I want to go Bridezilla!!! Any Suggestions!

dramabooks

I get it, I will chill out!!  Thanks Everyone!!

Nebb

Do it, you totally should. Remember to stamp your feet when you do it, for additional affect.

Brie2010

Learn the phrase, "Thanks!  We'll think about it. So, how 'bout those Vikings?"

Seriously, people offering their opinions is not that big a deal.  Change the subject and move on, and don't bring up the subject of the wedding with people.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-bridezilla-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e759868d-e4d6-478d-8a03-e8d78153db46Post:b7cc4f26-3b62-491a-9256-422594355f3c">I want to go Bridezilla!!! Any Suggestions!</a>:
[QUOTE]     My FI and I are trying to plan our wedding with what we like, and what we want.  Our problem is with people telling us what to do and what not to do.      For example, we are working on finding a place to hold the reception, and the one place we are excited to check out, a family friend flat out told us not to even bother checking out this place because she was there years ago for something and said the food was horrible.  Now, that is good to know.. but it was years ago, so how does she know the food hasn't changed.  We're not idiots, we're going to taste the food before we book the place, but the fact that she just totally put us down for even wanting to look into the place made me want to go Brideszilla on her ass.  I controlled myself.     Another example is that one of my Bridesmaids is bitching about everything from the fact that she is a red head and has to wear a red dress... or when I said we're using Roses, her exact words were "ewww... don't use roses"  I like roses, they're classic.     I just want to say "It is Our wedding, not yours, so we will do what WE want."   Help!   Any suggestions on how not to go Bridezilla on these people!!!
Posted by dramabooks[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>JIC

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**Mutley**

If you know what the two of you want to do, then why do you care what others think?  I can see how it would be somewhat annoying to be excited about something and only have someone be a downer about it.  However, you are letting these people have too much control over how you feel. 

A) Nobody cares about your wedding like you do. 
They probably think they are helping. 
C) Grow a thicker skin.  Nobody said anything mean to you.

thesuninherhead

Just ignore them and try to get used to it. Trust me, I'm sure this won't be the last of the unsolicited advice you're going to be given about your wedding/life. Learn to be assertive when someone says something that offends you, but don't fly off the handle about it. 

aggiebug

sounds like you need to stop discussing details with those that don't need to know!  Your bridesmaid included.  Just say hey here is the dress get fitted here, she can get the bouquet when she gets to the wedding.

tlv204

Just wait until they try to tell you when to have kids and how to raise them.

MeaghanandMichael

I think you are really overreacting. People are always going to have an opinion, and in most cases it is going to be different than yours. You are in for one hell of a planning year if you keep letting these things stress you out so much. There is no reason to freak on any one. I would suggest perhaps taking input from the bridesmaid's on their dress seriously though, as a gesture of friendship. In all other cases, just take a deep breath and move on.

MeaghanandMichael

Also - don't make the mistake of asking for advice and expecting only to hear what you want to hear in return. If my friend asks me if I like her favors I am going to give her a polite but honest answer.

sarah0725

I think you should nap more often.

dramabooks

Thanks!!!  In response to Aggiebug, I did tell my FI that I won't say anything about flowers to his sister anymore (the above mentioned bridesmaid) and when I hand her the bouquet of roses, then she'll know that I don't care that she doesn't like roses, and it's too late to complain now!  And I didn't bring up the wedding with the other lady, we were at a b-day party, and my FMIL was there and brought it up to her (ugh).  I didn't want to talk about it, my FI and I did all kinds of wedding stuff the day before and agreed not to talk wedding that day, but as I said the FMIL brought it up! 

saisongbird

Bean dip. Bean dip bean dip bean dip.

dramabooks

I'm not ASKING for the advice on the stuff!!  That's the problem!!  And about the dress, the Bridesmaid wants to wear GREEN... I'm not being picky about the style of dress, but I want them to all wear the same color!! and she wants to wear GREEN!!! 

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-bridezilla-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e759868d-e4d6-478d-8a03-e8d78153db46Post:0399fe4a-3032-4b48-92ef-2a9bc2629bc7">Re: I want to go Bridezilla!!! Any Suggestions!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not ASKING for the advice on the stuff!!  That's the problem!!  And about the dress, the Bridesmaid wants to wear GREEN... I'm not being picky about the style of dress, but I want them to all wear the same color!! and she wants to wear GREEN!!! 
Posted by dramabooks[/QUOTE]

Really, hon, you need to calm down. When people hear you are getting married, generally they decide it's an excuse to give you all sorts of dumb advice. Some of my highlights included one of my friends who is in the wedding party telling me she "only looks good in certain shades of red" and I better pick one which is good on her, and my FMIL's stupid pushy friend offering to let me borrow her daughter's used wedding dress. But the thing is, if you don't develop a way to laugh at these people rather than getting mad at them, you are going to go crazy. So develop a sense of humor, and fast.

