Wedding Etiquette Forum

Just for fun: what was/has been your worst "am I invited?" story so far?

I've gotten quite a few of these already. What has your worst been? It gauls me that people don't realize how incredibly rude it is! Have you ever noticed that its usually people who aren't married or engaged? Aka people who haven't had the stress of paying for each extra person...

Re: Just for fun: what was/has been your worst "am I invited?" story so far?

  • We got very lucky and didn't have any extras show up. I did have about 15 yes rsvps not show up too though which sucked.

    I did however have to call a friend to ask if my H was invited to her wedding, as the response card only had one line for a write in response. She thought we would just write both of our names in the same line and all was well.
  • I'm confused. Do you mean people asking you if they're invited? I don't know that I had any of those, and if I did, it was insignificant and I don't remember a year and a half later.
  • On New Year's Eve last year, at my sister's party, her ex came up to me and said "So, am I invited to your wedding?  Because I've known you longer than you've known your fiance."  It was really, really awkward.  And no, he wasn't invited.
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  • LOL Baystate- people are so weird.

    I've got a fraternity brother from college who keeps writing on my facebook wall "I better get an invitation to your wedding!"

    and we had a chick that my FI knows straight up ask him to his face,"so i'm invited, right?" neither of us are close to her at all. why do people assume that just because they know you and you share a few mutual friends that they're invited? GAH.

    georgia- I mean people asking if they're invited. sorry about that!
  • The only awkward one I had was a looong time ago. It was like a year and a half before the wedding, and it was a former high school classmate that showed up at my old job. All she said was, "And I'm going to be invited right???" I just laughed, and didn't answer her.
  • cfa- whaaaat?! who says things like that?! lol
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-fun-washas-worst-am-invited-story-far?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eb5e096b-aa79-46f2-b9b0-323837959328Post:f0757a4e-2c9b-41dd-9cbd-9781ad909173">Re: Just for fun: what was/has been your worst "am I invited?" story so far?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a doozy of a story. I have this good friend of mine from high school. We kinda lost touch in college because he went kinda nutso, but we still emailed every now and then. Last year, before my FI and I got engaged, he supposedly went through a sex change operation. I say supposedly, because the guy is a notorious liar and since I haven't seen him in over three years, it's not like I had proof. Anywho, so FI and I get engaged last summer, I let this guy/girl know. He/She responds with an email that said something like, "Oh my gosh! That's so great! I can't wait to be in your bridal party! I should have the sex change completed by your wedding and I'll look great in a dress!" Uhh... what? So, I let her/him know that she wouldn't be a bridesmaid/man and he/she has since stopped emailing me. Oh well.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    HA! Whoa!
  • Ours wasn't too bad.  I had one girl I used to work with who would say anytime I saw her "I better be invited to your wedding."  I hadn't worked with her in 2.5 years, and only see her once every few months when I stop in there to grab something to eat.  I always just laughed it off and didn't answer.  She wasn't invited.

    My problem was feeling guilty with some of the ones we cut.  I had one friend that I was really close with through high school and college, but we've drifted apart in the last few years.  I rarely see him and his GF and we don't keep in contact at all.  We see eachother when we happen to have run ins at Target or the grocery store.  So i had to cut them from our list, and of couse I ran into them about 5 times in the 2 months before our wedding.  They were always asking me about how the planning was going and what not, so I felt bad that I hadn't invited them. 

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  • Um Wow cfa.. You win "the most awkward exchange ever" award... I think i would have been mortified.

    I just had 1 friend that i was suppose to be her BM (they called off the wedding 5 months before the date) and when I got engaged and I told her she got so excited adn started talking about the type of bridemaid dresses I was going to get and she just assumed she was going to be a BM. However I wasn't planning on having her as one, so when I told her she freaked out and didn't talk to me for a while.

    Then one day on facebook she sends me a message and tells me it wasn't a "good time" for her to find out she wasn't going to be a BM.... I mean what was I suppose to do? Wait till the night before the wedding to tell ehr she wouldn't be a BM?
  • We ran into my ex-boyfriend at the bar, who worked with both my DH and I. He told us both that he better be invited to the wedding since he got us together. Mind you, when my DH and I first started seeing eachother my ex told him to stay away from me that I was bad news, and got my BIL in on the hating Allie club as well. Yeah, sure you're invited...

    *~allie~*

  • We only had one, and it wasn't all that interesting. A friend from college, who happens to be SIL's best friend from grade school, sent me a message on FB saying something like "I didn't get an invite? Sad!" so I responded with "sorry, I had to cut a lot of friends because my family is huge and I'm running out of space." And she hasn't spoken to me since. The reason she didn't get invited is because I already hadn't spoken to her in several months, and hadn't seen her in over a year. The last time I saw her she brought some creepy teenager that she had started dating, she was 25 and he was 18, and they both acted like they were 13 when they were together. I suppose it didn't help that her best friend who is also my friend and SIL's friend was invited to the wedding. Oh well.
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  • CFA that is crazy!!

