wedding party dilema

camandizzysmom

We have been engaged since May 2012 and I immediately knew who i wanted on my side of things, had discussions with people.  We have a rather large group of friends and there has been some drama on the men's side of the group and there is a chance that the men that my fiance were going to ask to be on his side, won't be but they are married to people that I have asked to be on my side.  How can this be handled? The women are still getting along, it's the men that aren't. If I still have the women on my side, do we invite the other person to the wedding and just not have them in the wedding party? so should i rethink who i am having on my side?

Any opinions and / or suggestions are needed and greatly appreciated!

AddieCake

Just b/c someone is in your wedding party does not mean their spouse has to be. 

MuppetOverlord

You don't have to ask someone to be part of your wedding if you're not asking their spouse. Most weddings don't have matched spouses. None of my BMs are married to the groomsmens...and their spouses or significant others are attending.

mlg78

I've NEVER heard of having to have a wedding party member's spouse in a wedding party...that's bizarre.  

You choose who you want...your fiance chooses who he wants.  Voila!  It's done.  Simple as that.  Don't over think.

hgminor

I'm a little confused, did your FI already ask them or is it only your side that has been asked? There's no need to have couples in the party, it just sometimes works out that way with family members or groups of friends. Now, if he's already talked to them, or it you told their SOs that they would also be involved, then that complicates things.

MoonlightSilver

You don't have to have both spouses in the wedding party. It's okay for you to ask a woman to be in your party, and your husband to NOT ask her husband.

Everyone you invite needs to also have their Significant Other invited, regardless of drama. So yes, those husbands not asked to be in the wedding party still need to be invited.

All of this is to be ignored if you already asked them to be in your wedding party. Whomever you asked, must stay. It would be very rude to "demote" someone. 

camandizzysmom

My side has been asked and his side hasn't. The awkwardness is that they are probably expecting to be in it as there have been other weddings in which they have all participated in.

mcda04

If your Fi's not getting along with your BM's husbands / So's then they don't have to be his GM. Easy.

Oh and just in case this is the issue; Sides DON'T have to be even.

Jen4948

Both partners of a couple don't have to be chosen for a wedding party; neither do sides have to be even.