Two gift-related questions (XP)

PJSPJS

1) I was given a luncheon the day before our wedding. It wasn't a shower per se, but many of the guests gave me gifts. I'm thinking that I need to send separate thank yous for those gifts (i.e., I can't send one card thanking someone for my gift and also for our wedding gift). Right?
2) One of our wedding gifts was a book that is relevant only to me, not at all to the groom (it relates to my work). The couple who gave the gift have known the groom as long as they have known me, even though they are slightly closer to me. Isn't it poor form to give a wedding gift that is meant for only one member of the newlywed couple? Of course, I would never say anything about it, but I was surprised and feel kind of bad that my husband was not recognized at all by this gift.

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-gift-related-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e72188ce-2c9b-45b5-b6b1-1aeba4109f33Post:19c2903a-8701-4da2-9480-6cd65c713b32">Two gift-related questions (XP)</a>:
[QUOTE]1) I was given a luncheon the day before our wedding. It wasn't a shower  per se , but many of the guests gave me gifts. I'm thinking that I need to send separate thank yous for those gifts (i.e., I can't send one card thanking someone for my gift and also for our wedding gift). Right? 2) One of our wedding gifts was a book that is relevant only to me, not at all to the groom (it relates to my work). The couple who gave the gift have known the groom as long as they have known me, even though they are slightly closer to me. Isn't it poor form to give a wedding gift that is meant for only one member of the newlywed couple? Of course, I would never say anything about it, but I was surprised and feel kind of bad that my husband was not recognized at all by this gift.
Posted by PJSPJS[/QUOTE]

<div>(1)  Yes, you need to write separate thank you notes for gifts given at separate events.</div><div>
</div><div>(2) I'm surprised that you see that giving a gift that your husband isn't interested in as poor form.  I think the fact that they took the time to pick out a gift that is of interest to you is thoughtful and considerate.  I hope you don't hold this against them, or others that didn't give gifts your husband was interested in.</div>

lyndausvi

1) I would send a separate TY

2) Yes, I would say the gift should be for the both of you.  However, personally I don't think it's a big deal if it's not.  

My DH got something that was clearly for him (a golf club) and  I didn't give it much thought.   We (I) received something from Vera Bradley and a book called something like "train your husband like a dog" or something like that.    If anyone knows my DH you would know he would never carry around a Vera Bradley bag.    NDB

ETA - clarity.

PJSPJS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-gift-related-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e72188ce-2c9b-45b5-b6b1-1aeba4109f33Post:32677d00-78d1-410e-a256-01fc4e99e007">Re: Two gift-related questions (XP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Two gift-related questions (XP): (2) I'm surprised that you see that giving a gift that your husband isn't interested in as poor form.  I think the fact that they took the time to pick out a gift that is of interest to you is thoughtful and considerate.  I hope you don't hold this against them, or others that didn't give gifts your husband was interested in.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]
I really like the book they gave me, and I realize that any kind of gift is generous and heart-felt. I was just wondering how other people felt about this issue of a wedding gift that is clearly intended for only one member of the couple.

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-gift-related-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e72188ce-2c9b-45b5-b6b1-1aeba4109f33Post:652fb22a-a3cc-4e93-8169-5ad8178e4e10">Re: Two gift-related questions (XP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two gift-related questions (XP) : I really like the book they gave me, and I realize that any kind of gift is generous and heart-felt. I was just wondering how other people felt about this issue of a wedding gift that is clearly intended for only one member of the couple.
Posted by PJSPJS[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, I'd usually try to pick something out that was intended for both, but when I bought my friend and her husband baking sheets and a food processor off their registry, I honestly didnt think he'd be using them much...I think it doesn't really matter much what the gift is, even if it;s clearly geared more towards one half of the couple (though it would be nice if it were for both).</div>

PJSPJS

Great point, freebread. We did get a fair number of kitchen items that I will probably use more than he will! The book doesn't seem so strange a choice to me now. Thank you!

emeejeeayen

I would be entirely weirded out if you sent me 2 thank you notes for gifts given 1 day apart. Don't waste paper. Don't waste money. Don't waste time. 

[Deleted User]

1. I am under the impression you are suppose to give seperate thank you notes as though it were a shower. If however it is super close to the wedding date you may be able to get away with giving one for both at that time. 2. I don't think it was in poor taste, its like my guy put power tools on our registry and that is only benefiting him in my eyes and thats fine. I wanted new bakeware that I am surr he will never touch! Lol when it comes to gifts in my book its always the thought thar counts and they thought about what you were particularly interested in. No harm done.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-gift-related-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e72188ce-2c9b-45b5-b6b1-1aeba4109f33Post:19c2903a-8701-4da2-9480-6cd65c713b32">Two gift-related questions (XP)</a>:
[QUOTE]1) I was given a luncheon the day before our wedding. It wasn't a shower  per se , but many of the guests gave me gifts. I'm thinking that I need to send separate thank yous for those gifts (i.e., I can't send one card thanking someone for my gift and also for our wedding gift). Right? 2) One of our wedding gifts was a book that is relevant only to me, not at all to the groom (it relates to my work). The couple who gave the gift have known the groom as long as they have known me, even though they are slightly closer to me. Isn't it poor form to give a wedding gift that is meant for only one member of the newlywed couple? Of course, I would never say anything about it, but I was surprised and feel kind of bad that my husband was not recognized at all by this gift.
Posted by PJSPJS[/QUOTE]

<div>I strongly recommend separate thank yous for separate events.</div><div>
</div><div>In terms of our gifts: One couple gave us two items. One was for both of us, and one was a book that was very clearly meant for DH. I didn't find it weird at all, but the couple was also dear family friends from his side.</div><div>
</div><div>Please don't judge your friends or feel weird that the gift is more your thing than his. It's just a gift.</div>

Jen4948

I'd send separate thank-yous.

As for getting gifts that only one of you is interested in, that happens with couples sometimes. People can't read minds, so I wouldn't assume it was "poor form" or any kind of deliberate insult.  I'd let it go.

PJSPJS

Thank you, everyone!