    I had a lot of awkward "No, you're not invited" conversations. One of my good friends, we'll call her H, was invited to my wedding and H lived with a girl we'll call C. Well C and I are not good friends at all, we were in the same sorority in college but that's where our commonalities end. I sent H an invitation and then C went around to everyone getting their opinions on whether or not it meant that she was invited because an invite had been sent to her house... to H...?! So dang awkward.

    I had 5 different people FB chat harrass me weekly after I got engaged asking if they were invited. None of them were. If you have to ask if you're invited, you're probably not.
  • This isn't my story, it's really my friend's, but I was a part of it... unfortunately.

    My friend's wedding is in May and I'm really good friends with one of her groomsmen. I was talking to him one night about the wedding, and how us and a few other friends should chip in for a couple hotel rooms the night of the wedding since it's OOT a bit. He agreed and said we would need to "invite more people so it's more fun!" (sidenote: he actually thought the bride and groom would want to share the hotel rooms with us...)

    Anyways, he then said "Hey, what about if Jordan came?!" to which I replied that Jordan was not invited to the wedding. So what did my friend say?

    "Well I'll just ask [bride] if he can come too!"

    So he did. He talked to his friend to see if Jordan would want to come, and then asked the bride if he could invite Jordan to the wedding.

    To make it even more awkward: Jordan and the bride used to kinda have a thing for each other. The groom quickly vetoed the invite.
  • Mark's niece, who was 13 or 14 at the time, asked point blank if she could be a bridesmaid.  That was awkward.  Mark's old friend asked point blank if he was the best man.  Also awkward, but not as bad because it was via email, not face t o face.  On the other hand, this was a grown man, not a young teen!
  • An old friend who stopped talking to me when I started dating FI (he didn't approve of our relationship since FI is Christian and conservative) called me out of the blue (and after my guest list had been set) and asked if I was engaged and if he was invited.  Umm...  this guy stopped talking to me for two years because of my FI's political views. 

    When I asked what changed, the ex-friend said that it's one thing to disapprove of us dating, but now that we're engaged, everything changed.  Yeah.  The guy stopped talking to me for two years.  Specifically because of FI.  What changed when we became engaged was that his likelihood of receiving a wedding invitation went from unlikely to definitely no.


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-fun-washas-worst-am-invited-story-far?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eb5e096b-aa79-46f2-b9b0-323837959328Post:f0757a4e-2c9b-41dd-9cbd-9781ad909173">Re: Just for fun: what was/has been your worst "am I invited?" story so far?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a doozy of a story.  "Oh my gosh! That's so great! I can't wait to be in your bridal party! I should have the sex change completed by your wedding and I'll look great in a dress!" Uhh... what? So, I let her/him know that she wouldn't be a bridesmaid/man and he/she has since stopped emailing me. Oh well.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    Wow... No one will ever be able to compete with this story... EVER

    *hands you the award*
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  • We keep constanly having friends ask if they're invited or tell us that they better be invited, but we simply can't. We're not even inviting all of both of our families. I hate having to deal with that. Sometimes I just smile and change the subject.
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  • My sister was bullied into bringing her friend's brother to her wedding.  The friend (also BM) was her friend since HS... so probably friends for 5-7+years.  She already invited the girl's parents and they pressured her for MONTHS about inviting him.

    She always said.. we are tight on space, but I will see when I get my RSVPs back.  She got a ton of "accepts" so finally said no.

    Even the parents were flat out bullying her to bring the brother.. who my sister hardly knows and doesn't hang out with on her own.  Eventually, she was too stressed out by it and let him come.

    The daughter is about to get engaged herself (we just all know it is coming soon) so I wonder what will happen when the parents realize the actual expense of weddings and what if feels like to deal with guest lists!!
  • We've had a few of the "am I invited" questions for DDs wedding, so far we've been able to just change the subject.

    My SIL (she is married to DH's younger brother) mentioned that her younger sister was getting married and having a very small wedding. She mentioned this as what she thought was subtle way to ask if her 4 teenage daughters could be bridesmaids in my DDs wedding.  Her girls are 14, 16, 18, and 20. They are great girls but DD already has 9 BM.

    She basically said her own sister's wedding was going to be very small so her 4 girls weren't part of it and led right in to -" but they REALLY want to be bridesmaids" and "how many girls is DD having?".... pause..." they'd really love to be bridesmaids in a wedding."  Uh no.
  • last night my DH's older sister called and asked about wedding plans. The wedding is 5  hours from her house (she lives 3 hours East of us) and 2 hours West from ours. We are going on Friday for the rehearsal and dinner hosted by FSIL's folks. Because the wedding party is very large it is going to be parents, wedding party & dates/spouses, those actively participating in the wedding only and will still be about 52 people.

