Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inviatation and Gift questions

Hello,

Sorry in advance if these types of questions have been asked before.  My fiance, who is Japanese, and I live in Japan and will be moving to Hawaii next Summer. Our wedding will be in August in Hawaii. We are inviting a few family members from both sides. A few weeks after the wedding, we will fly to my hometown, Denver, which will be a chance for her to meet the rest of my very large family. My plan is to have some type of celebration party, perhaps a BBQ, while we are in Colorado.

Here are my questions:

Do I send wedding invitations to everyone or only the people invited to the wedding in Hawaii? (Basically everyone is welcome, but I know some of my family members won't be able to afford the airfare and hotel.)  Would I send a separate invitation to the BBQ?

As for the BBQ and gifts (if people wanted to give us gifts that is), is it possible to register in a store/stores in Hawaii and then have the gifts shipped from that store to our home in Hawaii? I'm just wondering how we would get all of the gifts back to Hawaii from Denver other than shipping them ourselves, and wondering if there wasn't a way around having to ship them home without being presumptious or rude to my family and friends. What do other people do when the wedding is in their hometown but they no longer live there anymore?

Thanks for any advice you may have!

Re: Inviatation and Gift questions

  • Invite everyone to the wedding. Whether or not they can make it is up to them. You shouldn't presume to know who can and cannot afford it.

    When you register, you generally have to give the store an address to ship gifts. You can list your Hawaii address. While the BBQ in Denver isn't really a gift-giving event, I think most people will be smart enough to know you can't stuff a toaster oven and pots and pans set into your carryon luggage.

    If people at the BBQ give you gifts, it'll likely be in the form of cash or small, packable items (picture frames, sheets, etc.). 
  • If you would truly like to invite your family from Denver and can afford to host the reception if everyone truly attends, then invite them.  Even though it is a destination wedding (for your guests), you cannot assume that people won't come due to financial situations.  This might just be the excuse someone will use to have a Hawaiian vacation.  Just send them the hotel information with the wedding invitation and see what happens.  But the worst thing will be if you invite 100 people, thinking only 20 of those will attend and just about everyone ends up coming.  That would put you in a bad situation later.

    As for the registy, I would use a store that is in Hawaii.  Hopefully anyone wishing to send a gift will just have it shipped to your house.  But in the off chance you recieve physical gifts in Denver, attempt to return them to the store prior to leaving Denver.  When you return to Hawaii, you can repurchase everything you bought using the gift cards you received from the returns.  That way you won't have to ship or lug your gifts home and you will still have everything your guests purchased for you.
  • Thank you everyone for your replies! That was some good advice and I will do as you suggest.

    Cheers!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards