Wedding Etiquette Forum

Friends Assume They're Bridesmaids

I have a group of 4 friends that I grew up with and we were all close throughout high school.  We still hang out when we're all back in town but we're not really close anymore.  I don't call them just to see how life is or to chat.  A year ago one was visiting and said "I better be a bridesmaid when you get married" (before I was engaged) and I just kind of laughed it off.  Another brought it up when she called me about something else the other day and said "I know we've been friends the longest but I understand if you don't pick me to be a bridesmaid because I live so far away".  I just told her I hadn't decided yet, because I hadn't.

I've now decided and I want 3 bridesmaids.  2 friends from college and 1 of those friends from home who I've always been the closest to.  Do I actually have to tell the other girls they're NOT bridesmaids?  Do I just tell them who the bridal party is?  Do I just wait for it to naturally happen when they see in on the wedding website or something?
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