    She told me she was going to come Friday to take behind the scenes pictures and hang out and then leave after the reception on Saturday night rather than spend that night. Which means she'd be leaving at 11 pm, it is long, curvy, hilly roads back to the interestate (an hour of those types of roads) and it can get foggy. Not a good idea if you aren't familiar with the area.  I suggested she spend Saturday night and leave Sunday morning.   I knew DD didn't want her underfoot on Friday or on Saturday morning while we're trying to get ready.   It would be one thing if she were very close to this aunt but she's not. This aunt is annoying and loud and the last thing we all need those 2 days.

    I let DD know last night about her aunt's "plans" and that I think I've managed to change her mind. DD was very happy I'd nixed the idea.

    Her reasoning on the pictures was that her DDs friend had a photographer skip town and she never got any of her pictures. While that could happen I'm confident it won't. I also told her there will be 2 photographers there, one with the girls and one with the guys all day Saturday and saturday night. 


  • Haven't had too many yet, thankfully, but yesterday we were able to get in early and look around at a venue because as it turns out FI knew someone who worked there.  He did a great job taking us around and introducing us to key people we would be working with in the process, but he kept inviting himself and all these people to the wedding after we put a hold on the date and making it seem like we had all been best friends since diapers.  It wouldn't be so bad as a thank you for helping us get into a great venue that's otherwise usually full, but FI just met this guy a week ago and now he thinks we owe it to him.  
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  • I've got one.
    A friend of a friend would always ask me about plans and such on fb. I always told him everything was going well, and yes I was getting excited, blahblahblah. So one day he tells me, "I can't wait to party and get so drunk on free booze at your wedding!" First of all, you arent invited. Second, no one be getting "so drunk" on free booze, because we arent having an open bar. I didn't say that to him. But he got the hint when the wedding rolled around and he wasnt there.
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  • TTiger03TTiger03 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited August 2010
    I've had several ex co-workers (I'm still in the same building but different department) TELL me they are coming to my wedding though I have no intentions of inviting any of them.  [I despise one's husband.  NO one likes another, so I have no idea where she would sit without making other people I do want there miserable. The last one should have seriously had sexual harassment charges for a lot of the things he would say to me and ask me including constantly asking me about my sexual history, cycles and implying I should offer to have his baby since his wife is unable to have a second and he really wanted a son.]

    FI had a friend from work who recently quit send him a note on Facebook.  She is still on the guest list and all but I offense when she said "How are things going with your boo?  I better get my invite or I'm coming anyway."

    The worst though was before we were actually engaged.  My college roommate (it's been 7 years) tell me she was going to be my MOH.  She quickly followed with "but I guess it might be better for me to just be a BM since your sister is actually in the same state."  
    At the time she wasn't going to be a BM either because we didn't really want WP members from out of state after my sister had a lot of problems with that at her wedding. - After talking with FI before the final decisions were made we both decided to add her and another of his more distant friends.
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  • Holy cow, I'm glad I'm not the only one!  I go line dancing every Tuesday (yes, you may laugh) and there is one woman there who is constantly asking if she and some of the other dancers can come to the reception and do some dancing. AND THEN she complains that the reception will be too far away and it'll be really hard for her to drive down for the evening.  I don't even know her last name....
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  • I haven't had too many yet. A few co-workers have asked if they're invited and others kinda hint around it, but I just say that we have limited space and can only accomodate so many. Even my boss has hinted around and I do NOT want her at my wedding. 

    My fiance had a co-worker ask about the wedding date and then he said "Oh ok, I have to tell my g/f we have two weddings to go to now". My fiance then told him about the limited space and his co-worker just walked away with his tail between his legs. How can people just assume they're invited to your wedding??That just urks me.


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  • our wedding is just over a year away and when i returned from maternity leave (we do things backwards!) i told the 'girls' (both 59!) that we finally decided to get married, the one who i am actually really close to said she better be invited, which she was, but that irritated me. then when i got to the office and told the other one, who i do NOT plan on inviting said, i better be getting an invitation i just about lost it! she got married (for the 6th time) last year, and talked CONSTANTLY about every aspect of the wedding and i wasn't invited. i wasn't hurt because we really dont get along very well. and if i had been invited, i wouldn't have gone. then this year she tells me about every aspect of planning her daughters baby shower (i've met her daughter NUMEROUS times and who also talks to me on the phone about her 'complicated' pregnancy) and i wasn't invited to that either (but the cafeteria lady was!)! why would this woman think she is invited to MY wedding?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
  • I invited one cousin, A, and not another, B.

    A wrote on B's FB wall for B's birthday "Happy birthday! Can't wait to see you at Desert's wedding!"

    B then sent me a FB message saying she and her husband would "be in town around that time" and they wanted to "make sure it's okay if we come."

    Gotta love facebook, right?

    ...really doesn't compare to cfa's story, though! Awkward.
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  • Birdie1483Birdie1483 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    There was one person that half jokingly said "you better be inviting me!" I probably will because she's really close with a good friend of mine who will be there and one more person isn't going to make or break the seating situation, but FI wasn't too thrilled. We're not really close with this person and he's cutting people that he's closer with. It'll be something we have to discusss when it's time to make the final list. :)
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