MissIntentional

i try not to talk about my plans except to my sister. i've learned nobody else gives a fick.

[Deleted User]

You need to chill out. People are going to continue to give you unsolicited advice because they think they are helping you. It's really not that big of a deal and spazing out over it is just silly.

MeaghanandMichael

OK!!! Thanks for setting me STRAIGHT!!! ahhhhhhh


::spins off planet::

saisongbird

Ok, Drama, you are beginning to live up to your handle.  Take a deep breath and calm down.

I suggested bean dip.  Brie suggested it too.  Bean dipping is when the person wedding bugging you says something like, "I think you should do XYZ," and since you don't like the idea or don't want to answer rudely, you say, "Thanks for the suggestion.  FI and I will think about it.  So tell me, what's going on with the random topic in YOUR life right now?"

ThePinkSuperhero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-bridezilla-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e759868d-e4d6-478d-8a03-e8d78153db46Post:0399fe4a-3032-4b48-92ef-2a9bc2629bc7">Re: I want to go Bridezilla!!! Any Suggestions!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not ASKING for the advice on the stuff!!  That's the problem!!  And about the dress, the Bridesmaid wants to wear GREEN... I'm not being picky about the style of dress, but I want them to all wear the same color!! and she wants to wear GREEN!!! 
Posted by dramabooks[/QUOTE]

Well, she is a redhead, yes?  Have you taken how good she's going to look wearing the red you've picked out into consideration?  I'd be mad if someone picked a color I looked awful in (like an olive green) with no consideration of my feelings.

dramabooks

In response to

"OK!!! Thanks for setting me STRAIGHT!!! ahhhhhhh"



Sorry, didn't mean to sound mean...  I was freaking out at the thought of a green dress with the other girls wearing red, it would look like Christmas haha!! 

Thanks everyone!!!  I will work on staying calm and letting the dumb stuff go in one ear and out the other! 

dramabooks

The thing about the red head Bridesmaid... she's not even like Bright Red, more strawberry blonde!   Also, she wore the same shade of red (Apple from David's Bridal) in her cousin's wedding afew years ago, and my FI said she never said a word about it, and she was a red head then too!  haha... 

saisongbird

You really like exclamation points, don't you...

**Mutley**

Let it go.  Seriously. 

If she keeps complaining about it, I would have your FI talk to her.  Maybe she is trying to get out of being in the wedding party. 

dramabooks

I like the Bean Dip advice!  I am good at doing that!  I will def. use that!! 

dramabooks

Thanks everyone.  yes, I do like exlamation points, but I will cut back haha. 

sarabear23

Chill. OUT.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

One of my BMs is a redhead, but I knew going in that she would not wear red, pink, lime green, orange, yellow, white, cream or champagne. I considered a dark red for the BM dresses but decided to not make her miserable. 

You need to reach a compromise between making your friends and family hate you and achieving the vision you have set for you wedding. If it is something you will NOT notice on the day of the wedding, won't offend your guests, or won't cause you to go over budget, let it go. 

dramabooks

Everyone is right, if I freak out then I'll just look like and idiot, and that's what I don't want.  I do just tend to be oversensative about things, and I will work on it.  I should be more like my FI, he is really good about just shrugging things off, and he's been telling me to do the same, it's just hard for me, I take everything to heart, but like Mutley said, I just need to have a thicker skin!  I need to also realize that this stuff isn't going to matter in the end, what really matters is that I'll be married to the man I love with all my heart, and that is the most important part of the whole day!

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-bridezilla-suggestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e759868d-e4d6-478d-8a03-e8d78153db46Post:2802c5e4-a904-4088-84c5-1b204636ed1a">Re: I want to go Bridezilla!!! Any Suggestions!</a>:
[QUOTE]Bean dip. Bean dip bean dip bean dip.
Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]

ahhhh, where's ffmaid when you need her?

sucrets4

Chill.  Seriously. 

And never get pregnant.  I cannot tell you how much unsolicited advice I get on a daily basis.  I just smile and agree and shrug it off, but your head would have exploded by now.

GL.