This co-worker probably thinks she's invited... She's not

luvvtoobeme

I work in a small office with 2 other people.  I plan on inviting one but not the other.  The thing is, truthfully, I really can't stand "the other".  She is rude, fake, and constantly talks behind my back but is always "pleasant" to my face but I know its not sincere.  Other than the "I simply don't like her" reason, is the fact that she's 85 years old!!! (Don't ask me why she's still working... I'll never understand it)  We would NEVER be friends outside of work and my husband-to-be and I agreed that we only want to be surrounded by REAL friends and family that whole-heartedly love and care for us. 

Bottom line: She is not invited.

I already know it will be drama once she realizes the date is approaching and she hasn't received an invite.  There's a girl all of us know, but that she's not even remotely close to that got married earlier this year, and when she realized she wasn't invited she went on and on about it for weeks and even cried... CRIED!!!

Although I do not like her, I keep my relationship with her professional especially because we have to work so closely.  My dilemma is she keeps asking me for details to my wedding.  My dress, the venue, the date, the colors, blah blah, blah.  I don't want to discuss anything regarding the wedding with her because I think its tacky to yak about it with someone I have no intentions on inviting.  When she asks me questions what can I say?  Keep in mind I am a horrible liar, so I find it difficult to just answer "Oh, I don't know" with a convincing face.  What would be the proper way to handle this?

crash2729

Change the subject if you don't want to talk wedding with her.

LittleMissCutiePie

Keep the relationship professional, like you said. If she asks you about wedding stuff, just say "We really should get back to work", or walk away. She'll get the hint soon enough, and if she gets upset, what is she going to do? Just avoid wedding talk at all costs.

luvvtoobeme

I will definitely try to avoid wedding talk.  It gets difficult when co-workers that I'm really close to stop by my office and ask how the planning is going.  I guess I should pull them aside and ask them not ask or talk about wedding stuff in the office.

Cortney1982

Here is what I did...  This girl at work who I would not be friends with outside work tried to invite herself.  I told her it was a family only affair and that was that!

So if you can get away with it, have your other co worker keep it on the DL!

rebarobert2012

If she brings up the wedding, politely try to change the subject.  I would also try to avoid discussing wedding plans with other people while she is listening.

Since your office is so small, I'm sure that she will eventually realize that your other co-worker is invited and she is not.  It sounds like you are prepared for the hurt feelings that will come with that.  Just try to be as professional as possible.

Choco9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-co-worker-probably-thinks-shes-invited-shes-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec861b60-4ecc-4e28-acc0-3284a89e077ePost:9712d06b-3ba7-4736-a911-0ed915e6f509">Re: This co-worker probably thinks she's invited... She's not</a>:
[QUOTE]I will definitely try to avoid wedding talk.  It gets difficult when co-workers that I'm really close to stop by my office and ask how the planning is going.  I guess I should pull them aside and ask them not ask or talk about wedding stuff in the office.
Posted by luvvtoobeme[/QUOTE]

Wait.. I thought you only had 2 coworkers.

mmw&lmd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-co-worker-probably-thinks-shes-invited-shes-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec861b60-4ecc-4e28-acc0-3284a89e077ePost:0919aee2-0931-4714-a3a0-98493c1c4d7a">This co-worker probably thinks she's invited... She's not</a>:
[QUOTE]I work in a small office with 2 other people.  I plan on inviting one but not the other.  The thing is, truthfully, I really can't stand "the other".  She is rude, fake, and constantly talks behind my back but is always "pleasant" to my face but I know its not sincere.  Other than the "I simply don't like her" reason,<strong> is the fact that she's 85 years old!!! (Don't ask me why she's still working... I'll never understand it)</strong>  We would NEVER be friends outside of work and my husband-to-be and I agreed that we only want to be surrounded by REAL friends and family that whole-heartedly love and care for us.  Bottom line: She is not invited. I already know it will be drama once she realizes the date is approaching and she hasn't received an invite.  There's a girl all of us know, but that she's not even remotely close to that got married earlier this year, and when she realized she wasn't invited she went on and on about it for weeks and even cried... CRIED!!! Although I do not like her, I keep my relationship with her professional especially because we have to work so closely.  My dilemma is she keeps asking me for details to my wedding.  My dress, the venue, the date, the colors, blah blah, blah.  I don't want to discuss anything regarding the wedding with her because I think its tacky to yak about it with someone I have no intentions on inviting.  When she asks me questions what can I say?  Keep in mind I am a horrible liar, so I find it difficult to just answer "Oh, I don't know" with a convincing face.  What would be the proper way to handle this?
Posted by luvvtoobeme[/QUOTE]

<div>Okay, I get that you don't like this lady, and that's fine.  You can invite (or not) whoever you want.  But why are you going on about her AGE and how she's STILL WORKING at 85?  What the heck does that have to do with <em>anything</em>??</div><div>
</div><div>My grandmother is 86 and worked until a few months ago.  She worked because she is alone and her work <em>gives her life purpose</em>.  It kept her going.  How rude of you to speak about her like that.  It would have been more tactful for you to stick to "I just don't like her."  I say props to her for continuing to work, what a strong woman.</div><div>
</div><div>I hope in 50-60 years people don't talk about your age like it's a disease.</div><div>
</div><div>EDIT: I see this thread was posted three times... okay?  Reading where you addressed age issue in another thread.  </div><div>
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