Rehearsal Dinner not planned yet! Two months to go...

hutchandcurly

My FIL have agreed to pay for the rehearsal dinner however the place is still not picked  and we are two months out from the wedding date. I know she has looked into it but no decisions yet. Should I be nervous?

I have asked my FI to talk to his mother but nothing yet. What bothers me is everything seems to have a place/ location to be except this. I have put my foot down that this should be talked about between my FI and his parents and really shouldn't involve me but people would like to know where to be and all I can say is be at the church at 5:30.

And is it tacky to just call people or should invites be sent for the rehearsal dinner? Because my FMIL wants me to handle that too.

Mrs.B6302007

If they're hosting, they should really send out the invites.  However, that may be your way to get this settled.  You can always call them and say "I've purchased the invites for the RD and am ready to work on them this week.  I need to know location and time to put on the invites."

And I would do invites over phone calls so that you know it's in writing and that the information that the guests received is correct.  You can call and tell people time/date/location but that doesn't guarantee they'll write it down correctly if at all.

sarabellam

I wouldn't worry about it overly much. Depending on the formality of the RD, phone call invites would be fine.

sarabellam

B! I was kinda expecting that you wouldn't be around today. Dusting and doing floors definitely sounds like nesting to me.

Mrs.B6302007

Oh, and you can certainly wait another few weeks before doing this.  It's not something that has to be done right now.

Calypso1977

we just emailed everyone the location - formal invites are not necessary for the RD.

ours was booked very last minute, as we struggled to find a place that would accomodate such a small group (only 11 of us) on a friday night. 

dont stress - your guests wont go hungry, even if you have to just do pizza or something at the church or back at someones home.  you will eat.

hutchandcurly

Mrs B you look like your about to Pop! Congrats

I think sending  invites would be a good idea because we have wedding party guests that are coming literally across the states so the communication thing could get messed up. Should I call his mom or should I?

Calypso I have resided to the fact that we may just have a BBQ at our house at this rate because our RD is 30 people. And there are not many options at this point. I guess I am sick of hearing "So where is the RD?" or that STUPID red clock thing on TK telling me it is over due! lol BTW its the only overdue item! I checked four things off on Friday and one thing yesterday! Working on more today!

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-not-planned-yet-two-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6d72bd1-cb5d-444b-9183-5273db48b63dPost:cc3e268e-097d-49e1-a8ba-e7c29e7d72c0">Re: Rehearsal Dinner not planned yet! Two months to go...</a>:
[QUOTE]Mrs B you look like your about to Pop! Congrats
Posted by hutchandcurly[/QUOTE]

I feel like it, too. ;-)   Thanks for the congrats.

Calypso1977

a BBQ is a great idea!  and, its cost efficient.

however, id see if maybe your ILs would want to host though - i know i wouldnt want a large party at my house the night before my wedding.  but, if you have it at your house, you could always have it catered to help with some of the work and cleanup.

dont let the knot ticker get to you!  i had about 100 things that tehy said i "had to do" that we werent even doing period. 

if they all have email, you could do up a nice invite in word and email that so it would look a bit nicer.  but if you do want to do formal invites, there is still time.

i didnt even get my hair stylist booked until about 4 weeks before - that and the RD were the two hardest things for me, becuase no one would accomodate us (i had a morning wedding, so i needed someone early in the a.m. for hair).  i was a little concerned about these two items, but i knew in the end it would work out - even if we went the pizza route and i had my hair in a pony tail.

hutchandcurly

They are "too far" from the wedding site, a common "concern" I keep on hearing about...blah blah blah (my wedding not theirs) They are only 30 mins from us.

As for the knot ticker I just check off the things we aren't doing anyways just so I dont have to look at them.

michaelandjulie2

My wedding is in less than three weeks and we haven't send out the RD invitations yet. I really hope that they go out this week otherwise we will have some phone calls to make! However, all of the bridal party knows that we are having a rehearsal/dinner so they are just waiting on the details. I am sure if you mention it, they will expect to be at the rehearsal the day before. 

bel138

I didn't do invites for the rehearsal dinner. It wasn't at a formal place. When we told the WP about the rehearsal we just said, "Oh, and we're going out for dinner afterward. We don't know where yet, but we'll carpool." I think you're over thinking this.

B - I didn't expect you here either. I saw you were nesting yesterday, but didn't want to be all ZOMG! The baby is coming!!

