Wedding Etiquette Forum

Unwanted guests: family dogs

Hi all,

First off, I love animals! I've had all sorts of furry and hoved creatures during my life, but this is one event I don't need to worry about dogs jumping on people, going after food, etc.

Here's the situation. We're planning to wed at my fiance's grandparents house and have the reception there as well. It's a large place with a huge yard that is on the bay. As this is a family holiday home, people typically bring their dogs (some times numbering in the 20s!).

As with children, getting a sitter can be difficult and costly, but I want to let guests know (just in case they lack common sense) that the dogs should be left at home or secured in the house.

Any suggestions on how I should spread the word?

Should I hire a dog sitter to watch over the dogs kept in the house and to walk them if need be away from the area where the guests are?

Any insights will be most appreciated! Thank you!
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Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs

  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    Well this is a question I've never seen on here!

    I would think you should just spread the news via word of mouth. 
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  • I think word of mouth will suffice. When your wedding comes up in conversation just bring up that it's a dog free day. No need for getting a dog sitter.
    image
  • You don't own the house. Does the owner of the house have a dog and do you think that the owner plans on bringing their dog?

    I honestly don't think you can dictate about dogs since you don't own the house. Do you expect all these people to leave their dogs at home alone and unattended? Should they incur boarding fees because you don't want to pay someone to attend to them at the reception?

    I think you should discuss the issue with the owner of the house and ask the owner if they think people intend on bringing their dogs. If so, I think you should work out a plan for the dogs at the reception.
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:01a82bbe-9f96-4191-b417-1844c81d09b9">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you expect all these people to leave their dogs at home alone and unattended? 
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes because I'm sure none of them ever leave the house for any other reason either...like going to work or to get groceries. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:f63d1efc-2495-4f4d-addc-4669435559d2">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs : Yes because I'm sure none of them ever leave the house for any other reason either...like going to work or to get groceries. 
    Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

    And also by PP logic, people should get to bring their dogs to any OOT wedding they attend?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:01a82bbe-9f96-4191-b417-1844c81d09b9">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you expect all these people to leave their dogs at home alone and unattended? Should they incur boarding fees because you don't want to pay someone to attend to them at the reception?
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    If this was at any other venue, the dogs wouldn't be invited. If you are a pet owner and you want to travel, you have to expect to make your own arrangements for your pet. I would never assume that I could bring my dog on a trip to someone's house, much less a wedding. It is one of those costs that is part of owning a pet.

    Any animals that belong to the owners of the house would obviously be allowed, but I don't think there is any reason to allow extended family to bring dogs to a wedding. If they want to bring the dog on the trip, then they can find a dogsitter for during the wedding.
    image
  • I didn't get the impression that this place was close to where all these people live. These people may be required to stay overnight.

    Anyways, you can't tell the owner of the house to ditch their own dog. If someone told me that I would tell them to rent a reception venue.
  • cenglecengle member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Ah, I thought this was going to be like an issue I had: my H's grandmother wanted to bring her dog to the ceremony and the reception, which took place in a church and banquet hall, respectively. But I digress...
    I think you should spread it via word of mouth, and maybe a little blurb about it on your website if you're having one? 
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:8911be97-091f-4bbe-9f12-4c2f3eda1c95">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE] Anyways, you can't tell the owner of the house to ditch their own dog. If someone told me that I would tell them to rent a reception venue.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think that the OP was insinuating that the owners of the house ditch their dog. She didn't even say that they HAD a dog.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:8911be97-091f-4bbe-9f12-4c2f3eda1c95">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't get the impression that this place was close to where all these people live. These people may be required to stay overnight.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    And again, what if they were attending an OOT wedding somewhere else?  They wouldn't expect to be able to bring their dogs to some random reception hall.  You're not making any sense.
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  • LMAO!!!! That is funny. No I don't think guests should bring their dogs to a church or regular venue.
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:b6429841-3f17-4702-b7f1-92e9c936b5b2">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]LMAO!!!! That is funny. No I don't think guests should bring their dogs to a church or regular venue.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    <div>Then how is this any different? Just because she has decided to get married at her grandparent's home doesn't make her wedding any different than if she got married in a church. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:01a82bbe-9f96-4191-b417-1844c81d09b9">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't own the house. Does the owner of the house have a dog and do you think that the owner plans on bringing their dog? I honestly don't think you can dictate about dogs since you don't own the house. <strong>Do you expect all these people to leave their dogs at home alone and unattended? Should they incur boarding fees because you don't want to pay someone to attend to them at the reception?</strong> I think you should discuss the issue with the owner of the house and ask the owner if they think people intend on bringing their dogs. If so, I think you should work out a plan for the dogs at the reception.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    This has to be one of the dumbest things I've seen on here.  And that's saying something.
    image
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    NOELLE!!!!! <3
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:455db1c4-b53a-4944-b954-43958099c27f">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs : This has to be one of the dumbest things I've seen on here.  And that's saying something.
    Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]


    seconded
  • SALT!  How ya doin' these days?
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  • I do think I'm making sense. The wedding is not taking place at a regular reception venue. If it was, then I would absolutedly say no dogs.

    But the norm is for family to bring their dogs to this place. This is a totally different situation. The bride can not unilaterally decide this. Its not her house and she isn't paying for it. She has to speak to the owner about this.

