odd shower question

rbtrumpet

so my best friend and maid of honor has been talking about my bridal shower...well probably since before I even started dating FI (we're both big party planners and have been making "plans" for each other's wedding for the longest time - lol!)!  But seriously, she started actually planning my shower about 3 days after I got engaged.

I know her - she likes to plan big parties.  She likes to go all out (we've thrown many parties together).  Well, I have 4 bridesmaids - 2 in the DC area, and 2 in MN (who have offered to help my mom plan a shower there).  MOH is one of the DC BMs.

The other DC BM is planning her own wedding in June.  She is trying to save money everywhere possible (not getting her hair/nails done, not attending different events), and is not much of a party person (I offered to throw her a bridal shower, but she said she didn't want one).

I don't want to be a burden on second BM in the area, but I don't want MOH ending up footing the entire bill for my shower here.

Is it acceptable to let MOH know that if she needs financial help, that I can chip in?  I'm willing to cut up veggies, and prepare all the food, or anything else that needs to get done. 

I don't want to sound pushy or anything, but I don't want all the responsibility to fall to MOH (and I know what kind of party she will plan, whether she foots all of it or not - I'm not asking her to go out of her way, it's just her nature - and she knows I will do the exact same for her when she gets married).

danieliza1127

I think it's fine to let your MOH that you are more than willing to help financially or in any way you can, although I'd be surprised if she takes you up on the offer.

It's also okay for your MOH to ask the other BMs if they would like to pitch in financially and help plan.  If she decides to take it on herself, then surely she knows that means financially as well.

rbtrumpet

Yeah - she's asked the other BMs, but like I said - 2 are planning a second shower elsewhere, and the one that is here is a bit strapped for cash, and not a shower person (just her personality).

I just want to let MOH know she's not alone in this (I'm afraid she will feel that way) - and although unconventional, I'm totally willing to help!

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_odd-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e91517ef-5b76-421c-bc7f-edd3c7103ed2Post:68fbd901-732a-437d-a9f3-94c720acf988">Re: odd shower question</a>:
[QUOTE]I just want to let MOH know she's not alone in this (I'm afraid she will feel that way) - and although unconventional, I'm totally willing to help!
Posted by rbtrumpet[/QUOTE]

There's nothing wrong with that!  I'm sure she'll appreciate the offer.

jasmineh7777

Let her know that you can help in whatever capacity needed. I'm sure she will appreciate the offer, whether or not she accepts.

ac_in_dc

Yeah, the only other thing I'd add is to make sure MOH knows that the other DC BM is strapped for cash and not a big party planning type.

Good luck!

sucrets4

She shouldn't plan and host a party she can't afford. 

Hopefully she's talked to your other local bm and had this discussion with her.  Something big might even make the other bm feel bad that she can't contribute more.

Even though you LIKE big parties, a shower can be small and simple and still be nice.  Do you seriously have cash laying around to throw at a shower?  I would feel more comfortable telling her that you'd like something smaller due to everyone's budgets and the economy, yadda yadda.