Rules for writing vows?

fergie1566

We are at the 3 week point!

We are going to write our own vows.  There more we have been thinking about it we aren't sure if we should set "guidelines"  for them.

Length, how we want to start them, how many vows?  IDK

Any suggestions for those who have done their own vows or will do them.  How much did you share with each other about how you were writing them or gave each other guidelines to agree on

lacey3eb

We're starting this process as well and I found the Knot's article about vow riting to be helpful:  http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/20-tips-for-writing-your-own-wedding-vows.aspx

There are several other websites that come up with a Google search that I liked as well.  I think it's important to try for a similar length.  For us, we woul like to make similar promises to each other so I am compiling a list from websites and vows I've found online for us to go through.  Then we'll try to each create our own vows based on what we liked from the ideas we find. 

DramaGeek

We wrote together. We both said the same vows, but they were views we wrote.

lacey3eb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rules-for-writing-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e664d46d-abad-49c2-8a6e-2953eac4ad72Post:0535c35d-5219-4c48-be22-5fed827c0ecb">Re:Rules for writing vows?</a>:
[QUOTE]We wrote together. We both said the same vows, but they were views we wrote.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

We are contemplating this as well.  Did you both read them off a paper, memorize them, or have the officiate ask you to repeat them?

Kate61487

We used traditional vows, but I think setting some guidelines is  good idea.  Particulary length, you don't want to be talking for 5 min and then have him say two sentances :-)

Are you trying to keep them secret from each other?  Maybe take a 'traditional' vow format and agree to keep the format/rhythm but change the details?

MoonlightSilver

We wrote our own vows and kept them a secret from each other. We agreed on a style - a few sentences about our relationship, a few sentences about why we love each other, and then our vows to each other. We had our MOH and Best Woman read them both over, so that we knew they were similar and going to sound alright together. 

We sent them to the JOP before the wedding, and she had sheets for us to read off of. My DH actually changed his vows the day of the wedding, so he brought up a piece of paper with him and read off of that instead. I had changed a few lines too, but didn't have anywhere to hide the paper so I just said them the way I had originally written them. 

lauralaur

We didn't write our own vows, but I would suggest not trying to memorize them. You may find yourself caught up in the moment and forget them, or, were I you, I wouldn't want the pressure of having them memorized. My step-sister and her husband memorized theirs and when she recited hers it sounded... forced. Just my two cents though.

artbyallie

Mainly, you want to remember that they are vows. Not a speech about your H, but what you promise to him.

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rules-for-writing-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e664d46d-abad-49c2-8a6e-2953eac4ad72Post:c84de64c-d330-4044-817e-9ed85b6bc16a">Re:Rules for writing vows?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Rules for writing vows? : We are contemplating this as well.  Did you both read them off a paper, memorize them, or have the officiate ask you to repeat them?
Posted by lacey3eb[/QUOTE]

<div>We repeated ours.  I was up for memorizing but H wasn't and neither of us wanted to read them off a paper.</div><div>
</div><div>In case anyone cares, this is what we wrote:</div><div>
</div><div>NAME, I take you to be my wife/husband and partner forever.</div><div>I promise to love you in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.</div><div>I will share your joys and your sorrows, your laughter and your tears.</div><div>I promise to encourage and support you in all that you do,</div><div>caring for you as I care for myself.</div><div>I will love you without reservation and will honor and respect you</div><div>for the incredible person that you are.</div><div>I promise to be open and honest with you and</div><div>I will do my best to help you become the person God intends for you to be.</div><div>Throughout our lifetime together I will cherish you as my best friend.</div><div>This is my covenant to you and to God.</div>