    Perhaps the owner didn't intend on having family bring their dogs and there is no issue. However, with the history of family bringing up to 20 dogs there, this is something the bride must discuss with the owner and be prepared to work something out as she honestly can not dictate.
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:01a82bbe-9f96-4191-b417-1844c81d09b9">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't own the house. Does the owner of the house have a dog and do you think that the owner plans on bringing their dog? I honestly don't think you can dictate about dogs since you don't own the house. Do you expect all these people to leave their dogs at home alone and unattended? Should they incur boarding fees because you don't want to pay someone to attend to them at the reception? I think you should discuss the issue with the owner of the house and ask the owner if they think people intend on bringing their dogs. If so, I think you should work out a plan for the dogs at the reception.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    Seriously? If the wedding was at a country club I would sure as hell leave my dog at home or incur boarding fees. Just like if your kids aren't invited - you decide if you want to pay for a sitter or decline the invitation. Where I live people have a huge sense of entitlement about their dogs - they often take them shopping, try to sneak them into restaurants, etc. It annoys the piss out of me. I like animals too, but they are not humans. There are places where having animals is inappropriate, like a formal event or someplace where food is served.

    OP, if you have a website, I'd make a note like, "we ask that the yard remain pet-free during the reception. Please ask if you need recommendations for pet boarding in the area." Or, you know, kenneling the dogs in a bedroom isn't the end of the world either.
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  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:5c106189-074e-4161-b197-90a78fc94825">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]SALT!  How ya doin' these days?
    Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

    <div>SO good!! How are you, pretty? Where have you been hiding?</div>
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  • I think spread it word of mouth that due to the large number of people present leaving the dogs at home would be appreciated. You may have guests who are allergic or afraid of dogs. I'm assuming that you are having more people there with a wedding than a typical family gathering, and people probably dress differently. I love dogs dearly but if I went to a wedding and there were 20 dogs running around, getting into the food, getting people dirty, being hazardous to children, etc. I would be a bit put off.

    It is not that big of a deal to put a dog in a kennel for 24 hours, or have someone come over a few times to let them out. Asking them to leave their dog for a day is not a horrible, terrible afront to dog owners.
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:8b2bdb8b-bffc-43f2-8305-074e9826a467">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Its not her house and she isn't paying for it. 
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>How do you know she's not paying for it?

    </div>
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  • edited July 2010
    And weddings - even backyard weddings - tend to be a LITTLE more important and upscale than a regular 4th of July BBQ or family reunion. Really, now.

    She also never said she isn't renting the house from the owners. Or perhaps it's her grandparents house and she's paying for all the rentals, set up, clean up, etc.
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  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:dfa9153a-6f7b-44b2-a0bb-2e7afc548b4e">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs : SO good!! How are you, pretty? Where have you been hiding?
    Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

    I'm doing pretty well. I've been mostly lurking because I haven't had much time. My wedding is under the 3 month mark (how did that happen?).

    Lisa: And I really don't think it's a stretch to figure out that a wedding is not like any other family GTG.  It's perfectly fine for OP to want a dog-free day, even if it's at her grandparents home.  And really, boarding fees or leaving the dogs unattended is just irrelevant to the situation at hand.
    image
  • The wedding is being held at his grandparent's house. I doubt they are charging her a site fee. Even if she is paying for the food and drinks, she is still saving a lot by having the wedding at their home.

    Bottomline it is their home. She can't dictate about their home.

    Furthermore, she mentioned she didn't even want to pay for a dog sitter. That would be a nominal expense. I would certainly pay for a dog sitter if someone allowed me to use their beautiful home on the bay.
  • Well what about the cats? I think if everyone else is allowed to bring their dogs, I think there should be a room set up for the cats too. Come to think of it, what about the birds and ferrets and and and...POT BELLIED PIGS???!!! I'm going to be really upset if people can bring their dogs but I can't bring my pet pig. ::Humpfh::
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:a02244d0-8de4-4cff-816b-5c00782852ed">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Furthermore, she mentioned she didn't even want to pay for a dog sitter. That would be a nominal expense. I would certainly pay for a dog sitter if someone allowed me to use their beautiful home on the bay.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Ok I've come to the conclusion that you must be illiterate. Considering that she said in her post:</div><div>
    </div><div><em>Should I hire a dog sitter to watch over the dogs kept in the house and to walk them if need be away from the area where the guests are?</em></div><div><em>
    </em></div><div><em><span style="font-style:normal;" class="Apple-style-span">Which would insinuate that she is perfectly willing to hire a dog sitter. </span>
    </em>
    </div>
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  • If the wedding was at a country club I would totally agree with you.

    But the wedding isn't at a regular venue. Citing examples of regular venues doesn't mean anything because it is not comparable.

    My bottomline advice was for her to discuss the issue with the owner of the house and not take unilateral action. I honestly don't see how anyone can fault that advice.


  • Hey salt. There is no reason for you to be so rude and insulting. I could make some comments about some things you have said here also but I don't post here to be rude to people.
  • edited July 2010
    Lisa please tell me you're kidding. If it is her job to pay for boarding should she pay for their hotel room too or traveling expenses? Just because it is her wedding does not mean she has to take on all of the expenses involved with having these people around. Paying for food and drinks is reasonable, paying for boarding for dogs is not.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:54cac0e7-0313-4c7b-9163-42042789eef8">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
    [QUOTE]If the wedding was at a country club I would totally agree with you. But the wedding isn't at a regular venue. Citing examples of regular venues doesn't mean anything because it is not comparable. My bottomline advice was for her to discuss the issue with the owner of the house and not take unilateral action. I honestly don't see how anyone can fault that advice.
    Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

    This is crazy talk.  My cousin's wedding was at my aunt's house.  I always bring my dogs to her house.  But this was a wedding, and I never thought for a second it would be appropriate to bring my dogs to it just because I always bring them to my aunt's house.  No one gets a wedding invitation to a wedding at someone's home and thinks "sweet!  get some poop bags, I'm bringin' the dogs!  Hon, should I RSVP for us and our furry friends?!"
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