she is taking his side. Do I cut her out as a bridesmaid? or do I just inform her he is not welcome? I'm not sure how to tackle this... I'm 3 months away from my wedding.
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