Wedding Etiquette Forum
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uhh your not invited...

So we are having 2 weddings. one here, one overseas.
The one here in va  I'm having a really hard time with the guest list.
for two reasons.
1. I really dont want alot of people...at all..
2. There are "friends" here that some of whom I do not want at my wedding but since they have been family "friends" for so long, it's expected I invite them. One of these is my "BFF" I have known her since I was 4. But over the years we have grown apart and she has NOT been supportive of my FI from the day I met him.
She's super judgemental and every friend I have and ex BF have hated her.

sooo...how do I escape inviting her? There has to be a way!

Re: uhh your not invited...

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    CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    It's really simple: when you're addressing your invitations, don't address one to her.
    image
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    Just don't send her an invitation.

    Whew. That was a tough one.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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    You just don't invite the people you don't want to invite, or in some cases you suck it up and invite them anyway (like if it's a family member and not inviting would cause more trouble than it's worth to you). There's no trick to it.
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    uhhh don't send her an invitation?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Other than your groom, there's no one that "has" to be invited.  However, that does not mean that some people won't be hurt if they are not invited.

    The most common route of letting people down easily (if they ask) is "I'm sorry, but we're having a really small wedding, so we can't invite a bunch of our close family and friends." 

    Another thing is that you should avoid talking about your wedding with anyone that you don't plan on inviting, to minimize people mistakenly believing that they'll receive an invitation.
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    Don't mention anything wedding related to anyone you're not invited. And if she brings anything up, mention the wedding overseas and maybe she'll just assume that's the only one and won't be surprised that she's not invited...maybe. 

    I don't understand why you're using quotations for "BFF" and why you refer to her as that and say she's judgemental and everyone hates her... just don't send her an invite?
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uhh-not-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e8753cfd-7b54-4759-aab2-f283d528e04ePost:1673a64c-4e6f-4e48-9ff8-7c44cd3c5b5b">Re: uhh your not invited...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't mention anything wedding related to anyone you're not invited. And if she brings anything up, mention the wedding overseas and maybe she'll just assume that's the only one and won't be surprised that she's not invited...maybe.  I don't understand why you're using quotations for "BFF" and why you refer to her as that and say she's judgemental and everyone hates her... just don't send her an invite?
    Posted by Milsey32[/QUOTE]


    Yeah, sounds like OP needs to man up and be straight with this chick.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uhh-not-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e8753cfd-7b54-4759-aab2-f283d528e04ePost:364911f9-29c0-4ba7-8d52-ab5ead48c174">Re: uhh your not invited...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: uhh your not invited... : Yeah, sounds like OP needs to man up and be straight with this chick.
    Posted by badkittyct[/QUOTE]

    *like button*
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    Yea it would be great to tell her how i feel about her..which btw would be my pleasure..unfortunately its not just about me.
    Her mom is best friends with my mom. My mom helped her family when they first came here. My brother is best friends with her sister. I'm not selfish enough to drag everyone elses happiness down because I cant stand her.
    Telling her to fly a kite would be great if it didnt affect every other relationship tied to ours. My mom knows i hate her but is greatful i have sucked it up for the past 10+ years.
    So keeping it from her family is not going to happen and just not sending an invite wont either.
    I may just have to send one and date it for the overseas wedding. She for sure wont make that one. good seggestion.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uhh-not-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e8753cfd-7b54-4759-aab2-f283d528e04ePost:e0136262-c786-41e4-973b-922054531a77">Re: uhh your not invited...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yea it would be great to tell her how i feel about her..which btw would be my pleasure..unfortunately its not just about me. Her mom is best friends with my mom. My mom helped her family when they first came here. My brother is best friends with her sister. I'm not selfish enough to drag everyone elses happiness down because I cant stand her. Telling her to fly a kite would be great if it didnt affect every other relationship tied to ours. My mom knows i hate her but is greatful i have sucked it up for the past 10+ years. So keeping it from her family is not going to happen and just not sending an invite wont either. I may just have to send one and date it for the overseas wedding. She for sure wont make that one. good seggestion.
    Posted by liebescott[/QUOTE]

    This to me falls into the category of "inviting someone you don't like because the consequences of not inviting aren't worth it." If you truly feel like you can't just not invite her, then you have to invite her. There's no other option beyond invite or don't invite.

    If you're supposedly as close as you say, I don't think you can get out of this by inviting her to an event that's happening in another country and not inviting her to the event she could actually attend.
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    agree with above, choose your battles.  Maybe it would just be easier to invite her.  
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    agree with above, choose your battles.  Maybe it would just be easier to invite her.  
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