response cards

hoshiku

My mom wants to be very traditional with the invitation.  She says that when she was married everyone knew that a formal invitation required a formal reply (she even showed me a box of her formal replies).  I don't think I've ever been to a wedding (or other formal event) that didn't include response cards.  Do you think people will know to send a formal reply if response cards aren't included in the invitation?

sucrets4

Honestly, I would have no idea nor would I have the stationary for it.  Response cards have become the norm and I think are pretty formal now.

AmeliaMarie

Sadly, probably not.

JessAndTrav

I would send response cards. Your mother is right, back then, they didn't do response cards, but in our generation, we do response cards.

In your mother's time, they served cake and punch at weddings and not much else. Now, that's very common.

ScarletGem

I only know about formal responses (sans included RSVP card) because of my time on the Knot, and oot in particular.  :-)  I would tell your mom that it might already be hard to get everyone to respond; including RSVP cards will make it more likely that they'll get back to you in a timely fashion. 

sucrets4

I agree with Scarlet, I know about them now, but would have had no idea before coming here.

tenofcups4me

I think many people would be confused if nothing was included simply because it's not done that way now in most crowds.

Depending on your crowd, you might want to consider a kind of compromise: response cards that are blank except for something like "Please respond by date." People still respond with notes on the blank card, but there's at least a card and envelope (and response date!) to help guide them. That's what I used for my first wedding and we got great responses. But that's pretty normal in my crowd and people knew what to do with them (and even though my ex- thought his crowd wouldn't know what to do, we got close to 100% response from his side too so they figured it out).

banana468

Ditto ten.  You may want to go with her compromise.

However if you're not inviting certain people, this could be something that confuses guests if they respond for their children as well. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Like tencups said, you can include a blank card for those who don't necessarily have their own stationary. Someone here did that and loved the notes they got back.