Mrs.B6302007

Who knows how long I'll be here. =-)
Nothing's really happening so at this point, I want to make it through Wednesday so I donmt have to get a sub for the last 3 days of school.  I couldn't imagine how awful that would be for a sub and the admin team. Post planning I don't care about.  They'll let me come in a few weeks to finish my room and other responsibilities.

christyran1228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-not-planned-yet-two-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6d72bd1-cb5d-444b-9183-5273db48b63dPost:6445f281-2104-4b19-8167-7a39527f4cde">Re: Rehearsal Dinner not planned yet! Two months to go...</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't do invites for the rehearsal dinner. It wasn't at a formal place. When we told the WP about the rehearsal we just said, "Oh, and we're going out for dinner afterward. We don't know where yet, but we'll carpool." I think you're over thinking this.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]


That's what I've done ... our rehearsal is in the morning, over about lunch time, so I think I'll just go with "y'all just come over for pizza/chinese and help me finish the centerpieces!"   lol

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-not-planned-yet-two-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6d72bd1-cb5d-444b-9183-5273db48b63dPost:e4d4bef1-f574-45a8-953b-9512fd191f5c">Re: Rehearsal Dinner not planned yet! Two months to go...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner not planned yet! Two months to go... : That's what I've done ... our rehearsal is in the morning, over about lunch time, so I think I'll just go with "y'all just come over for pizza/chinese and help me finish the centerpieces!"   lol
Posted by christyran1228[/QUOTE]
The RD is about feeding and thanking your WP, not putting them to work.

squirrly

I didn't send out formal invites to the RD.  We had 21 or 22 people, and we just told everyone what restaurant and that it was immediately following the rehearsal. 

We did have the restaurant booked in January, though.  We did the RD on Thursday night, also.  It helped with costs and it let us do a welcome dinner/OOT BBQ at my parents house on Friday, which was really fun & I'm really glad we did that. 

christyran1228

"The RD is about feeding and thanking your WP, not putting them to work."


It's a small ceremony that's going to consist of the actual ceremony and a luncheon, a champagne toast and some cake.  There is no dance, no showers, no bachelorette parties and I have ten little centerpieces that consist of throwing some flowers in a vase, which I will do myself most likely anyway.

My wedding party consists of my son, father-in-law, daughter and best friend that I've had for 33 years.  But, thanks for the clarification.

emilyinchile

Ours was finalized a couple weeks beforehand, and we just let everyone know where it was since we only invited WP/readers + dates and our parents (20 people). I wouldn't let this one stress you out at all, as PP have said, the worst case scenario is that you do something informal at your place or even just make a normal reservation at a restaurant. You've got time.

Calypso1977

we had a small WP (just a best man and MOH) and an RD with 11 people.   i also didnt have showers and fancy pre-parties.  i still didnt put anyone to work. size of party or wedding doesnt mean you put folks to work.

vsgal

We booked our rehersal dinner two days before the event and told the wedding party, parents, grandparents and siblings  the logistics and timing the day before the rehersal.  Since we did not cater in, we could afford to wait until the last minute.  Honestly, you don't need to send out paper invites.  Just let the wedding party and whomever else when and where to show up via phone or email. 

christyran1228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-not-planned-yet-two-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6d72bd1-cb5d-444b-9183-5273db48b63dPost:81cc4c26-64c1-41a0-b84c-a9da46a25557">Re: Rehearsal Dinner not planned yet! Two months to go...</a>:
[QUOTE]we had a small WP (just a best man and MOH) and an RD with 11 people.   i also didnt have showers and fancy pre-parties.  i still didnt put anyone to work. size of party or wedding doesnt mean you put folks to work.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]


:lol @ putting  a few flowers in a few vases as "work".   That remark was originally intended as a light-hearted little joke anyway... I've done pretty much everything for this wedding with no help from anyone whatsoever.   But, judge away!  Not only is my WP getting lunch at wherever we decide to have it ... since we're getting married  on the 4th of July, we're also taking them to our house on the lake for bbq and beer and fireworks later that evening, in expense of a little privacy on our wedding night.  I don't think we're being all that selfish or unappreciative.  lol

Anyway, unless the OP is having a rehearsal dinner for 50 ... a few days notice shouldn't be too big of an issue.  I don't imagine it would be any different or more difficult  than getting together a large birthday dinner or something.