Change of plans, but not sure what to do

Kendall75

This is my first time posting anywhere, but I'm lost for ideas and thoughts.

My fiance and I are already living together and we were to be married in October 2010, with most of our guests coming from out of town. An unfortunate turn of events has left me without a job, and those same turn of events has also affected my parents financially, who were going to pay for the wedding. I already had a location and my dress is on the way (and I can't return it or stop the process). In order for me to have insurance, my finance and I have decided to get married in a couple of weeks in a court room by a JP. No big deal really, but it's my first (his second) wedding. We have already sent out STD cards, and I already have some wedding guests that have made their plans for the October weekend.

Most of my immediate family will be in town for the actual ceremony in a couple of weeks, and I plan to send out wedding announcements to all of those that we had sent STD cards to. But, we are still thinking of keeping the reception/party/celebration on the original October date.

Here are my questions:
I wasn't planning on having a shower anyway, so I wasn't planning on registering anywhere. And, since my fiance and I have combined our individual households, we really are not in need of anything. How do we handle the questions about gifts? Do we tell people not to bring them? Is sending out wedding announcements and then invites to a party in October acceptable? The party would now be just in our backyard with BBQ. Should we still have a wedding cake?

Just thoughts on ideas of ettiquette and how to handle this very non-traditional way of going about things, especially since it really isn't even an elopement.

Thanks!!
K

nhelene

I think you have the right idea.  You can still have a party.  You can have a big tiered white cake with a topper, you can wear your dress if you want.  You're stuck with it after all.  I'm assuming many of the people you sent STDs to are somewhat aware of your cicumstances.

  
If people ask you about gifts thank them and tell them you don't need anything. 

danieliza1127

I think it's fine to keep the original October date as a reception/party but if your immediate family members are coming to the JOP ceremony, you might want to go out to dinner or something afterward or have a cake at someone's home.

As far as registering or not, if you choose not to register and people ask, just say you didn't register.  You don't have to offer an explanation.  They'll either give you cash or just pick out their own gift for you.

If you send wedding announcements to those that received a STD, be sure that it's clear that the October reception is still happening.  They might think the whole thing is off if they just receive a wedding announcement.

Kristin789

Ditto Danieliza.

But wouldn't it be easier to get a job with insurance for you now, and then get married on your regular STD date in October?

aragx6

I think a more laid back backyard reception would be totally appropriate. I think that as long as you're not having a fake ceremony after you're already married, there's nothing wrong with throwing a celebration at a later, more convenient, date.

People will buy you presents no matter what you tell them, so I would still consider registering somewhere, or you might end up with some random things you're not in need of at all. I am sure you have a few things you'd like to upgrade!

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_change-of-plans-but-not-sure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e5e6a190-db81-42d7-a857-880feba2b839Post:5fda1e61-307f-49eb-acb4-f5b422013cb4">Re: Change of plans, but not sure what to do</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Danieliza. But wouldn't it be easier to get a job with insurance for you now, and then get married on your regular STD date in October?
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

It is definitely not easy for most people in most fields to find a new job right away, especially in this economy. 

Kristin&eric

you are on the right track. I think if you want a wedding cake you can, something small!! good luck and sorry to hear about that