How to decline?

Vireyda

Hello ladies,

I've lurked quite a bit over the last year and have learned so much, so thanks for that!

I received a destination wedding invitation last week from a woman I was friends with through elementary to high school, but we haven't actually spoken in at least the last five years beyond the occiasional facebook comment.  Her wedding is next January and with the invitation there was just the print out with instructions for placing the deposit (by April with full payment in October).  But there wasn't an RSVP card for me to send back to her to indicate that my FI and I would not be attending.  If no card was provided, do I just ignore it or is it my responsibility to contact her.  Would a message via Facebook suffice, or does it need to be written correspondence?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TIA!

msuprincess04

A handwritten note simply stating you will be unable to attend would be the proper way to decline. Though it is strange that it came without an RSVP. Are you sure it's not just a save the date? If the wedding is in January, invitations wouldn't go out until this fall. 

Vireyda

The bride sent me a STD in early January via e-mail with a note at the bottom that said formal invitation to follow.  The card I received last week definately looks and reads like an invitation:

"John Doe and Jane Doe
request the honour of your company
at the wedding of their daughter
Jill Doe
to
Jack Smtih"

etc. with ceremony and reception details.

I'll send a hand written note though.  Thanks!

Jen4948

A simple note like "Thank you very much for the invitation to your wedding, but unfortunately I will not be able to attend" ought to work.

"Placing the deposit" ????? What is that about?  Never mind, I don't want to know.

Vireyda

The deposit is for the flight and accomodations package the bride and groom have set up through the travel agency and resort they're using for their DW.

Maggie0829

Maybe the placing the deposit by April thing is their version of a RSVP.  Definitely not saying it is right, but maybe they figure those who placed their deposits are the one's who are coming and those who haven't aren't.  Again, that would be the dumb way of doing it because you can't be sure that people will use the travel set up by the agent or will even stay at the same resort.

Just send them a nice note thanking them for the invite but that unfortunately you can't make it.

Geesh and even though it is a DW, they still sent out their invites way to far in advance.