How do i ask?

jenjenaz

i'm getting married in another state and plan to have a make up artist/hairdresser come in to do my stuff and that of my sister (MOH) - who is the only person on my side of the wedding party.  i thought that i might extend to the moms and my FI's sisters, but not sure how to do so....i don't really want to pay for everyone (would come out to almost 1k before gratuity to pay for everyone), but i also feel like it's tacky to say 'we're having this done, let me know if you want to do it to - it's $150 per person.'  and i know that one of his sisters couldn't afford it.  since everyone has to travel for the wedding (sis's plane/hotel will likely be paid by parents), do i just suck it up and pay for it all?  FI's sisters aren't in the wedding party, but they're his sisters and i want them to feel included on the day of their only brothers wedding.  they'll have flower too....
what do i do?

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ebaca618-d611-4ece-b0c0-e42fceea9193Post:290aeefd-a600-4234-a361-8ea762a3ee7e">How do i ask?</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm getting married in another state and plan to have a make up artist/hairdresser come in to do my stuff and that of my sister (MOH) - who is the only person on my side of the wedding party.  i thought that i might extend to the moms and my FI's sisters, but not sure how to do so....i don't really want to pay for everyone (would come out to almost 1k before gratuity to pay for everyone), but i also feel like it's tacky to say <strong>'we're having this done, let me know if you want to do it to - it's $150 per person.</strong>'  and i know that one of his sisters couldn't afford it.  since everyone has to travel for the wedding (sis's plane/hotel will likely be paid by parents), do i just suck it up and pay for it all?  FI's sisters aren't in the wedding party, but they're his sisters and i want them to feel included on the day of their only brothers wedding.  they'll have flower too.... what do i do?
Posted by jenjenaz[/QUOTE]

That's not tacky, that's generally the correct way to inform them that those services are available for them.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ebaca618-d611-4ece-b0c0-e42fceea9193Post:290aeefd-a600-4234-a361-8ea762a3ee7e">How do i ask?</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm getting married in another state and plan to have a make up artist/hairdresser come in to do my stuff and that of my sister (MOH) - who is the only person on my side of the wedding party.  i thought that i might extend to the moms and my FI's sisters, but not sure how to do so....i don't really want to pay for everyone (would come out to almost 1k before gratuity to pay for everyone), but i also feel like it's tacky to say <strong>'we're having this done, let me know if you want to do it to - it's $150 per person.' </strong> and i know that one of his sisters couldn't afford it.  since everyone has to travel for the wedding (sis's plane/hotel will likely be paid by parents), do i just suck it up and pay for it all?  FI's sisters aren't in the wedding party, but they're his sisters and i want them to feel included on the day of their only brothers wedding.  they'll have flower too.... what do i do?
Posted by jenjenaz[/QUOTE]

The bolded part isn't tacky at all. No one expects you to pay for everyone's make-up, and if someone can't afford it then tough, sometimes adults can't afford all the fun things they want to do.

I'd probably invite them to get ready with you guys and say that you have this person coming who charges $150 if they want to make an appointment but otherwise they can just do their own hair and make-up at the same place as you and your sister.

kristeno90

  If they aren't in the wedding then it is perfectly fine to inform them of your plans but tell them they would have to pay for their own.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ebaca618-d611-4ece-b0c0-e42fceea9193Post:290aeefd-a600-4234-a361-8ea762a3ee7e">How do i ask?</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm getting married in another state and plan to have a make up artist/hairdresser come in to do my stuff and that of my sister (MOH) - who is the only person on my side of the wedding party.  i thought that i might extend to the moms and my FI's sisters, but not sure how to do so....i don't really want to pay for everyone (would come out to almost 1k before gratuity to pay for everyone), but i also feel like it's tacky to say 'we're having this done, let me know if you want to do it to - it's $150 per person.'  and i know that one of his sisters couldn't afford it.  since everyone has to travel for the wedding (sis's plane/hotel will likely be paid by parents), do i just suck it up and pay for it all?  FI's sisters aren't in the wedding party, but they're his sisters and i want them to feel included on the day of their only brothers wedding.  they'll have flower too.... what do i do?
Posted by jenjenaz[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Just keep the appointment for you and your MOH.  $150 is a lot of money for people to pay, especially if they aren't even in the WP.  You could offer them to make an appointment, but they might feel obligated to go even if they don't want to.  I would just leave it, and if anyone asks you could tell them the plan and they could add if they want.  </div><div>
</div>

TheCranberry

I agee that it's not tacky.  You're not requiring it so they can decide whether to do it or not do it.  Even if they decide not to get hair/make-up done, you can still include them by inviting them to hang out while you get ready.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would just invite them to come "get ready" with you, and if they inquire about hair and makeup tell them you're having someone come in, but her services are $150.

slwager

your'e in the clear.  and bringing it up casually in a "if you're interested way..." would prob be best so they don't feel like they should do it

Kmcgrail1190

I have three sisters, Im paying for my wedding partie's hair and makeup and the mom's thats it. someone else wants their hair done professionally, thats their issue to pay for!