From today's paper - Seriously??

GoodLuckBear14

DEAR ABBY: My mother was recently invited to a shower and was given specific instructions not to put her name on the gift. The reason? The honoree plans to issue one general thank-you to everyone because she "doesn't have the time" to send individual thank-you notes.

Abby, if someone takes the time and spends the money to buy a gift, shouldn't the recipient be gracious enough to write a personal note? -- THOUGHT I'D HEARD IT ALL IN OHIO

DEAR THOUGHT: Of course she should! If the honoree is so busy that she plans to forgo thanking her guests for their generosity, she should save everyone's time, money and effort and forgo the shower.

GoodLuckBear14

I thought it was bad at every shower where I was told to address my own thank you envelope "to help the bride out".

baystateapple

Just when you think you've seen it all...

hlq2011

Yeah, I'd be declining in a hurry.

cengle

I would be passing up that shower. Grief.

Wrkn925

I would bring nothing, then throw a fit if I didn't get a TY note.

Or bring a bag of shiit and blame it on whoever told the bride this was ok.

Mrs.B6302007

Now THAT is a new one!

Stackeye210

I'd flip the wrapping paper inside out and write my name all over the paper.  Oh, and the gift would be filled will all sorts of kitchen gadgets from the dollar store that look pretty but don't work at all. 

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_todays-paper-seriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ea8cd48a-009c-4812-9e00-9827f426dd46Post:08821572-47eb-4f60-af73-7891a3b4d735">Re: From today's paper - Seriously??</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd flipped the wrapping paper inside out and write my name all over the paper.  Oh, and the gift would be filled will all sorts of kitchen gadgets from the dollar store that look pretty but don't work at all. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

ditto this.

mandapanda78

I'm flabbergasted.

Nattie24

I would give her a box of rocks. 

cengle

My mom holds grudges if she doesn't get a TY note from a shower or wedding. Truth. She will hold it against people for YEARS.

She also feels the need to tell me all about it.

missy68

A box of underwear in all sorts of sizes, mostly granny style. No name. Sent with someone else.

Marrin713

If the bride doesn't have time to send thank you notes it better be because she'll be busy doing back to back to back life saving organ transplants from now to eternity.

Wonder what she'll do for the wedding gifts?

jessicabessica

That just seems like an invitation to give lots of cheap crap. 

b0710

Wow!  That's crazy!  How would she even know if you got her a gift?  I think all the attendees should chip in on 1 gift only and make her spend more on the thank you postage!

Wrkn925

Better yet, I would buy her a box of thank you notes, a nice pen, a roll of stamps and an address book to set out at the shower.

peanutty2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_todays-paper-seriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ea8cd48a-009c-4812-9e00-9827f426dd46Post:ba3cbd30-d70c-4761-b749-37c47dd2a133">Re: From today's paper - Seriously??</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought it was bad at every shower where I was told to address my own thank you envelope "to help the bride out".
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

agreed. i was unfortunately a bm for this wedding where the guests were asked to address their own ty cards.  i thought that was odd, they already bought you a gift, traveled, etc. and they have to address their own ty cards?!  and one bm wanted to buy the bride a stamp that said "thank you" so she could just stamp each one.  and then she never even sent out the thank you cards!!!  maybe dont' force your bms to throw you a 100+ person shower if you can't be bothered thanking your guests!

rude rude rude. that dear abby post just blows my mind. like she said, just when you thought you've seen it all!

Calypso1977

honestly, the bride could avoid this ridiculous request and still issue one blanket thank you (even tho that's tacky too).    not sure why seh had to tell everyone to leave their name off.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_todays-paper-seriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ea8cd48a-009c-4812-9e00-9827f426dd46Post:257ec610-b77d-4360-89cd-67bbf260ae8e">Re: From today's paper - Seriously??</a>:
[QUOTE]Better yet, I would buy her a box of thank you notes, a nice pen, a roll of stamps and an address book to set out at the shower.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Great Idea. I would so do something like that. People are amazing...

achiduck

Way to go Dear Abby! But seriously, holy crap!

I don't understand why it's so hard to write:

Daer so and so,

Thank you for the lovely/cool/generous  (Insert gift item here). FI/H and I were really excited to receive it and look forward to using it. I really appreciate that you took the time to come to my shower and can't wait to see you again at the wedding/over the holidays/soon.

Love/Cheers/Best,

Bride

Jelenny

wooooow

And I thought it was weird the FMIL went to a shower and they  basically had them fill out their own thank yous....the chick signed them and popped them in the mail.  YIKES.

RebeccaB88

I would just say that if the bride didn't have time to thank me, then I didn't have time to attend her shower... or wedding. 

vexie

I've actually been to a few showers where the MOH made an announcement along the lines of "we know the bride is very busy so let's just all accept her thanks now so she doesn't have to write out individual thank you cards.  Anyone object?'   I was surprised the first time this happened... of course no one had the gall to say 'hey wait a minute, I want my personalized thank you'... then a few other bride-to-be's jumped on board and did the same at their showers soon afterwards.   Some brides just don't think....  six years after my cousin's wedding she still hasn't sent out thank you's for her wedding gifts either *sigh*